Five people are happy to post sketch scripts.

Performance: Feng Gong Zhou Jun

Liu's folks, folks, young and old, gentlemen, I'm Fat Liu. I wish you all a happy new year. I just made friends with you, okay? It's not bad that I parked his broken bread on the road. If you can stop on the railway, I'll call him now. From his appearance, you can know what incomplete human evolution is. Come on, big skull and small neck.

Feng Guang only eats and doesn't work. I miss many relatives. You asked me what happened. I met a road killer. You must make a decision for me. I wish Geely Jetta a sunny life in the Year of the Monkey. All the famous cars are made in China. All the old people are ladies of Fukang Changan, all the beautiful children are urban Beibei gentlemen, and all the China bullets.

Liu Hey, what's this air conditioner for?

Feng, who installed the air conditioner?

Liu doesn't install air conditioning, so why don't you bring an electrician?

Feng, what do you think of this electrician's bag? It's called a seat belt. Put it on. The police uncle won't punish you, idiot.

Liu, cut the crap. Your father didn't join the Young Pioneers when I went to driving school.

Feng, you haven't graduated. How many times do you have to go to work? Typical learning talents.

Liu, look at you. How do you look like Feng Gong?

Feng is not as beautiful as you. what do you think? He looks like a toilet.

Liu, you go to the toilet How can you stand here like a president?

Feng, that's right. The president just caught that guy and always stabbed him when he broke his mouth.

Li Aiya loves Ya.

Feng, whose pet has run away?

Lee, it's you two. Get out of the way 12: 00. I want to negotiate with foreign businessmen. If you get out of the way, it doesn't matter. If you don't let me.

Where's Feng?

Li, I'll wait a little longer (the phone rings). I can't support myself. The road was blocked by two crabs. what did you say ? Ha ha ha ha.

Feng is broken. This guy is crazy.

Actually, Liu, I am more anxious than him. Can't I pay you back?

Feng 20,000

Liu 20

Feng treats you so well for 20 yuan, and you treat me like a beggar for 25 yuan less. Who cares if you do it or not? Who knows how to feed?

Liu, I'm the one who wants to see you later.

Hello, Feng En.

Liu, I cut a thin-necked car.

Zhen Feng Yes, my car was hit by a chopping block.

Liu Roudun hit your car. Are you okay?

Feng, it's okay. It's just a big hole in the car. You cut the thin-necked car, throw 20 yuan and run.

Liu Can T. That boy quit before he said he was 25.

Feng is also a great-grandson.

Two people laugh.

Liu and I were accidentally injured.

Feng, it's okay. The United States and Britain sometimes lose themselves. Let's leave now.

Lee, stop. Why?

Feng, let's help you move the car.

Lee, that's not necessary. The plane will be delayed and the negotiations will be cancelled. You two can keep fighting. Remember, the brave win the narrow road.

Why did Feng still persuade us to fight? Who's in charge when we're black and blue?

Li, I'm in charge. I have a very good partner. He is a famous veterinarian.

Feng, we don't want to trouble your personal doctor.

Zhu, what's wrong with you? What's wrong with you? This is a favor, okay? Today, when you get married, you can let your favorite car go first. Don't you know me? My famous program host

Feng ao ao ao I don't watch TV.

Zhu, why don't you watch TV?

Li, he seems to be looking for his own kind.

Zhu, why on earth did you do this?

Li, I can't tell you what happened.

Zhu Na, you say.

Feng's story goes like this: the fat man drives a small sleeping car and I drive a small broken car. The fat man's little sleeping car ran into my little broken car, so I dodged. The fat man who drives a sleeping car lost my broken car. He won't lose my broken car. I must let this fat man lose my broken car. What are you running for?

Zhu, what do you do?

Feng, I sell watering cans.

Hey, guys, today is my wedding day. Who do you think my husband is? Everyone said I should slap him.

Everyone should draw lots.

Zhou, let's give him a golden glow. You've been hanging out for a long time. I tell you, my grandmother said that the wedding must be held before 12, and it will be unlucky after 12.

Zhu, those are the old rules.

Zhou, my grandmother is over 80 years old. Does she have a new one? Besides, filial piety is first of all obedient.

Zhu, did you marry it or did your grandmother marry it?

Feng nonsense whether her grandmother wants to marry or not. Is it her turn to get married? Our family doesn't like it when you say that. How can we be a family?

I don't care who Zhu's family really comes. I can't believe you can't kill me.

Feng alas alas!

Brother Zhu

Feng, don't move. The world is full of gold.

Zhu, this slap should be mine.

Feng, as long as she is happy, who is not happy?

I won't get married this week.

Feng, stop. I tell you, a savage girlfriend won't get married by taxi. You can get in any car you want.

The other three, alas

Feng, alas, what? The happiness of people's lives has been ruined by you two.

Hey, Li, why are you knocking on the rake? Can this car be blocked without quarreling?

Liu, if you hadn't stopped the fight, would you have been arguing until now?

Li, he won't leave early if you don't make a big hole in his car.

Feng talks nonsense. Did he cut that big hole It was like this when he bought it.

Brother Liu, today is mainly because of me. Wouldn't it be okay if I admitted my mistake earlier?

Lee still depends on me. If I hadn't been fooling around with him, this road would have been opened long ago.

Feng, stop it. It's all my fault. I'm sorry for anyone.

Liu, don't be sad.

Can Feng not be sad? I quarreled with you. I don't know which garbage collector moved my seat for a while. I have to squat down and drive the car back.

For Li Lai, the important thing is how to arrange the wedding.

Feng got married on the road.

Xiongnu in Lu Jie, Mary

Good idea, Liu. Let all the cars whistle for them.

Li asked you to let all the pedestrians applaud and bless.

Feng Hao presided over the wedding. I will take good care of the leaders and friends. We've been looking forward to it for a long time.

Forget it, Liu didn't bring so many umbrellas.

Li's wedding is very important. How can it rain artificially?

Zhu: Yes, as long as it's not this watering can, anyone can find it.

Zhou can find anyone. People get married professionally. Why should we be amateurs? I tell you, I can make do with anything today, but this wedding host is absolutely not.

Where can I find a professional now?

Cho, I don't care

Zhu, don't care about her.

Feng, she doesn't care about me, and neither do I. Aren't you a professional host? We talked for a long time and rode the donkey to find it.

Zhu, who shall I invite as the groom?

Feng, the groom has plenty of masters. There is only one handsome guy here. Who can't marry for you?

Zhu, I disagree.

I agree with Zhou. In any case, this is a temporary substitute. As long as I can get married before 12 and make my grandmother happy, I really don't care who is standing next to me.

Aunt Zhu, the key is who can replace me as the groom.

Cho, just that, just that watering can.

Zhu, I would never do that.

Zhou ni

I was wrong when Zhu would come back, wasn't I, brother? I beg you, marry my wife.

Brother Feng, I beg you, too. If my daughter-in-law knows about this, she will cook me.

Zhu, if you don't agree, I will kneel for you.

Feng Biejie, what can I do if you say such a thing?

Everyone has the ability.

Feng, for your sake, I can only eat yabakui today, but I won't go after I go back to the bridal chamber.

Zhu, don't worry. If you really leave, I'll kill you, too.

Oh, Liu, stop nagging. What time is it now?

Let's start the ceremony.

Zhu, yes, yes, yes, distinguished guests and friends, I announce.

Feng, give me that flower later.

Ladies and gentlemen, Zhu, it's 1 1: 58, and I announce the wedding of my daughter-in-law and this gentleman. Why am I so awkward?

Please, bride and groom, pray to heaven, wish us a good weather in China, worship the earth, wish our family a bumper harvest, worship our parents, and wish our loved ones happiness and well-being. Finally.

Feng, stop worshipping. This is a group wedding. Come here quickly. Finally, husband and wife. We wish the couple a hundred years of happiness. Finally, dear friends, at this exciting moment, I really want to say from the heart, as long as you and I give way, how wonderful and happy life is, brother. I'd better get my car seat back.

Five senses strive for success

Hey, let me tell you something. I had a dream last night, my dream! Strangely, I dreamed of my five senses, from ...

B yo! Head.

A: Ah.

B haha! Ha ha!

A hello, hello!

Do you still know me?

A I dare not admit it! What's your name, please

My last name is Eye.

Last name ... what last name?

The second surname is eye.

A hundred surnames have your surname?

B, the first one is.

Which sentence?

Yi Qian Sun Zhao's "eye".

I've never heard of one! Zhao Gan Sun's "Eye"? Qiansun Zhao Li!

B, Wu Zhou "eyes"!

Zheng of history.

B's eyes of Chu.

First, no pestle! Aren't you afraid of blindness?

B no, I ...

What's your name?

My name is Eye.

An eye?

Oh, yes!

Oh, you mean this man has a vision? Huh?

B Then what's your character's name?

Don't touch it!

B No, I'm just asking.

A is damaged. Where can I go for this part?

What do you call this?

These are my eyes.

B I is your eye.

You are my eyes?

Right, right, right.

My eyes look like hairtail? What are you doing here?

I haven't seen you for days. I miss you so much. Let me see you.

Ouch! Thank you. Please find a place to sit down and watch.

B. sit down and watch.

I will continue my dream.

Yo-ho! There you are.

A, why is there another one?

Hello, C. Do you still know me?

You asked me the same question? I dare not admit it.

C: Oh, it was really the flood that washed the Longwang Temple, and people didn't recognize them!

A May I know your name?

My last name is nose.

First, the surname ... why is this surname so awkward? Nose, do you have a surname in Baijia?

C yes.

Which sentence?

C dried Sun Zhao's "nose".

A, go! Never heard of it! Zhao's "Thousand Suneyes"! Ahem! "Sun eyes turn" he said! What's your name?

Fuck me and call me nose.

Nails, nose.

I am your nose.

A is broken! My nose also fell off. What are you doing here?

I haven't seen you for days. I miss you so much that I'll come and smell you.

Smell me! Let's go, let's go. Stop smelling it! Sit there, sit there.

C: Hey, haha.

A: My dream!

Ding Yo-ho!

A, why is there another one? Hello, hello!

Ding, there you are. Do you still know me?

Why does A ask me these questions? I dare not admit it!

Ding, you really have a window on the roof-no one can recognize you!

Who is this, please?

Ding, I am your ear!

My ears are here, too

Ding is coming down!

Yo, what are you doing here?

I haven't seen you for days. I miss you so much. I'm here to listen to you.

Listen to me? You sit here and listen! This dream of mine,

Whoo-hoo! There you are.

A.

Do you still know me?

Hey! Why is this guy so energetic?

I know you, aren't you Zhao Yan?

e！ No ..... Where is my Zhao Yan?

Aren't you Zhao Yan?

Take another good look.

What does A think ... I don't know.

What happened to your eyes?

A: My eyes are resting there!

Me, my last name is mouth.

Taishikou? What's your name?

Shut up!

Your name is Zuzui?

E has never heard of it!

a mouth ...

E's outrageous! My last name is mouth, my name is mouth, my full name is mouth, and I am your mouth.

Oh! Are you my mouth?

Not bad.

A: I have a rich mouth.

What a glutton!

What are you doing here?

I haven't seen you for days. I miss you. I want to bite you.

Ah ... you treat me like a sheep's head?

E, make out!

Is it so affectionate? What are your five senses doing here?

E I won't congratulate you!

This is C. Congratulations!

Ding, congratulations on your achievements!

Congratulations on your honor.

What honor do I have? Do you congratulate me so much?

c？ Don't you get it?

A: What's the matter?

Not long ago, you were rated as a top comedian.

First, there is this thing.

Hey!

Ding, I heard!

What did A hear?

Ding, you also won such a big prize.

Look at my ears.

B also paid so many bonuses.

Did you get a look at him?

B at 3: 30 in the evening, you should stop counting.

Who counted it?

No, the point is that you have the honor. We want to ask: how did you get this honor?

Turn it off.

A, it's still my mouth that can talk How did you get this honor?

Turn it off.

The correct leadership of a superior, the support of peers, the enthusiastic help of the audience, and my personal efforts.

B what about me?

C: What about me?

Ding, what about me?

What about me?

A is broken! This is not enough honor. We'll get four points. What's in your way!

Huh?

C ungrateful.

Ding, kick down the ladder

B hit the monk after reading the scriptures.

Scold the cook when you are full.

Where there is so much nonsense!

I can tell you, brain! Your great honor has a lot to do with the functions of our five senses.

The five senses have their own functions.

Tell me, whose role is bigger?

Ding who is the head of the five senses?

Who should make the first contribution?

Who will win the first prize?

A: How do you think I can answer this question? These five senses are all over my head and are an organic whole! Who comes first? Who got the first bonus? I can't see the difference!

C nonsense!

Ding licentious!

B unreasonable!

Hold on!

Boss c! I can tell you that you became the number one comedian because of my nose.

What does A have to do with your nose?

C is so appropriate!

Tell me!

Think about it, my nose is the only breathing organ in your head. It breathes and inhales more than ten thousand times a day. If I don't work one day, you won't be able to stand it.

Answer yes! Your nose is responsible for ventilation. Why don't you work?

C we won't talk about it during the day, nor at night.

What happened at night?

C, your old man fell asleep in bed.

Take a break!

C, your eyes are closed! Your mouth is shut! My ears are resting!

A: Yes.

C: Oh, just let my nose work the night shift alone? The factory says three shifts! Even if you let me rest for an eighth.

A: After a rest, I'll go into shock. Can we take a break?

Besides, since you are so old, when have you ever left my nose?

A that's true. I have this thing since I was born, and it is original.

Besides, my nose is still the olfactory organ on your head.

What do you call a sense of smell?

C: Well, with my nose, you can smell what is fragrant and what is smelly.

A needs my nose to smell.

C hey. Without my nose.

Answer?

C said rudely, you are hungry!

How about a?

C, you go to the bathroom

One, go back. What am I doing there?

Can't you smell it?

Ok, ok, your nose is very important!

C is very important. Then I have to ask you: since my nose is so important, why didn't you mention the contribution of my nose when you spoke at the comedian's award ceremony?

A Then how can I mention it? What I think is: comrades! My nose is the main reason for judging me as a comedian. You don't have to give me a banner, just hang it on my nose ... can you hang this thing?

Anyway, you have to reconsider the treatment of my nose.

Nails and nose are very important.

B nonsense!

Hey, what's wrong with you!

What's the matter? His nose is important, but my eyes are not?

I didn't mean that.

My eyes are more important than my nose.

What about a?

B Your intelligence can only be reflected in me.

A: Ah, yes! People say so. Ma Ji is very clever, isn't he? So smart, smart in those watery ... little eyes.

B You use me to communicate with the audience, and you use me to express your emotions. Excuse me, can you learn culture and knowledge without my eyes? Can you express your feelings without my eyes? Hmm? Can you see the world without my eyes? Hmm? Without me

Eyes ... mmm!

A what's wrong?

B that's it. I have to worry about your marriage.

A: Are these eyes worried about my marriage? What happened?

What's the matter? When you two first met, didn't I make eyes at her? Boss! I also tell you that I have seen everything you have done from falling in love to getting married.

Look into my evil eyes.

B If you are not nice to me, I will tell you everything. Comrades, I said it for the first time today.

Don't! Your eyes are very important. I can't live without you.

By the way, who gives you directions after work every day?

A: Yes, I can't live without these eyes.

B yes!

C nothing, nothing! You can still go home without eyes.

A no. How can I find my way without eyes?

Hey, C, smell it with my nose. Let's go home!

I have a dog nose? Does it make sense?

B no, no! You don't know ... just be nice to me, and I will definitely repay you.

How can A repay me?

B, if you do bad things again, I'll turn a blind eye.

Did I do something bad?

B My eyes are very important.

Ding nonsense!

What's the matter with you?

I heard what Ding said just now!

Yes, you thief. What can't you hear?

What did Ding say? Eyes are very important. Is my ear dispensable?

I didn't say that.

Ding, this ear of mine is the information organization on your head.

Information agency?

Ding relies on my ears to send you information, but not my ears? Can you hear what music is? What is singing? What is singing opera? "Wang! Woof! Wang! " What is this?

I can hear this!

What's Ding?

This is a dog barking.

D: Yes, but for my ears, do you think your uncle is a singer?

A, go! How can you talk?

What other reports, lectures, conversations and music that Ding listened to from childhood left my ears?

-Hey, hey! Right, right! Ears are very important.

Ding, let's not talk about it. Even when you were in love, you never left my ear.

Why did you bring this up? What do I have to do with your ears?

Ding yo! You always kiss each other and reveal your love to each other. What do you depend on?

A by what? It's the mouth that expresses it.

What is Ding's mouth saying? ..... What are you talking about?

A didn't hear it.

Ding is! With my sensitive ears, you will hear clearly.

What does a mean?

Ding, she said! Look out, my love is in the back!

Ah ... Does it make sense? Is my third party involved?

Ding, I listen to you anyway.

A Well, my ears are good for me.

But what about you, Ding?

Me?

Ding, you treat us as third, sixth and ninth class. How do you treat them?

A treats them equally!

Ding is equally treated? You like eyes, give him a color change mirror and let him boast!

Is this bragging? Wear glasses to protect your eyesight.

Ding, put the mask on your nose and mouth.

A Yes, talk about hygiene.

Ding put a scarf around her neck.

Yes, pay attention to your voice.

Ding put a hat on his head.

You look energetic in a hat.

Ding, what ears did you buy me?

A: Well, I really haven't bought anything for this ear.

It doesn't matter if Ding doesn't buy it, but you shouldn't put a mask belt and glasses on my ears.

A: You said that he still felt wronged for such a trivial matter.

Ding is wronged! There is one thing you are most sorry for me.

Oh? What's the matter with you?

Ding, our ears are already very close. You must let us live apart for a long time!

That thing ..... Apart from two ears, it's not selling!

Don't worry, Ding. Make it clear that you must say ...

C, stop crying! Endless. Why are you crying?

What bothered you when he was wronged?

C, I don't care where he wronged me. You let everyone see, so soon, he pulled my nose red!

A, stop pulling! I am not happy!

Ding, do you think my ears are important?

A is very important! I can't live without you.

E nonsense!

A: What's the matter?

I didn't say you, I said him! I heard everything he said.

I heard you.

E's outrageous!

A yes.

They call it honor. It doesn't make sense. We are a whole.

A: Yes.

E, you have honor in your head, and everyone has a share.

Look how well I speak!

How can I win honor for myself? People who really have merit never strive for merit.

A man with merit does not strive for merit!

When do you think I had a fight?

Are you fighting for it now?

Haha, do I have to argue?

A: Aren't you going to argue?

What am I?

A: You are a mouth!

My mouth is the most important thing to you.

A what's so important?

E I don't need to speak, so I'll listen to your cross talk. Say it!

Where can I tell you?

E is still here! How's my mouth?

A: Yes, yes.

You have to rely on my mouth to smoke a cigarette.

A picked up the ear and slapped it. Do you have to go in?

You have to drink some wine from my mouth.

A: Yes, yes.

You have to eat from my mouth.

A lean on your mouth!

If you lie, you must rely on my mouth.

Ah ... Did I lie?

My mouth is very important anyway.

A mouth is really important.

At Wu Xiaoxing's appraisal meeting, the judges made it clear.

What did A say?

To say that you have a glib tongue is to praise my good mouth.

A: Yes, yes.

E said that you enunciate clearly, which is also a compliment to my mouth.

A has the same mouth.

E said that your mouth is slippery, which is also a compliment.

A: Yes.

Stop talking about it. Even if you are dating your lover, you have never left my mouth.

Why did you bring this up?

How fresh is Pentecox? Don't you use my mouth when talking to your lover?

Okay, okay.

E, can you whisper something to your lover and don't use my mouth?

Yes, use your mouth!

(e) Tell your lover that you mean it, and don't use my mouth?

A: Yes ... Use your mouth!

E, you make out with your lover ...

One, don't ... stop! Be kind.

How's my mouth?

Okay, okay, I can't leave your mouth.

C me, quit!

Ding me, please take home leave!

B me, transfer!

A what's wrong? What's going on now?

What do you think of my nose after I work hard? Huh? Your head is tilted, and you face that mouth.

What did I do to him?

C hey! Get something delicious, delicious, chicken, duck, fish, delicacies, orange soda, cream popsicles, and you put them in that mouth!

I put it in your nose. Can you digest?

E come on. Nose. No matter how delicious he is, I haven't even touched my mouth. Let you smell it first! Aren't you satisfied?

c？ Let me smell it first. Why are you salivating there?

E nonsense! If you want to catch a cold or catch a cold, I have to put up with these pants for you.

Stop it! You two are delicious and spicy, and my eyes are greedy. What is wrong with me?

Ding is right! I don't see it yet.

A, come on! There's nothing between you two, here.

C, it's all in my mouth!

E come on. You just saw me eat spicy food and drink spicy food! Which of you has disaster, illness, pain, wine and medicine, and it's all in my mouth? what did i say?

D: Yes, this earring is still stuck in my ear!

E: Yes! It hurts your ears, and I have to smile bitterly.

Yes, I have to squeeze out tears when you laugh.

Then my nose hurts. Who did I piss off?

Uh, not bad.

Let me ask you, when you were smoking, why did you hit my nose with that cigarette?

E nonsense! You are already addicted to cigarettes, and I didn't ask you for money for cigarettes.

Is there a charge for cigarettes?

Mm-hmm.

C: I haven't asked you for the road maintenance fee.

Second.

Come on, eyes, you're great! They bought you a 20-inch color TV. Who can see it?

Ding said well! Great!

And your ears. The stereo they spent thousands of dollars on is yours. Can we hear it?

Okay, okay.

C, look, it's all good.

The most irritating thing is your nose. You are really good!

C: what's wrong with me?

You stand in the middle and we are all around you. You are still not satisfied. If you catch a cold today, catch a cold tomorrow, or get sinusitis the day after tomorrow, you can use his hand to be lazy, and your nose will flow into my mouth. You can treat me like a spittoon!

C I'll ask you again!

Ask what?

Is it the mouth's responsibility that the disease comes from the mouth and the disaster comes from the mouth?

A is your problem.

Well, how can you say that your nose is insensitive and indifferent?

A: Yes.

You have a glib tongue. That's your mouth.

E come on. Ears! You only listen to one thing and don't listen to another. That's your problem.

B cloud mountain fog cover, rumor, who is talking!

E, your eyes are ok! Then you got the pink eye in the society.

A ok! Ladies and gentlemen, with such a small honor, they are fighting alone.

I have a problem with you, Brian.

A has a problem with me.

Hey hey hey.

A what's wrong?

Why do you put my mouth at the bottom?

Yes, it is designed like this.

You have to move my position up.

How to adjust the method?

E, I must have a long mouth with your head on it.

Does this mouth grow here? Aren't you afraid of saving water when it rains?

E I got the highest score in the exam!

Boss c! I have a problem with you.

A What's your opinion?

C I can't be with them, I want to stand on the highest peak.

A ok! He grew up here too?

Boss b! I am farsighted, and I request an upward adjustment.

A You're up, too!

Colonel Ding! My ears have to grow on your head, too.

Long ears ... I am a rabbit!

That's it, ok, see you up there!

Stop it! What are you doing? The five senses are all on my head, and you have to listen to me! The five senses have different division of labor. You should support each other, help each other and unite to do something. Just like you did, emphasize your importance, don't.

You! Let's go Let's go Let's leave now. Let's go

A, come back! Come back!

Why did the clock come back?

I figured it out.

Crowd.

Have you all left?

Crowd?

My head is a duck egg!

Everybody!

The score is really a little low. .....