Campus inspirational funny sketch script

There were no thieves on National Day (there was no robbery on National Day this year).

Character: A- Wang Xiaoer, a young rascal.

B fatty, junior high school student

C- officer

Time: one afternoon

Location: A park.

A, a cigarette in his mouth.

A: Ah, bah. Recently, China International Robbery Association compiled a document called "To welcome the National Day and the 17th National Congress", and decided not to rob during the National Day in 2007. It also made a slogan: No robbery this National Day. It's really his grandfather's depression. People's national day subsidies, we thieves do not rob. I lost all my money playing mahjong today, even my girlfriend. Fortunately, I caught a fat man last time, and I'm going to give him a good beating this time. I can't (put out the cigarette), I have to guard against him (hide behind the chair).

B. depression.

B: Oh, why do you think I'm so unlucky? Last time I was caught by a gangster, I was squeezed 200 yuan anyway. This time he called my house again and said politely.

Nail connection

A: Sorry, your protection fee has expired. For your normal life and safety, please renew the fee as soon as possible. Fat man! (B turns around, no one is found, A comes out from behind the chair) I'm calling you, fatty. What did you just say about me?

Oh, it's boss Wang. Why is he hiding under the chair?

Boss, I just robbed a bank. (Take out a cigarette and let B light it)

Robbed a bank (surprisingly).

Boss, that's a small business. I have been to the northwest before!

B: Northwest China.

A: I won't talk nonsense with you. Where is the money?

B: (looking for money everywhere) Boss, I really have no money!

A: No money? How dare you grow so fat without money?

B: No, I'm not a genetic mutation!

A: (Cough) Gene mutation?

B: Right, right.

All right, I'll give you another chance. I'll count to ten now. As long as you get out of my sight, I don't want money.

Ok, that's settled. (do preparatory work)

Ready, go, two, four, six, eight, ten (from slow to fast).

[B has a helpless face.

A: There is nothing to say (take out a piece of paper). Please sign. (b signature) read!

B: I lost to 250 yuan, the second child in the bet. What I said is groundless, which is proved by written evidence.

A: (Cell phone rings) What? I'm telling you, I'll never play mahjong again in my life. What, Xiaoli will go, too, okay, huh? Another hour? Well, then, pull like this! Pay here in half an hour, understand?

Boss, I really am.

A: (turning around) Don't snitch. I'm the biggest snitch. Last time, a boy dared to snitch. Guess what?

B: What?

A: Oh, that's too bad. I killed four people in their family and two dogs! I won't talk nonsense with you (end)

B: Finished ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

[C，

C: Now they all say "building a harmonious society". As a community policeman, it is my duty to help each other when the road is rough, to do justice for heaven, to eliminate violence and to keep peace. (Hearing B crying) Are you lost, little friend?

You just got lost!

Did you fail the exam?

There is no exam today.

Then why are you crying? Did someone bully you?

I just like crying. Do you care? You're not a COP!

What a coincidence! I am a policeman.

Oh, my God! It's really "there are all kinds of birds when the Woods are big", and you dare to pretend to be the people's police in broad daylight!

C: I am really tired.

B: Fake police.

C: (takes out his ID) Is this true? (pulls out handcuffs) There's nothing to say about this. Go ahead, what is it?

Me, yes (hesitating)

C: Will you say it or not? Don't say I can go!

Someone robbed me.

C: rob money or sex?

B: Rob money, of course. What a beautiful expression.

C: What does he look like?

B: He, are you really a policeman? Why don't you wear a police uniform?

C: After work, of course, there is no police uniform.

Are the police still working after work?

C: You are so wordy! What does he look like?

B: He, he is so tall (than gesture) and so strong (than gesture). The first time he asked me for 50 yuan, the second time he asked for 150 yuan. This time he wants 250 yuan, but I really have no money this time.

C: When will he come to withdraw the money?

B: Half an hour. People will come soon.

C: I'll catch him as soon as he appears, won't it be over?

No, I can’t . If I don't catch him and let him go, I'm finished. He did everything!

C: What did he do?

B: Robbing banks, burning and looting, everywhere you go, nothing grows! I heard that I also stayed in the northwest!

He is still a diehard. Tell you what, you seduce him to rob you first, and then I'll catch him, and that's it!

All right, I'm throwing caution to the wind. I can't, I can't. If he finds out, I'm really finished. He has killed four people and two dogs!

What are you afraid of? I practiced.

B: Have you ever practiced Tianma Meteor Boxing?

C: No.

B: Have you ever practiced shadowless feet in Foshan?

C: No.

Well, at least you have seen the sunflower series.

Are you talkative? People will come later.

B: people can play.

[b tried to run, but c caught him.

What are you afraid of? I am here.

B: (trembling) No.

[A and C hide behind the chair.

B: (patting the shoulder) Xiao Wang, you pull.

A: (handfuls of b) You can't pull it, Xiao Wang. Did you order it, too

B: Old boss.

Where is the money?

Boss, I really am.

Yes (staring at B)

I have money (I gave A two dollars).

Two dollars, you're kidding! I am a very sensible rascal, and I pay back my debts.

Boss, the People's Bank of China is closed on National Day today, so we can't get any money.

Don't give me that. ATMs don't have holidays. If you don't take out the money, I'll kill you.

B: Ah, bah, Wang Er, don't be too insulting. I fight with you today. (looking back, C is not here) Oh, my God, someone died.

Don't run, boy. If you can't be killed, I will write Wang Zi backwards.

[c stands out from behind the chair, and b hides behind C.

C: Don't move. I'm a policeman. (A turns and runs, and C runs to subdue A) I heard that you also robbed a bank.

I have osteoporosis.

C: (KaKa) I heard that I have also been in the northwest.

A: I didn't respond to the call of the state to support the northwest!

C: I heard that four people and two dogs were killed.

I was bluffing.

B: How about robbing a bank?

If I rob a bank, do I still need your money?

C: We still understand what you mean. As for how many years you will stay in it, it depends on the degree of your explanation.

A: I said, I said everything. I am Wang Xiaoer, male, unmarried, age 17, and my horoscope is ominous.

B: Then you are not much older than me!

A: I ate too many hormones!

C: It seems that you don't want to go out too early.

B: Yes, sentence him to life, no, death, with a two-year suspension.

A: (I'm going to faint) I'm still young (I'm going to kneel)

C: (holding up a) It's not that serious.

C: (point b) Are you a policeman or am I a policeman?

B: Of course, you are the real people's police, innocent and genuine.

Captain: Then listen, what are you babbling about?

B: Don't I just want him to stay there for two more years?

A: Son of a bitch, you are poisonous enough. My king is where he is today. You are also responsible.

Oh, and bite back.

C: Don't interrupt, let him go on.

If it weren't for your weakness, I would have succeeded many times.

Are you saying that I led you astray?

If you resist a little, maybe I'll stop. I didn't expect your boy to be a real man. Just scare him and you'll get it.

C: That's right. You said you were fat. Why are you so timid?

B: Wrong. I have been a Buddhist since I was a child, and ants have never killed a few.

C: Don't be garrulous. After all, it's your responsibility.

B: I'm the victim!

C: If you didn't quit your job and get killed yourself, you would encourage his attitude (nails, nails, chest out). What are you doing? Encourage his arrogance.

What should I do?

C: Of course, with the help of teachers or parents, we will never compromise.

A: Yes, never compromise.

B: Never compromise. Let's leave now.

A: Where to?

C and B: Public Security Bureau.