A set of cold jokes

1. Taking my seven-year-old son shopping, he took a fancy to a brand-name dress and insisted on buying it.

I said:? It's too expensive for us to buy. ?

The son pursed his lips. We have a lot of money on our card. How can we not afford a suit? ?

I explained:? That's for you to buy a house and marry a wife. ?

The son pouted and said, you are lying. ?

I sincerely said: son, I really didn't lie to you. ?

The son confidently retorted:? Then let me ask you, who is my wife? When did she say that she wanted a house? ?

My daughter is two and a half years old. I taught her to brush her teeth, starting with gargling, but I couldn't teach her anything. My daughter always swallows the water in her mouth, and when she sees a glass of water, it's gone. I want to teach it again. . .

My daughter patted her belly and said to me:? Dad, you brush, I don't brush, I'm full?

Today, I was playing games in the Internet cafe, and a child's phone rang. Speaking of which, I'm making up lessons at my teacher's house. I shouted: webmaster, bring a pack of cigarettes.

After a while, my wife called, but the child shouted: Boss, check out on 3 18! ! !

Damn it, children are not easy to mess with.

4. A female colleague has a very naughty son. Angry, she often said that it would be nice to have a girl.

One day, the little boy danced around the room in her skirt. When she saw her mother, she shouted, Mom, look, did you give birth to a girl or me? . .

My son loved KFC when he was four years old. In order not to make his son infatuated with KFC, he took him to eat for a week. Now I want to throw up when I see KFC. . .

Just as I was about to applaud my wit, my son said, Dad, let's go to McDonald's. . .

6. A college student. On the first day of freshman year, one of my high school classmates said that her sister had been admitted to our school and asked me to accept it.

I received my sister, and the first thing she said to me was: Senior, I have someone I like. . .

Shit, I messed around for three seconds, and then I said, don't worry, junior, I won't rob you. . .

7. I didn't like studying in junior high school, and I played mobile phones in class.

My deskmate, a sister, watched while I was playing with my mobile phone. The teacher saw us hanging our heads in class and asked me, What are you doing?

I said, my pants are unzipped. Let's see if it can zip up.

Then the teacher asked my deskmate: What were you looking at when he zipped up?

Then that girl never talked to me again. . .

8. The study room is very cold in winter. A boy who is studying hard turns to a girl next to him and says, Sister, can you give me some electricity? According to Joule's law, electric energy can be converted into heat energy. ?

Without saying anything, the girl slapped her in the past: smelly rascal! ?

Burying his face, he said in surprise, Gao! Kinetic energy is converted into heat energy! How warm it is! ?

9. Today, my roommate asked me: Why don't you play basketball when you are so tall? ?

I said nothing, and then I said, you won't ask me why I'm so short that I don't sell baked wheat cakes. ?

My brother just said simply:? Do you still want to sleep with Pan Jinlian? ?

10, at the beginning of September, freshmen jumped off a building, and the news caused a shock in the whole college. Many students showed strong mood swings when they heard about it.

A senior talked angrily about this matter: Jumping off a building in freshman year is really too cheap for this boy. ?