Why don't I find any jokes funny?

No.65438 +0 gentle response wrong number-

One night in the middle of the night, suddenly in my sleep, the phone suddenly rang. "Who called so late?" Rub your sleepy eyes,

Touch the phone in the dark. -"Hello, who is this?"

"Uncle, it's me."

"Oh, it's you, nephew."

"Uncle, how are you?"

"Very good."

"Is my aunt in good health?"

"Everything is fine."

"Hey? Uncle, how did your voice change? "

"Because you have the wrong number, nephew."

The other party was stunned for 5 seconds, and then there was a blind sound of "DuDu ~ DuDu ~" on the phone.

NO.2 If you meet an impolite person and make a mistake, you will be slightly punished.

One day, the phone rang and I answered it. A girl's voice came from the receiver.

"Hey, find Xiaoli for me." It's all the fault of the "savage girlfriend", and now girls talk like thieves.

"Ah?" My family includes pets, and she didn't find this name.

"I said-I'm looking for-Xiao Li-"The other party was obviously impatient.

Sorry, I think you have the wrong number-I have a good temper and the other person is a lesbian. I want to keep my manners.

"Impossible, you this is not * @ # $ #%? I didn't make a mistake. " Just as I was about to hang up, the sound in the receiver increased by several decibels.

I always feel that my blood is upwelling. You have not dialed the wrong number. Did I get it wrong? I looked around and made sure that this was my home.

"Oh ~ yes, I didn't hear it just now. Sorry. " I used the kindest tone.

"Really, I told you I wouldn't make mistakes." She's still sexy. All right, I'll let you make your own mistakes.

"Who are you?"

"I am a leaf."

"Ah, leaves." I had an epiphany. "Xiaoli has gone abroad."

"ah? I haven't seen her for two months. How did she go abroad? "

"That was a month ago. She called yesterday and said that she bought a laptop for a friend named Ye Zi. I don't know the address and I can't send it. "

"Are you .. are you? I am a leaf, how can I contact her? " I vaguely heard the voice of drooling from the other end of the phone.

"Do you remember *&; ^%$#&； *(& amp； *% "I quickly checked the contact list of world-famous enterprises and randomly picked a phone number in the southern hemisphere for her.

Third, it is wrong to do so.

One day, the power went out at home, and I picked up the phone in all kinds of boredom, but no one answered my friend's phone. Put the phone down, I'm tired of walking around the room. Just then, the phone rang. I almost jumped to the phone.

"Hello, hello." It is rare to use "hello" when answering the phone at home, which shows the excitement of meeting the rain after a long drought.

"Hello, this is China Netcom Customer Service Center." The girl's sweet voice.

"Ah, well, that's all right."

"ah? What did you say, sir? "

"Uh .. didn't say anything. What can I do for you? " Obviously, I am a little overexcited.

"I want to pay a return visit to the use of broadband in your home. Excuse me? "

"Don't bother, of course not, don't bother too much." At this time, the other party must think that I have a mental problem, or I have taken too many stimulants.

"Do you feel that your home network speed is fast?"

"Well, I can't say what is fast."

"You can visit our website, where there is a broadband area. There are free movies. "

"Ah, I have been there." More than 500 movies can be watched online for free.

"How do you feel?"

"The film is older." I'm sorry to say.

"(The other person can't help laughing and quickly returns to normal tone) I mean, how do you feel about the speed? Have you stopped?"

"Ah, well, all right. I just paused while watching "Magic Stars". "

"Really? Is the pause long? "

"About thirty minutes."

"ah? No way. " She still doesn't believe it. "Why did it stop for so long? Did it collapse? "

"It didn't crash. After I cancel the pause, I will continue to play. "

"ah? Have you stopped by yourself? "

"Yes, what's the matter, I have something to go out, can you pause? Then you didn't say it. " I am really wronged.

"... (On the phone, the other party whispered to a colleague for a tissue to wipe the sweat) No ~ it's okay, you can pause, as long as you like. "

Then he asked, "Are there any other questions?"

"Let me see .. by the way, I can't download the song" I do "sung by Faye Wong. I like Faye Wong's songs best. They have unique tastes. Do you like them? " I really like Faye Wong.

"Me?"

"How did you say she divorced Dou Wei? I like both their songs very much. For example .. "I said more than 30 songs by Faye Wong and Dou Wei in one breath. Speaking of fun, I also sang a few words. It is estimated that there are more than 20 minutes, and the other party is a little overwhelmed.

"Sir, your singing is good, but I'm at work, listen to not bottom go to. It's a pity. "

"Oh, yes, you are working. Oh, look, I forgot. Which unit are you from? "

"Net .. Netcom Customer Service Center." The voice on the phone choked me.

"Oh .. netcom. Why did you call me? "

The voice just fell and I only listened to the phone. 1, and then I heard many people calling her name anxiously. ..

Give him what he deserves.

I have a lot of complaints about Netcom's telephone information desk. Every time you dial this number, the computer will instruct you to press this key and that key. It is often necessary to press a dozen or twenty times to check the phone bill. In the end, there will often be a silent ending like "the system is busy, dial later". I am determined to retaliate, and at the same time let the people who have caused these troubles personally feel the distress of consumers.

Today, the opportunity came. The caller ID is the number that Netcom manually urges to pay the phone bill.

"Hello. I am in the call center of Netcom. "

"Hello. This is the * * home. "

"I want to inform .."

"Now start the voice transmission system." I didn't wait for her to finish, and continued to speak in a mechanical voice. "If you need the host to answer, please shout (1). If the hostess answers, please shout (2) If the young host answers, please shout (3) If the puppy answers too much, please shout (Wang) If * * makes a mistake, please shout (return)." As soon as the voice fell, I heard the woman over there excitedly calling her colleagues and talking about "this mobile phone is advanced enough."

"Three." Later, the telephone came the timid voice of the female operator.

"I'm sorry, the young master you selected can't talk to you for the time being because he is under one year old. Please leave your phone number and call you back as soon as the young master learns to speak. "

"ah? .. return. " After listening to my introduction again, the other party chose "two"

"I'm sorry, the hostess is not at home. If you are not used to talking to dogs, please choose.

(1) "I'm a little angry. I still can't choose me.

"one." The tone of the other party is somewhat helpless.

"Welcome to talk with the host. Please shout loudly in business conversation (1) in private conversation (2) in others (3) * * If you make a mistake, please shout loudly (return) "

"Three! ! "The other party is obviously impatient and loud.

"I'm sorry, the burning smell comes from the pot in the kitchen. Please hang up and dial later. ...