Chen Hanbai, Mou Yang, Jia Chengbo and other lines.

Prose "Filial Piety" (short story in 2008)

, Liu, Guo

videotape

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Hou Yaohua, the miracle of the prose "Father and Son"

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Hou: Tell everyone about my bitter stomach. People say: Are you still unhappy? You don't know that it is easy for adults to do things now, but you are worried about this child.

You said that when we were young, adults paid tuition and knew how to learn. Now this child, on the whole, is hired by us to read to us. I'm telling the truth, so don't take it personally. Look at our child, who just turned ten this year. I don't know how many nutraceuticals he took. Just ten years old, and now he is as tall as me. They said, I'm going to shave. It's him. If he has a beard, it's me. IQ is ok, IQ, sometimes, occasionally the teacher praises it. The teacher said that it was two days ago. Let's tell a story in one sentence. Just learned a song "Waiting for Life", and our children told this story very well. Our child said that a monkey juggler played with the monkey. He is trained to make money from this monkey every day. As a result, one day the monkey stopped looking and ran away. Looking for this monkey all over the world, but I can't find it. Where did he finally lose it? Find a stool and wait there. Everyone said, stop looking and have a little training. No A knowledgeable person said: As long as you set a goal in life, you will silently "wait for the monkey's life" here. The teacher applauded and praised our children. Prodigy! They all say that our children are prodigies. No, I'm the father. They all call me father.

Our children leave school at noon 12, and none of them come home at 12: 30. In the evening, the teacher asked them to stay after 9 o'clock. Look at this. It's one o'clock. I'm not home yet.

(Qizhi came to power)

H: Go back?

Odd: Hum. .

Look at our children. Our prodigy is back. Come here. . Come here.

Qi: Don't hit me?

H: I won't hit you, I won't hit you. Isn't this 2006? Let's change the constitution, persuade education, come and go, look at this! Do you know the time?

Odd: Yes.

Hou: Why are you late again?

Weird: I made a mistake.

Hou: Forget it, the class is not good.

Odd number: No.

Didn't you finish your homework?

Odd number: No.

Hou: Did you fight with your classmates again?

Odd number: No.

H: What is this for?

Odd number: I just made a small mistake.

Little mistake, what? Say!

Odd: After class, I organized several classmates and detained the teacher in the classroom. I have to ask him, what? I am the last one in my class.

H: I'm not fighting for our children. We are not fighting for our children. Our children know that they have made progress. He knows to ask the teacher why we are the last.

Tell everyone, why are we the last one?

Odd number: The teacher said that he came last in the exam last semester and transferred to another school this year.

The problem is that this is a parent-teacher conference. If I don't go to the parent-teacher conference, how can something happen to him?

Odd: No parent-teacher conference.

H: How can I just do that? I'm your father, why can't I have a parent-teacher meeting?

Strange: It is said that as soon as you have a parent-teacher conference, your neighbors will have a problem.

H: What do you think?

Odd: When I came back, I must have been howling in the middle of the night. The whole Haidian District could hear the voices of mixed doubles. Neighbors called 1 10 and said that our house was crowing in the middle of the night.

Then I'm not doing this for your own good? Besides, hey, I didn't go to the parent-teacher conference. Who did it?

Odd number: I'm afraid you're too busy at work.

H: I know a little about filial piety.

Odd: I spent 50 yuan to hire a body double in the labor market.

H: I'm bored. Does this labor market look like mine?

Qi: Hey hey Dad, as our classmates said, you look easy to find.

H: why?

Odd: The gorilla in the zoo plucks its hair, and that's you!

Very good! I won't talk about it today. Let's talk about yesterday. Why did the teacher keep you yesterday?

Strange: The teacher asked me to fill out a form yesterday.

Yes, I asked your age.

Weird: Hmm.

H: and you? You are very clever. Fill in the form. He won't fill it out. He won't fill it out. I don't know my age. What's going on here? Say it!

Odd: Can you blame me?

H: Why don't I blame you? How old are you? I don't know.

Odd: Blame me me? Blame me? Every time you take me to the sauna, you tell people that I am eight years old.

H: Yes, there is no charge for people under eight!

Odd number: Then I'll go to the nightclub. Why do you call me seventeen?

Nonsense, didn't you see the sign at the door? People under sixteen can't enter nightclubs. The problem is that the teacher asks how old you are, and you have to tell the truth.

Odd: I'm telling the truth. I said, teacher, are you asking me the age when I entered a nightclub or the age when I took a sauna? I'm an eight-year-old sauna and a seventeen-year-old nightclub!

Then tell everyone why the teacher kept you yesterday.

Odd number: Yesterday, the teacher asked a question.

H: Yes, just ask a question.

Qi: Do you think you can ask this question?

H: why?

Qi: He asked who were the two key figures in the incident?

What did you say?/Sorry?

Odd numbers: I said Jacky Cheung and Aaron Kwok. Hit again

Hou: Shame on you, you still say such things in front of these people. Are the two important figures in the Xi incident Jacky Cheung and Aaron Kwok?

Odd number: Who did you say?

H: One is here and the other is here.

Qi: I said dad, and our teacher said, like father, like son.

H: Is that a compliment?

Odd: What do you think of Hou He? The teacher said Yang Hucheng and Zhang Xueliang.

H: Is that two people? I don't understand, so tell everyone that the teacher asked you to make sentences. How did you make them when the truth came out? you said

Pinocchio: I was right. You have to say it.

Hou: How do you, you say, you tell everyone, you let everyone judge, I was wrong, I'll give you a review later.

Odd: I said the truth came out. I said that Uncle Bai next door had two sons named Dabaihe. One day we saw Xiaobai, and everyone said in unison, "You are really like Dabai."

Odd: Call again.

H: You are shameless. Look how much I spent.

Weird: It's always like this.

H: Forget it, just forget it. Sometimes it's ok to write a text or something.

Odd: Not bad? The teacher said he failed.

Hou: You can't even write a festival well?

Odd number: failed!

H: How rich do you think you are this holiday? For example, I get angry when I think about it. I go to this bar and see you three times a week.

Odd number: No.

H: why?

Odd number: I have seen you four times.

H: Maybe it's because I drank too much.

Qi: I just write about holidays. I went to the bar.

H: Didn't I tell you the problem? This bar, stop writing. Can the teacher pass you if you write it out? You turned the bar into a book.

Weird: Did you write a book or let me down?

H: Just read it to everyone.

Qi: I said, come to the book on holiday.

H: that's great.

Odd: First of all, I made three books in a row, but I was not satisfied, so I swept all the rest.

H: What happened?

Strange: At this critical moment, I saw my father coming. He shook himself against the wall and said to me, man, this house is rickety. Is it a little earthquake? I said to him: Dude, it looks familiar.

H: I think he knows him, too

Strange: This is not an earthquake.

H: What's this?

Strange: This is a tsunami.

Never mind, let's continue to study.

Odd numbers: Keep reading.

H: One crab.

Odd: Eight claws, two sharp points, so big. .

Odd: Call again.

H: shameless.

H: You said my money was spent. Is this a child? I was ashamed that day and told me: Dad, I can write poetry.

Odd: I can write poetry.

Hou: Who depends on you when you write poetry? That's also influenced by me.

A few days ago, I visited a friend from Henan. Later, I was afraid that people would not find me. I left him one at home. I wrote a Tang poem: If a friend in Luoyang asks me, tell him that I am in Donglaishun. Come on, read the poems you wrote to everyone, too.

I wrote a poem called, in my heart.

H: ok,

Odd: I carry it.

H: recite.

H: Although I understand.

Odd: Ah!

H: Wait a minute. Well, those who write good poems all take "ah". When there is an "ah" in front, everything goes well in the back. read

Odd: Ah! In my heart

It's good.

Odd: Dad is the fiercest.

Nonsense, that's my father.

Odd: Without knowledge, you can't pretend to understand.

H: Was my family poor when I was a child?

Odd: I failed in the exam and was beaten black and blue.

H: I hate iron not turning into steel.

Odd number: I have a good wish.

H: Tell me about it.

Odd: study hard every day and never stop.

Very good!

Weird: How's the new dad?

H: ok. . No way!