How can we get rid of pessimistic thoughts and live a pessimistic attitude?

So I wrote down your email address. Actually, I am a very insecure girl. I am 25 years old. To tell the truth, I feel inferior and always think of things in a bad way. I always care about what others think of me and my vision. Maybe it's because I don't look positive and optimistic. He looks unhappy all day and doesn't talk much. It is always difficult to start a conversation with others. In daily life, it is always a small thing that bothers me, sometimes making it difficult for me to sleep. Because I have too many things, I don't think optimistically, which leads to ... repressed personality at work. The so-called repressed personality is actually to restrain the true self-expression, so that you always have reason to refuse to express yourself, dare not face yourself squarely, and lock your true self in your heart, which consumes a lot of psychological energy. The repressed personality is due to the overreaction to others' negation or criticism, and at this time, it is often shy to meet strangers; Fear of new and unfamiliar environment; Often feel uncomfortable, worried, anxious and neurotic, nervous and self-conscious; There are "neurological symptoms" such as facial convulsions, unnecessary blinking, trembling, crying when there is a slight setback, unable to find clues to get out of setbacks, and difficulty sleeping. This shows that you are too depressed, too cautious about things and too much "consideration", which limits the display and performance of your personality. We know that the word "people" is composed of a left and a right, which means mutual attraction, interdependence and mutual support. At the same time, the word "people" is composed of long and short, which means that people can rely on each other and complement each other, and stand up by relying on and stepping on shortcomings or wrong steps to become people. In addition, we call all people "people", that is, everyone is similar or similar. From the explanation of the words "person" and "person", we can see that everyone's true self is attractive to others; Everyone needs the support of others, support others; Everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses, which requires interdependence, learn from each other's strengths and restrain their weaknesses; Everyone makes mistakes. When mistakes happen, we need to analyze and summarize, and then stand on the wrong ladder. To sum up, in a word, everyone has an inferiority complex before finding their own strengths. Once we find our own strengths, and then strive for success with hard and unremitting efforts, then our self-confidence will emerge in the process of hard and unremitting efforts. Dong pointed out in Bai Bo Xue that there is one thing in the world that is easy to get and easy to lose, and that is emotion. For example, if you feel happy, you will be happy; You feel pain, you feel pain. The corresponding emotions such as sadness and happiness, tension and relaxation, love and hate, happiness and depression can still be "distributed according to need", and as many as you want. You lose sadness, that is, you gain happiness; Losing tension means relaxing; To lose hate is to gain love; ..... On the psychological emotion, Lu Xiangshan's famous sentence "My heart is the universe, and the universe is my heart" is proof. What does this passage mean? In a word, "Happiness comes from thought". Although the phrase "happiness comes from thought" is simple, it can really make us what we want. If you are preoccupied with others' bad comments on you, then what you see is disgust, contempt and indifference. Of course, the experience of anxiety, tension, distress and pessimism will naturally come to your mind, so there will be "a little thing to get over, or crying at the thought of the bad side"; If you think that others care, love, affirm and respect you, then what you see is the eyes of care, love, appreciation, affirmation and respect. Of course, what you experience is the feeling of happiness, pleasure, joy and love. Think of happiness and you will be happy. Change your mind, and you will change your behavior and experience. It's that simple! Secondly, take stock of your own advantages, even if it is a small advantage, do what you are best at and most interested in, and strive for success; Do things that can be done as easy as blowing off dust, especially helping others; Respect, appreciate, praise others and so on. Gain self-confidence through self-motivation, self-recognition and the encouragement and recognition of others. Third, we should treat the difficulties and obstacles encountered in life, as well as the faces and eyes of others with a normal heart. We know that there are sunny days and full moons, and we will encounter obstacles and difficulties from time to time in our lives, so we should relax our emotions-treat them with the mentality of "being a blessing is not a curse, but a curse cannot be avoided". Use some calm and relaxed sentences to hint at yourself-"I live in a safe environment", "I am happy in this environment" and "everything about me is relaxed and happy", instead of denying or posting some negative comments. At the same time, I use my inner language to motivate myself: "I am great", "I performed well" and "everyone likes me very much". Try to look on the bright side of things, look on the positive side. It is very important to cultivate your own abilities in all aspects, because with abilities, you have the confidence to challenge yourself to success. Fourth, when the brain is always thinking, fidgeting, puzzling and extremely painful, we can use self-stimulation's method to divert our attention. For example, when thinking, find an interesting and attractive book to read, or engage in intense physical labor and forget the painful things. In this way, you can prevent negative emotions from deepening and aggravating due to paranoia, and at the same time, you can enhance your adaptability. Fifth, take the initiative to participate in group activities such as sports and entertainment. With the intensification of physiological function and blood circulation, people's psychology will also be open, which is more conducive to him to vent his bad emotions and of course increase interpersonal communication and harmony. When interpersonal relationships are harmonious, let more people understand and support you, so that you can dilute or eliminate negative views on yourself in harmony and care, or feel nervous and anxious in front of others. Sixth, actively communicate with others. Psychologists' research points out that when individuals are alone, their psychological activities will be transformed into their own interior, and their scope, content and cognition are limited, which will lead to loneliness, anxiety, inferiority and emotionality, and will not be understood by others. Therefore, it is very necessary to care about others and communicate with others actively and healthily. When you are cared for by others, you will feel a warm and safe self-confidence and happiness in your heart. At the same time, the psychology will be purified and the mentality will be balanced. Of course, inferiority complex will be gradually eliminated in healthy communication. Seventh, you should understand that "life is a process of constant injury and self-repair." It is also a process of improving psychological adaptability and maturing in the process of continuous injury and self-repair. A philosopher once said: "The greatness of man lies in his ability to laugh at life and life after the most cruel blow!" In the course of life, contradictions and pains are intertwined, full of pursuits and hardships, full of thorns and bumps. Life is a halo, full of hardships, hardships, hardships and setbacks. Every time we overcome difficulties and setbacks, we will add a bright pearl to our life, and our life will also add many colors. Therefore, I don't know how many hardships and setbacks I have to go through in my life. Only after experiencing difficulties and obstacles can we more appreciate the beauty of life and the beauty of life. Eighth, change the mentality, seize the present opportunity, believe and use your own abilities, and believe that you can control your own life, change your own life, and control your own destiny; Believe that you can control yourself, transform yourself and master your own development path. Pursue your happiness, joy, joy and love with positive actions, and you will get a happy, happy, happy and loving life. Finally, your friend Yang Yonglong wishes you a happy, happy, happy and loving life every day! Miss Yang: Hello! Thank you very much for your letter and your ideological guidance. You're absolutely right. I am caused by psychological depression and self-distrust. There are some things I just don't have the courage to take the first step, so that I give up on my own initiative. For example, when I am doing business, many other salesmen boldly communicate with customers and speak persuasively, even if there are many people around me. I really want to communicate with customers so easily, but I just can't let it go. I am always afraid that if I say something wrong, others will laugh at me, which will lead me to listen to what we are saying when I call my clients, and whether I will be judged as eloquent and unconvincing, which will lead me to be incoherent sometimes and they will laugh at me several times. This also leads to thinking about it every time you are ready to call a customer. Should I call? Many times, I will choose not to call, and when few people call again, or when I am too busy to talk to others, I will quickly pick up the phone and call the customer. Over time, I will be very silent in front of many people who are very interested in talking. I always feel that what they say is difficult for me to answer and out of place. So now I am very introverted, very inactive and don't have many good friends. I can't take things lightly and I don't know how to think optimistically. I also know my personality, and I am not optimistic enough, but I find it difficult to change. Because of the lack of self-discipline, every step is not ideal. I was helpless and didn't take positive action. I can never cheer up and be happy. I also want to be as lively, lovely and outgoing as others, but how to start, and what small things to start with? -Xiaoyan Xiaoyan: Hello! I really appreciate your attitude and behavior of recognizing your own shortcomings and seeking advice. In fact, you have taken the first step to communicate with others-you are communicating with me, hehe, I feel that you are sincere and talkative. When you are in contact with others, just open your mouth and say what you think. As long as you stick to it, you will have more friends, and of course you will express your thoughts and feelings to others and talk about your troubles and happy things. Let me tell you a story: a king intends to test the intelligence and flexibility of death row inmates. One day, he went to his cell and said to all the death row inmates, "If any of you can walk out of this cell leisurely, I will not only let him live, but also give him fertile land." When all the prisoners look at me and I look at you, they shake their heads to show their helplessness. At this moment, a prisoner stood up and walked to the prison gate. He looked left and right, tried it with his hand, and finally grabbed the chain bar that locked the door and pulled it hard. The door was opened at once. It turns out that the cell door is hung by chains. As long as you have the courage to stretch out your hand to pull the chain, the cell door will naturally open. The prisoner in this story is your mouth. First, you have to open it bravely. You know that you "have no sense of shyness when you grow up now", so you should face yourself bravely and confidently, face life and open the door to your heart with your own mouth. Secondly, we should summon up courage to break through ourselves. From now on, take the initiative to treat people around you with a smile and say hello to them. If necessary, you can also help others and send a few words of concern. I believe your sincere efforts will be warmly rewarded. Finally, I would like to give you some suggestions: 1. Look for opportunities and exercise yourself. Don't miss any opportunity to speak, such as discussing topics that parents are interested in at the dinner table, expressing your views boldly and actively, and forming habits over time, you won't be afraid to speak in front of people. Even if you are introverted, you will have one or two good friends, so you will often chat with them. Besides work and life, you can also talk with them about some interesting stories, jokes and humor. Long-term persistence will not only make you cheerful, but also enhance your interpersonal skills. 3. Have a good attitude, love life and cultivate various interests. If you want to sing, sing with your voice. If you want to joke, just open your heart and make a joke. In your spare time, you can also participate in sports and entertainment activities with friends, such as playing ball games and games, which is an excellent means for you to exercise your vitality and communicate. 4. Always have confidence in yourself and encourage yourself with inner language from time to time: "I'm great", "I'm doing well" and "everyone likes me very much". 5. If you can choose the work, try to choose the work that can only be completed by teamwork, actively express your views and opinions on the work, and say what you think is necessary. 6. Take part in some public speaking training, such as speaking, releasing the humor you see and so on. The more you practice, the greater your courage.