Is there any good way to communicate with children?

There are secrets to communicating with children. (1) When communicating with children, do you often feel that "the bull's head is not right for the horse's mouth"? You cared about your child, but he didn't appreciate it; I want to talk about my heart, but I find my child is absent-minded ... In fact, my child is selective when communicating with his parents. If you can't open his heart, naturally you can't communicate with him correctly, and good words may not play a good role. Attention: Briefly state the scenario and assumptions 1. Before sending your child to school, you tell him: "Lele, be careful on the road, wait for the green light when crossing the road, don't talk to strangers casually, and call the police when you encounter any difficulties ..." But your child doesn't look up: "Mom, you are so annoying, you tell this story every day!" 2. You went to school to pick up your daughter. On the way, you wiped her sweat and asked with concern, "Xin Wei, are you obedient at school?" Did someone bully you? Remember the homework assigned by the teacher? " As a result, the answer your daughter gave you was: "Mom, my ears are getting cocooned!" " "Facts and Results In this kind of communication, you can't understand the child more and more: Why does this child hate me more and more? In fact, every child is eager for the care and caress of his parents, but his "adult" consciousness often makes him unwilling to accept it, especially his parents' "hot pursuit" questions and endless preaching. That's right. A clever mother once deliberately asked her son before he went to school, "What should I pay attention to on the way?" The son replied happily and proudly: "Pay attention to safety!" "Thus, parents' concise and clear teaching, if you care, the effect will be better. Sweet words: affectionate scenes and assumptions 1. After a busy day, you have to drag your tired body to cook when you get home, but your 5-year-old daughter can't do arithmetic. She came to you for help. You are very upset, but you hold back your anger and say "sweet words" to her: "Sweet, mom is so busy now, I will do my homework in a minute, so you should be considerate of mom!" As a result, my daughter went to watch cartoons, and you forgot about it later. Woke up the next morning, your daughter found that her homework had not been finished, crying and refusing to go to school. You find that your son is in a bad mood these two days and is unhappy all day, so you ask your husband to whisper to him and communicate with him. However, your 6-year-old son lost his temper and said that his father had invaded his privacy. You and your husband looked at each other and were at a loss. Facts and Results Parents put down their bodies and wanted to talk to their children. As a result, they found themselves farther and farther away from their children. What's going on here? In fact, this is not surprising. As the little guy grows up, you will find more and more secrets in his heart, and sometimes even use lies to prevaricate your concern. That's right. If parents want to communicate with their children, they should first pay attention to creating a harmonious atmosphere. Persuade children, but also pay attention to ways and means, such as: "Xiao Qiang, dad tells you stories about naughty things when dad was your age ..." In this way, the communication between two generations or generations is completed unconsciously, and this kind of confidence can be accepted and understood by children. Create a happy atmosphere for your baby to concentrate on: explain the scenarios and assumptions with rationality 1 You got a promotion today, and you are in a good mood. You want to share this happiness with your 4-year-old daughter: "Of course it's dad. If you are as good as your father in the future, my mother and I will be satisfied! " Unexpectedly, the little guy disagreed: "I will definitely be better than you in the future." In the middle of your smile, you found that your daughter's mouth was high and you were very unhappy. Your daughter helped you wash the dishes today. You are very happy, so you hand her an apple: "Come, this is your mother's reward!" " "But you find that there seems to be some expectation in your daughter's eyes, but you don't know that what she needs is not an apple, but a reward or encouragement. Facts and Results Parents are more and more puzzled about their children, and often when they are happy, they "offend" their children because of a sentence or a trivial matter, which makes them unhappy. Or, you obviously want to make them happy, but you make them cry. Happy words can eliminate children's unhappiness, and sharing happiness with a family can increase family cohesion. However, it is not easy to make happy words interesting and meaningful. That's right. A father was so sleepy when he was reading that he didn't even take off his glasses. After waking up, his daughter asked him why he slept with glasses. My father had a brainwave and said humorously, "Dad is reading in his dreams. He can't see clearly without glasses! " And a mother told her son that "failure is the mother of success" while telling jokes to enlighten him after his son failed in the exam. Interesting answers make children receive beneficial education in a subtle way. There are secrets to communicating with children (2) If you are worried: alternative scenarios and assumptions 1. The teacher talked to you many times because the child's grades plummeted. As the mother of the child, you feel particularly worried, so you say to the child, "You can't go on like this, I'm humiliated. "But my son's grades have dropped even more. The 2.3-year-old son has become a "bully" and won't let anyone touch his toys, snacks and comic books. You know it's not good, but the child is so young and unreasonable that he has to scare him: "Baby, give some of your things to everyone, or his mother will be unhappy!" "Kid, whether you are happy or not, he is still' overbearing'. Facts and results There are many things that children and parents are worried about. How to change the words of worry is a science. Because speaking well can make children get rid of bad habits and get a good mood; If you can't say it well, it will cause the child's rebellious psychology and even become the child's "heart disease." "You should do this. If your child's grades drop, you should first analyze the reasons, and then have a targeted heart-to-heart talk with your child so that he can understand your worries and concerns instead of scolding and reprimanding. If you are a bully, you can let him try to exchange toys and snacks with other children. Once he feels friendship and shares more things and happiness, he will naturally get rid of this bad habit. For some topics that are not suitable for direct face-to-face conversation with children, we can communicate by leaving notes, writing letters, recommending an article to children, and a good book. In short, parents' indirect flexibility can not only express their ideas, but also make them easier for children to accept. In the game, let the baby learn more ways to speak. With the growth of children, the content and way of communication between parents and children are changing, from which we can also see the change of psychological distance between the two generations. For example, when a child is in its infancy, parents talk to themselves emotionally from time to time, and their hearts are full of infinite love. At this time, the parents' mentality is to accept their children unconditionally. When children can run around, most parents have to go back to their workplaces. Due to the double pressure of work and family, parents expect their children to give themselves less trouble. At this stage, some parents' attitudes and tone of communication with their children will change due to different emotions: when they are in a good mood, they talk to their children more gently; When you are in a bad mood, you will blame and reprimand your child for some trivial things; At this stage, when parents communicate with their children, their acceptance of their children is no longer 100%. When a child goes to kindergarten or school, parents are more concerned about his academic performance, and his acceptance is often based on his performance. Parents love to ask their children, "Did you listen to the teacher?" "How many points did you get?" "Does the teacher like you?" Children's academic performance is often a barometer of parents' attitude. The conversation between parents and children is already a conversation between two adults. I wonder what you have learned from reviewing the changes in the way parents talk to their children. In many cases of poor parent-child communication, there is a common feature, that is, during the child's growth, parents talk to him from the perspective of "what should be said to the child", and rarely consider "how to say it, the child will accept it". What is often overlooked is that children's knowledge capacity, psychological characteristics, life experience and social background are undergoing tremendous changes at different ages and are in an increasingly dynamic process. If the content and way parents talk to their children can't keep up with the changes of their children, the result can only be that their children are becoming less and less deaf or "incomprehensible". Children's education is selective, and not all correct and implementable educational contents will be accepted by them. Children only accept the content and methods they are willing to accept. Therefore, it is necessary for parents to study how to talk to their children. There are secrets to communicating with children (3) 9 secrets to communicating with children Turn yourself into a child, walk into his world, and be integrated with him. Therefore, it is very important for parents to have a pure heart. Get along closely with your child and learn his thoughts, preferences and inner needs from his language and behavior. Pay attention to children's reactions and attitudes. When talking to a child, listen to him carefully and understand his thoughts and positions. Feel the child's feelings. When a child is wronged outside and separated from his good friend or beloved pet, his parents just tell him "Never mind, be strong" and "Nothing to be sad about", which will make the child feel that his parents can't understand his feelings at all. If parents can treat their children with sympathy and understanding and comfort their children's families in time, it will have completely different effects. Understand the child's development, don't say things that he doesn't understand, or put forward requirements that he can't meet, which makes him feel hard and stressful. Answer the child's question seriously. When children ask questions, they must first understand their true meaning and answer them according to their needs. For example, a child asks, "Mom, do you want to buy food?" The real meaning of this question may be: "Mom, I want to go shopping with you." If you know the real purpose of a child, you can say, "Yes! Do you want to go together? " The child will be very happy to hear that. Avoid using negative tone such as "I command you …", "I warn you …", "You'd better hurry up …", "You are so stupid" and "You disappoint me so much". Always change new topics to arouse children's interest. For example, "Let me guess what happened to you today?" "If one day, astronauts really come to the earth ..." and other topics, I believe it will be better than "How are you today?" "Are you happy?" More attractive to children. Enrich children's life experiences. The theme of parent-child dialogue often comes from life. Parents can lead their children to observe all kinds of things around them, such as flowers and trees, the colors, shapes and brands of cars on the road, the clothes and conversation contents of pedestrians on the street, and the window of department stores. , can be the material of the conversation.