Please leave a joke that you think is funniest.

According to your wishes, I reflected in the study for one hour, forty-three minutes and seven seconds, drank a cup of boiled water, went to the toilet once and didn't smoke. The above facts are accurate, please check.

Attach my review report, and the improper part can be negotiated.

After three months of married life, I think my wife is gentle, virtuous, diligent and intelligent, and she is a rare good wife. As a husband, I am eccentric and frivolous, and what I have done is really debatable.

The following is my analysis of my bad behavior, please have a look at the leaders:

1. I was wrong about yesterday. Although the braised eggplant you made is a little salty, it is mellow and delicious, and its flaws are not hidden. I shouldn't accuse you of wasting salt. I'm so demanding and accusing, I'm totally jealous. But adding some water is ok.

When you said you liked Lu Yi, I shouldn't have said I liked Liang Yongqi, which caused you to ignore me for two days, which was extremely painful. I think my answer is really inappropriate, because your playboy is still confined to the mainland, but I rushed to Hong Kong and Taiwan. I prefer Zhou Xun.

You like watching Little Ge Zheng in Korean dramas, so I shouldn't try my best to stop it. When you compare me with him, I shouldn't protest, because Ge Zheng Jr. didn't protest.

4. Saturday's wedding, I said I have a meeting, and I don't know if I can go. You have prepared two red envelopes, one is 100 and the other is 200. As a result, I didn't go, and you accidentally sent a thick one. Honey, I shouldn't laugh at you. You are doing very well. If I were you, I might send them both together.

Last time you bought yellow croaker, I shouldn't pretend to be a chef. As a result, you cheered when you helped to cook, drooled when you smelled it, and depressed when you ate it, which was unbearable for your fragile mind.

6. Do you cut your hair short and ask me if it looks good? I said it looked good and you were happy. Further verification, I said OK; If you say hello, my answer is not as good as before, which makes you sad. This is my fault. In the future, such replies will be subject to the first time.

7. You met many excellent friends online. At one time, Hongyan passed books and jade photos flew all over the sky. I shouldn't have attacked you with newspaper reports. But the picture of you in a white skirt really doesn't look good. You'd better wear the one with the high collar. I'm the bodyguard next to you, and I look awesome.

When you visit your nephew, come back and discuss with me who should wash diapers. I really shouldn't pass the buck and make you angry. But honey, this task is too far away. Let's discuss who will be responsible for fertility. Who was born in their family?

9. When you accused me of leaving my socks lying around, I shouldn't accuse you of leaving books lying around. After all, socks stink and are scholarly.

10. When you invited Cher to McDonald's, I shouldn't secretly kick her under the table to make you furious, but she stepped on so many shoes, why didn't you care?

1 1. When you say that I am not as beautiful as you, I shouldn't stubbornly deny it. You're right, the evidence is conclusive, and the blind can testify.

12. I came back from taking out the garbage downstairs. You walked around me several times and asked me how many cigarettes I smoked. You were angry when I said one. Honey, I didn't know your nose was so sensitive. Actually, I smoked two.

You have always been an understanding girl. I hope you can forgive me and give me a chance to turn over a new leaf. For the sake of family stability and economic prosperity, by the way, a few small suggestions:

1. Don't point to the handsome guy on TV and say that he looks like your ex-boyfriend. The first time you approached a man at close range was at the sophomore dance, and you stepped on someone's foot in a panic. Unfortunately, it was me.

When shopping, don't always have whimsy, such as buying a shredder to make garlic paste. Don't you think my machine is more economical?

When eating, you always think I eat less, but when taking pictures, you think I am fat. Honey, this is really embarrassing for me.

Don't give me some tricky questions, saying it's a brain teaser and confusing my logic.

Don't tell me jokes or laugh when I watch a gunfight movie.

Please ask your wife about the above. Friendly reminder: There were spiders in the dormitory yesterday. If you need an escort, please contact the combined sofa in the west leisure area of the living room 1 to serve you wholeheartedly.