Classic funny jokes

1. Panda met a kangaroo who came out of the supermarket angrily and asked, "What's the matter? Angry like this? " The kangaroo gasped and said, "Don't let me in, I have to save the bag first."

A girl came to the classroom and introduced herself. She said I might not be the smartest, the most beautiful and the best? -I may not be the most interesting? Just like all her classmates praised her modesty- -She suddenly said: Hello, my name is Wei.

When I was in junior high school, two classmates (deskmates) cursed each other inexplicably. One scolded the other and said, My deskmate is an idiot! ? The other party is anxious and scolds: Your deskmate is an idiot! ? Next to a group of students stunned for a few seconds, and then burst into laughter.

4. Someone was practicing in a mental hospital, and suddenly a psycho came after him with a kitchen knife. The man turned and ran until he reached a dead end, thinking it was over. The patient said, here's your knife. It's your turn to chase me.

A gentleman caught a cold and went to the hospital for intravenous drip. The nurse quickly inserted the needle into Mr. Wang's body and hung physiological saline. 1 more hours passed, and the normal saline was finished. The nurse came over and put a bottle on at once. The gentleman was puzzled and asked the nurse? Miss, isn't there only one bottle on the prescription? The nurse pointed to the empty bottle cap behind the salt water and said, Sir, you are so lucky. Did this bottle win the lottery? Another bottle!

6. In the evening, my daughter and I watched TV in the living room, and my husband surfed the Internet in the study. I was a little thirsty, but I didn't want to move, so I said, honey, give me a bottle of coke. My husband came out of the study and brought me a bottle and ran back to the study. At this time, the five-year-old daughter also shouted: Dad, I want to drink, too. The husband said impatiently: take it yourself! The daughter paused and shouted, honey, I want to drink, too

7. Xiaoming was not good at math and was transferred to a missionary school by his parents. Six months later, I got straight A's in math. Mom asked:? Do nuns teach well? Is it a good textbook? Is it prayer? . . . ? Neither? Xiao Ming said,? On the first day of school, I saw a person nailed to the plus sign, and I knew it. . . They are serious. ?

One day, one of the questions was to guess the name of a bird by observing its legs. A student really couldn't understand it, so he tore up the paper in a rage and was ready to leave the examination room. The invigilator was very angry and asked him, which class are you in? What's your name? A student lifted his trousers and said, guess, guess.

9. On the road, the traffic police asked a female driver to show her driver's license. The beauty asked what was going on. The traffic police said you pressed the yellow line. The beauty said in a hurry: Oh, it's broken.

10, a boy has a crush on a girl for a long time. One day in the self-study class, the boy finally got up the courage to write a note to the girl, which read: In fact, I have been paying attention to you for a long time. After a while, the note came back, which read: Please don't tell the teacher, I promise I will never eat melon seeds in class again.

1 1. Two cows are eating grass together. The green cow asked the black cow:? Hey! What's the smell of your grass? The black cow said, Strawberry flavor! ? Green cow leaned over, took a bite, and shouted angrily? You lied to me! ? The black cow gave him a contemptuous look and replied:? Idiot, I said grass is tasteless. ?

12, an old man is bored after retirement and teaches parrots to talk every day! You must teach it to say: Good morning! ? But after several months, the parrot still didn't speak. The old man was so depressed that he stopped teaching this morning. At this time, only the parrot shouted to the old man:? Old man! Great day! Don't say hello to me? ! ?

13, there is a couple in the park who are sweet and the girl is coquetry. Honey, I have a toothache? The boy kissed the girl and said, Does it still hurt? The girl said:? The pain is gone? After a while, the girl said coquetry again:? My neck hurts? So the boy kissed the girl's neck again and said, Does it still hurt? The girl said happily: No pain? An old lady saw it and couldn't help saying, young man, you are really amazing. Can you treat hemorrhoids?

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