Why do boys always owe money when they are in love?

Every boy is very poor after falling in love

That day, when I saw my salary was paid, I asked my boyfriend how much he had saved this month. Unexpectedly, he said: "I have to pay off the credit card, and there may be nothing left." I asked: "How come you owe the credit card?" He did not answer directly, but was as brave as ever: "Anyway, I will pay it off myself."

I know that once people say the word "anyway", it is difficult to communicate. So we quickly dropped the subject and made up. As for the debt on his credit card, I never took the initiative to mention it again. Until one lunch break, I heard a colleague say: "I have no money recently. I just rented a house with my girlfriend and I borrowed it." Another person answered: "As expected, every boy is very poor after falling in love."

I know this is just a joke, but it reminds me of a lot of things from the past. When I first rented an apartment with my boyfriend, I had not yet graduated and I only had a few hundred yuan in royalties. But I wasn't anxious at all, because my boyfriend, who was one year older than me, took on most of the problems.

He took care of everything for me, including the two-to-one rent, date expenses, and the Surface Pro for work. Thinking of this, I guiltily asked him: "The debt you owe on your credit card was for renting a house and buying a computer, right?" He first replied: "Yes, otherwise I wouldn't have had so much money at that time." But the next step I retracted it within seconds and replaced it with: "It's okay, I'll pay it back soon anyway." Only then did I realize that boys also retract messages. The reason for withdrawing may be that he just wants to make his efforts look "easy" in front of important people.

Secondly, I didn’t quite understand his thoughts at the time, so I did a stupid thing and directly exposed him and said, “I’ve seen everything you retracted.” “Why didn’t you tell me earlier? I have a salary now, so I can help you pay it back." I said very confidently, thinking that what he needed most at the moment was my active sharing as his girlfriend.

But this only made him reply more stubbornly: "No need." These three words, spoken from the mouth of the person closest to me, are very disappointing. I even wondered if he refused my help because he didn't like it. But with this little bit of "doubt", I slowly realized a possibility: boys' "showing off" might be just like girls' "suspiciousness", which is a sign of insecurity.

It’s just that girls are used to testing each other’s persistence by “pushing away” again and again. Boys, on the other hand, are more willing to prove their worthiness by "hard work" again and again.

3. But if you "hold on" for a long time, there will always be a day when you lose strength. Especially in the past two months, the industry has been affected by the epidemic, and many companies have lowered wages. My boyfriend realized that the situation was not very optimistic, so he asked himself: "Do you think your life has become better after you are with me?" I was stunned for a second, and my mind flashed back to when we first confirmed our relationship. , he also lowered his head, scratched his hair, and asked similar questions.

What he asked at the time was: "Do you think you are happier after being with me?" Unexpectedly, in just one year, what he cared about changed from "Are you happier?" ” became “ Could life be better?” It was as if there was a hand pushing him from behind, towards a reality that he didn't need to touch so quickly.

And the reason why I feel guilty is because I have inadvertently exerted a force on him and asked him: "Have you ever thought about our future?" But in fact, those who kept silent Regardless of the boys in the future, they all have a ruler in their hearts. Calculate clearly how much you can bear, how much you give, and how much you let go. Only at this time will they be afraid that they really won't be able to provide for themselves in the future, and start to slowly replace "being brave" with "reason".

In this process, what they need most is not my initial answer to him: "Yes, life is getting better after I am with you." But what I added later. That sentence: "Even if you don't get better, it's not your problem alone." Finally, I heard many people say that "trying to be strong" is just a sign of "not being strong enough". But when I get along with my boyfriend, I have a deeper feeling: many people's "excessiveness" has nothing to do with their own abilities, it is more like an innate personality.

This kind of character makes them willing to sacrifice their own happiness in order to gain the peace of mind of those around them. For this reason, I specifically asked my boyfriend: "When you are brave, what do you most want me to do for you?" He thought for a while and said, "It seems that just trusting me is enough." Because as long as a person is believed, Then everything he has endured will have meaning. Good night.