Begging for a campus comedy sketch with more than 10 people

Funny "Mo Gong"

Characters: Zi Tuan, Liang Wang, Niu Zizhang, Gongzi, Ge Li, Yi Yue (female), Xiang Yanzhong, Wei Xiang, behind-the-scenes voice

Section 1:

Zi Tuan: Report... Your Majesty, what's wrong, the State of Zhao has sent a hundred thousand troops passing through here, preparing to invade our country!

King Liang: One hundred thousand troops! ? Don't panic, everyone. Do you think we are afraid of them because there are so many people? (To Niu Zi Zhang) General Niu, prepare the fastest horse for me. I’ll leave first!

Niu Zizhang: Your Majesty, I think we should surrender!

King Liang: Surrender! ! Is this my style?

Niu Zi Zhang: Yes!

Liang Wang: Then surrender!

Young Master: Father, how can we surrender in Liangcheng without a fight!

Liang Wang: Okay, then it’s up to you. If you can’t win, then surrender!

Niu Zizhang: Your Majesty, our Liangcheng will definitely suffer heavy losses!

Prince Liang: Hasn’t the Mohist family sent anyone to help?

Zi Tuan: Report... Your Majesty, the Mohist family is asking for an audience.

Liang Wang: Xuan

Zi Tuan: Xuan Ge Li’s audience

Playing the music "Athletes' March", Liang Wang and Ge Li shook hands cordially, and Zi Tuan was there for him Taking photos

Young Master doing live reporting

Young Master: Today, the national leader Liang Wang cordially met with the Mohist representative Ge Li in the city. The two sides negotiated on the recent increase in pork prices and signed the " Regarding the decision not to eat pork during the period of rising pork prices, please read our on-site report.

King Liang: The Zhao army is pressing forward. How can you retreat?

Geli: As long as the king is willing to hand over the military power of the entire city to Geli, Geli will have his own plan to retreat.

King Liang: Is the military power of the whole city handed over to you? ! fart!

Ge Li: Yes!

Prince Liang: (holding his nose) You really just let it go!

Ge Li: I, Lord Yangyang, am based on integrity.

Liang Wang: Well said! good! I will hand over the military power to you, Zi Tuan, and your bow and arrow battalion will obey the orders of Mr. Geli from now on.

Zituan: Yes!

Liang Wang: Yiyue, your... prostitute army...

Yiyue: Your Majesty, it is the Ji army!

Liang Wang: Yes! Also returned to Geli's command

Yiyue: Yes!

Ge Li: Thank you, Your Majesty!

Zituan: Your Majesty, this is not good! Zhao Jun is here!

Section 2:

Xiang Yanzhong: (arrogantly stabbing Wei Xiang’s butt with a sword and asking) What is this place?

Micro details: Report back to the general, this is the slave’s ass.

Xiang Yanzhong: Nonsense, I’m asking you where this place is!

Weixiang: Back to the general, this is Liangcheng!

Xiang Yanzhong: OK! Attack immediately!

Ge Li: Bold, who is coming?

The lane is flooded: General Zhao Guo’s lane is flooded! Haven’t asked for advice yet?

Ge Li: Mohist Ge Li.

Xiang Yanzhong: I’m going to teach you your brilliant move (holding fists)

Ge Li: Just you? I can kick you out with just one slap, please teach me! (Holding fists)

Young Master: Audience friends! The siege has begun! Players from both sides are ready!

Ge Li and Xiang Yanzhong played "cockfighting" with their legs crossed. Suddenly Zi Tuan shoveled the alley and hit him in the back.

Young Master: The referee blew the whistle for shoveling someone from behind!

Yiyue blew the whistle and took out the red card and sent Xiang Yanzhong off. (Wearing a "Fake A" sign)

Master: Red card! Red card! Red card! Ge Li has made a meritorious service! Ge Li has made a meritorious service! Don't give Xiang Yanzhong any chance. The great Mohist messenger! He inherited the glorious tradition of Mohism.

Mozi, Mo Shaocong, and Cuttlefish are possessed by their souls at this moment. Ge Li represents the long history and tradition of the Mohist family. At this moment, he is not fighting alone, he is not alone!

Xiang Yanzhong: Why? It was he who shoveled me! Black whistle!

Yiyue: Didn’t you see that my whistle is black?

Master: A player is injured!

Xiang Yanzhong: Lift me down quickly!

Weixiang: Yes!

Weixiang dragged Xiang Yanzhong’s legs, and Xiang Yanzhong climbed off the stage with his hands on the ground.

Section 3:

Young Master: Retreat! The war is over! Liang Cheng won the victory and eliminated Zhao Jun. They did not fall in front of the army in Xiangyanzhong again, the great Liangcheng, the great Liangcheng! Happy birthday to Geli on whatever day he is born! Long live the Mo family! ! !

Ge Li posed as a commemorative sculpture. Young Master, Zi Tuan, and Yi Yue all looked in admiration and walked slowly towards Ge Li, singing "For Whom" in unison (lyrics: Mud covered trouser legs, The back of my clothes is soaked with sweat, I don’t know who you are, but I know who you are for, who you are, for whom, my comrade, when will you return, who are you for whom, my brothers and sisters do not shed tears,... )

Amidst the singing, Yiyue recited: The motherland will never forget, the people will never forget, your heroic deeds will always inspire us...

Young Master, Zi Tuan, Yiyue and the others placed their right hands across their chests and their left hands diagonally behind their backs, chanting in unison: Forward.

Yiyue: Mr. Geli, this is a basket of eggs sent to you by the people in the city.

Zituan: Mr. Geli, this is the second basket of eggs given to you by the people in the city.

Young Master: Mr. Ge Li, this is the third basket of eggs given to you by the people in the city...

Ge Li: (interrupting) The third basket of eggs.

Young Master: No, who said it was an egg again!

Ge Li: That is?

Young Master: Duck eggs.

Ge Li: I understand the people's wishes, but our Mo family never accepts gifts.

Three people: (singing and dancing) The Mo family won’t accept gifts this year, no gifts, no gifts! Gifts will only be accepted in cash.

Ge Li: (sneering) Cash! Is this what you think is the Mohist spirit? ! Do you think that the Mohist belief in love without aggression, peace and friendship, can be measured in money? (Turning gently) How much is this?

Yi Yue: Mr. Ge Li, let alone money, I am willing to give my life to you even if you want people. I am a pacesetter who can surpass the March 8th Red Flag Bearer!

Section 4:

Niu Zizhang: Your Majesty, now that Geli has won the hearts of the people, we must eradicate him, otherwise the reputation of your Majesty will be endangered!

Liang Wang: What! Family planning is our country’s basic national policy, and he dares to endanger it!

Niu Zizhang: (close to King Liang’s ear, loudly) Kill him!

Liang Wang: I understand!

Niu Zizhang: (close to King Liang’s ear, loudly) Keep your voice down, don’t let him hear it!

Liang Wang: (Pushing close to Wu Zi Zhang’s ear, loudly) Okay, let’s keep the voice down.

Young Master: Father, why do you want to kill General Ge Li?

Niu Zizhang: He is inciting people's hearts and intends to rebel.

Young Master: Niu Zi Zhang! I think you have ulterior motives and are plotting evil! I really want to spit shit in your face!

Liang Wang: There is no need to say anything, Wang. We will let Ge Li and Niu Zizhang compete here today! The winner is made a general, the loser is executed on the spot.

Niu Zizhang and Ge Li stood together. The background music is the sound effects of Lucky 52.

Liang Wang: Niu Zi Zhang, please listen to the question. I would like to ask: Are there trees on Changbai Mountain?

Niu Zi Zhang: Yes!

Liang Wang: The answer is correct! Plus ten points! (High-five with Niu Zizhang) Ge Li, please listen to the question. Excuse me, how many trees are there in Changbai Mountain?

Ge Li: This... Your Majesty, Ge Li can’t count.

King Liang: Wrong answer!

Young Master: Father, even General Niu may not be able to answer this question!

Liang Wang: Niu Zizhang, how many trees are there on Changbai Mountain?

Niu Zizhang: Report back to the king, there are many!

Liang Wang: The answer is correct! Add ten more points.

Then let me ask Niu Zizhang, is there an audience in the audience?

Niu Zi Zhang: Yes!

King Liang: The answer is correct! Plus ten points! Geli! How many viewers are there in the audience?

Ge Li: (joyfully) A lot!

Liang Wang: Please tell their names respectively.

Ge Li: This...

Liang Wang: Here comes someone! Pull Ge Li down to watch "The Night Banquet".

Niu Zizhang: Your Majesty, this is too cheap for him!

Liang Wang: Okay, then give him "The Promise" instead!

Niu Zi Zhang: Yes!

Ge Li: Your Majesty, I beg to die.

Liang Wang: (Think about it) Okay, I promise you, someone will come and drag him down to watch "The Promise" until he dies!

Young Master: Father, let me kill this despicable guy with my own hands!

The young master drew his sword and stabbed Ge Li.

Young Master: (to Ge Li) Hold me hostage! Just tell me not to come here, or you will kill me!

Ge Li: Don’t come over here, or you’ll kill me!

Young Master: I’m not telling you to commit suicide, but I’m pretending to kill me!

Ge Li: Oh, don’t come over, or I will pretend to kill him!

Young Master: No, don’t say you are pretending to kill me, you are really going to kill me!

Ge Li: Oh! (Stabs the young master in the chest with a knife) I really want to kill him!

Young Master: You... don’t mean to really kill me, you just pretend to kill me!

Ge Li: Oh, (pulled out the knife) I was pretending to kill him!

Young Master: You... don’t pretend to kill me, kill me for real!

Ge Li: Oh! (Stabs the young master in the chest with another knife) I really want to kill him!

Young Master: You...I don’t want you to really kill me, I want you to pretend to kill me!

Ge Li: (pushing the young master away) Your grandma is a bear! Should I kill you or not?

Young Master: (Sighing to the sky) Oh my God! You kill me! Kill me!

The words just fell! There was thunder and lightning, and a knife fell from the sky and killed the young master.

Young Master: (Groans before dying) Oh my God! I asked you to pretend to kill me, not to actually kill me! (Death)

An old voice came from the sky: Your grandma is a bear! Should I kill you or not?

Prince Liang: Prince! My prince! How could you leave your elderly father behind and die like this! Oh my God! If you want to kill, just kill me!

Thunder is rolling, lightning is flashing...

Liang Wang: (Shocked) Oh my God! I'm kidding! (Bow) Sorry, sorry!

An old voice came from the sky: Your grandma is a bear! (The thunder gradually subsided)

King Liang: Where is Geli? ! I'm going to cut him into pieces!

Niu Zizhang: Report to the King, Ge Li has escaped!

Prince Liang: Waste! A bunch of trash! Oh my God! Punish these wastes!

Zituan, Niu Zizhang, and Yiyue all knelt down and wailed: Oh my God! Don't believe him, he is joking!

Prince Liang: Why don’t you chase me now!

Niu Zi Zhang: Yes!

Section 5:

Yiyue raised her head and remained still.

Prince Liang: Yiyue, what are you doing?

Yiyue: (singing) I’m looking up! Above the moon, how many...

Liang Wang: Stop singing! If you sing again I'll slit your throat! Niu Zi Zhang!

Niu Zizhang: The end is here!

Prince Liang: Slit her throat!

Niu Zi Zhang: Yes!

Yiyue hurriedly protected her throat, and Niu Zizhang cut Yiyue's waist with a knife.

Yiyue: Hey! Can you show some professionalism? The king is asking you to cut my throat

Niu Zizhang: (comes closer to Yiyue’s ear, louder) Shhh! Keep your voice down, I don't know where your throat is!

Yi Yue: (pointing to Wu Zi Zhang’s throat) This place is the throat!

Niu Zi Zhang: Oh! (Putting a knife to his neck) Is this it? I know, wait, how do you cut it?

Yiyue: Why are you so stupid! Come, I'll teach you, (hold the knife to your neck) Get ready!

The two of them cut it at the same time.

King Liang: General Niu, have you been cut?

Niu Zizhang: (asking Yiyue) I...are...broken. Are you...broken?

Yi Yue: Broken... Broken...

Niu Zizhang: Oh (to King Liang)... Broken... Broken!

The two fell down at the same time.

Section 6:

Xiang Yanzhong: Haha, let’s see where you run away this time!

Liang Wang: (Shocked) Lane Yanzhong! I haven’t seen him for a few days. He is quite handsome.

Xiang Yanzhong: Take it.

Weixiang: Yes

Zituan: Let’s rush out.

Ge Li: No, let them taste the power of my Sichuan Tang Sect’s unique hidden weapon! (Pulls out a huge gear from behind)

Zituan: Such an obvious hidden weapon!

Ge Li: Nonsense, it’s not obvious. Where can I find it after I throw it out? You don’t know how expensive concealed weapons are nowadays! (Aiming at Xiang Yanzhong) Look at the hidden weapon!

Xiang Yanzhong: Be careful! There is a hidden weapon!

Weixiang: Huh? (In panic, he was hit by the "hidden weapon" thrown towards him, that is, a gear, and turned to the alley in depression) You liar!

Xiang Yanzhong: Brother! Don't blame me, I didn't expect such a big hidden weapon! (Putting a knife on King Liang's neck, facing Zi Tuan) Don't come over here, or I'll kill him!

Zituan: Let him go, or you won’t blame me for being rude! I'll kill you with one punch!

As soon as he finished speaking, Zituan was knocked down by Xiang Yanzhong.

Zituan: (stands up unsteadily) Just wait, when my head is not so dizzy, don’t blame me for being rude! I'll kick you to death!

As soon as he finished speaking, Zi Tuan was kicked down by Xiang Yanzhong.

Zituan: (Standing up more staggeringly) Just wait, as long as I don’t faint, I will kill you with one knife!

As soon as he finished speaking, Xiang Yanzhong pulled out his knife...

Zituan: Wait! (Falls to the ground immediately) I'm dizzy, dizzy, dizzy.

Ge Li: Xiang Yanzhong, how dare you come back!

Xiang Yanzhong: (Tossing his hair) Use Rejoice, you are so confident!

Ge Li: I remember Liefu’s stripper once said: Today is Today! Tomorrow is Tomorrow...

Xiang Yanzhong: Please speak Chinese, I haven’t passed CET-4 yet!

Ge Li: What! Haven’t passed Level 4 yet! Then you still dare to attack the city!

Xiang Yanzhong: Stop talking nonsense and take action!

Ge Li: (Holding fists) Please give me some advice.

The background music was high and mysterious, and the two Feng Xu Yufeng were circling around with their moves in a serious manner. Then suddenly they rushed together crazily and started fighting, biting their ears, grabbing their hair, spitting... They were so embarrassed that they finally separated. He grabbed Xiang Yanzhong's ear with one hand, and Xiang Yanzhong screamed in defeat.

Xiang Yanzhong: Brother Ge is indeed very powerful and unfathomable in martial arts.

Ge Li: Accepted! (One sect’s master tries to figure it out)

Xiang Yanzhong: Let’s go

Ge Li: Wait, I’ll see you off. (Singing) I send you away thousands of miles away, you are silent and black and white, the silent age may not be the time, a love that is too far away.

Xiang Yanzhong: (Singing) You send me away from the end of the world, are you still there, where does the sound of the piano come from, life and death are hard to guess, spend your whole life waiting.

Ge Li and Xiang Yanzhong held hands and expressed affection.

Voice behind the scenes: Where did you two come from?

Ge Li and Xiang Yanzhong: Brokeback Mountain. During the roll call at the beginning of the school term, a class teacher came up with an original idea and said to the students: "I'm going to read out my student number. You can tell me your name so that we all know each other, okay?" "No. 001!" A girl stood up and said: "Teacher, I am My surname is Zhang Dekai." "No. 002!" "Teacher, I am Zhang Dekai's twin brother. My name is Zhang Bukai." "It's my dad. He's a salesman. Pliers." The teacher quickly drank some water. "No. 003!" "Report to the teacher, my surname is Ou (the character is pronounced "Ou") and my name is Ou Ye (oh yeah). This is the name my mother gave me. She said that when she gave birth to me, she just blew up one. Computer games." The teacher's heart felt a little uncomfortable. "No. 004!" "Teacher, Mei Liangliang!" "Why are you swearing?!" "No! Teacher, I mean my surname is Mei, and my name is Mei Liangliang. My father wanted me to have a conscience, so I gave him this name. "The teacher took a pill. No. 005! "Teacher, my surname is Gou, and my name is Goubuli." " "Your father runs a bun shop, right?" ! "Teacher, you are so smart!" "The teacher was already a little unsteady. "No. 006! "My surname is Kuai (pronounce it quickly and pronounce it in the third tone). My name is Kuai Huo." "Don't tell me that your father runs a warehouse." "Teacher, you are so old-fashioned. My dad is a pimp." " Blood oozed from the corners of the teacher's mouth. "No. 007! "Teacher, go to hell!" " "What? What did you say? ! "I mean my surname is Ni, and my name is Ni going to the temple." My mother is a Buddhist. My name is interesting, right? "Interesting, interesting." "The teacher was about to cry. "No. 008! "Teacher, I'll tell you next time." "Why do you have to say it next time? You say it now!" "No!" Teacher, my surname is Xia, and my name is Xia Huishuo. My father is a storyteller. "The teacher was already feeling dizzy. "No. 009! "Teacher, my surname is Gao, and my name is Gao Wan." "My surname is Wu, and my name is Wu Qing." "My surname is Mao, and my name is Mao Rongrong." "..." The teacher looked up to the sky and roared: "Oh my God, what kind of students did I meet!" "The teacher spit out blood and fell to the ground. The Chang'an County Magistrate's original collaborative sketch "Recruitment Scam" helps you see through all kinds of recruitment scams!

Facing the severe employment situation in 2010, it satirizes the current situation of deception in corporate recruitment!

There is a large poster next to the boss's desk, with a picture of a South China tiger in the background, and it says: Do you have "ambition" to be the "master"? Want to be a "boss"? Ma's International is the "platform", "space", and "Jiangnan" for you to reach the top of your life! The internationally renowned beauty technology group is recruiting a number of planners and designers. Full-time undergraduate degree or above is required. The following are two. 1 medal, "Supreme Beauty Award" and "Integrity Pilot Unit"

Cai: Chairman Ma, it's bad, our Ma's whitening agent has been investigated and punished by the industrial and commercial administration as a substandard product, and it is being publicized online.

Ma: What the hell? Don’t panic. Also, how many times have I told you to call me Chairman in front of others and uncle in the office? I thought the toilet was leaking again.

Cai: Uncle, what should I do?

Ma: Change the name, redesign the packaging, and do a promotion for the Chinese New Year. (Look at the advertising poster) Let’s call it Tiger Whitening Essence!

Cai: How to promote it?

Ma: Where are you recruiting?

Cai: I have an interview in the afternoon, and I have done it at a Fortune 500 company.

Ma: Then give him some blank paper and ask him to write a plan of more than 3,000 words.

(Fan) (above)

Fan: It’s so hard to find a job these days. I sent out more than 180 resumes online some time ago and only received 8 interview calls. Three of them came uninvited. They all claimed to be international financial groups. , issue credit cards, sell insurance, and illegally speculate in foreign exchange. Recently, there are none at all. I thought my phone was broken and I called my number several times a day.

When the economic crisis comes, the ranks of liars and thieves also expand. You also have to be wary of those who cheat money through recruitment, and don't go to anyone who collects money. Keep an eye on your bag, hold on to your money, and don’t let anyone take your phone and run away!

(SMS ringtone) Thank you for applying for the advertising planning position of Ma Enterprises International Group. Please come to the 18th floor of the International Building at 2 pm today for an interview.

Fan: This text message was sent very timely. I called you yesterday.

Cai: Hello, Ma International.

Fan: Hello, I’m here for an interview.

Cai: That's right. We have some test questions. You can do them first. After answering, here is an article about the media’s interview with our chairman. You should read it carefully. Then our chairman will conduct an interview in person.

(After reading the thick newspaper clipping)

Cai: Have you finished reading? Please come this way.

Ma: I read your plan and I really didn’t expect it.

Fan: Didn’t expect that? I didn’t expect it to be good or bad?

Ma: Now that you understand what I mean, am I still the boss?

Ma: Let me introduce the company first. The Mars Group is headquartered in Los Angeles, USA. It entered China in 1998 and established the Mars Future Laboratory Company in 2002, dedicated to life sciences, genetic engineering and health and beauty research. Our strategy is to establish 5 branches in the United States and Japan in 3-5 years, 15 branches in China in 3-5 years, and 88 core franchisees to provide professional services to global users. In such a rapid development process, talents are our greatest desire. I always believe that the most valuable minute is the minute invested in employees. Buffett said that life is like a snowball, the important thing is to find the long slope. I believe that Ma International is the longest slope on the road to success for you young people.

Fan: It’s a climb.

Ma: This is our company’s honorary medal for integrity. throughout the province. . .

Fan: Wait, I’m sorry, Chairman, is the “test” of the integrity trial unit wrong? It should be the "show" of expression.

Ma: Really? Oh, maybe like you, there is a trial period after coming here. The brand was just bought, no, it was just a few days ago. What are your strengths?

Fan: Planning.

Ma: Do you know that 4 trillion? There are so many zeros after 4, how many zeros can you plan for us?

Fan: Those are all major national projects, so they probably won’t work.

Ma: Ma International’s sales this year will exceed 800 million, and our goal is to become one of the world’s top 500 companies within five years! As a business leader, I entered the ranking list, but I haven’t been on the ranking list for many years.

Fan: Forbes?

Ma: That’s it. The company has entered the countdown to listing! To what Spartacus in the United States, here are the photos from our 2000-day countdown celebration.

Fan: Nasdaq?

Ma: Yes, enter Nasdaq.

Fan: Wait, how many years does 2,000 days make?

Ma: Forget it, we want everyone on earth to know that Ma International is going to be listed. (Take out a broken gong) Look, the gongs for the opening of the market are all ready.

(Bringing the gong to read) Fan: Does it look familiar? A monkey trick?

(The plan is given to Cai) Ma: For those who apply for design, let them make a design draft according to the planning plan, and then check whether his ideas are correct. It's a mule or a horse, take it out for a walk.

Ma: Test your observation skills. What would you say if, if, you had a huge fortune that you couldn't explain clearly?

Fan: What else? I’m a real estate speculator.

Ma: Test your reaction ability. If there was a Shenba spacecraft parked outside the window right now, would you go in? If it could go anywhere, where would you ask it to take you?

Fan: Of course! Where to go? Los Angeles?

Ma: Ma International is well-known in Los Angeles. After leaving the airport, I told the taxi driver to go directly to Ma Mansion.

Ma: Let’s test your judgment again. You take the elevator up, and there is a diamond of different sizes at the door of the elevator on each floor from the first floor to the tenth floor. The elevator door will open once on each floor, and you can only get the diamond once. How can you get the biggest one?

Fan: If you think it’s too big, just take it as soon as possible. What if the elevator breaks down? What if there is a power outage?

Ma: When you answer questions in the interview, you must pause for 2 seconds to make sure you understand what I mean.

Cai: What do your last two questions mean?

Ma: It doesn’t mean anything. I just want him to go back in a daze.

Ma: Do you have any questions?

Fan: What is the company’s annual leave like?

Ma: Annual leave? New Year's holiday? certainly.

Cai: He is talking about paid annual leave.

Ma: Paid? Not working? I have never received such a request for leave from an employee. Across our city, don’t you know that people work on Saturdays?

Fan: How was the contract signed?

Ma: One sign per year, with a probation period of half a year.

Fan: The law stipulates that for a one-year contract, the probation period cannot exceed 2 months.

Cai: According to the new labor law, the probation period of a three-year contract can only be six months.

Ma: If you sign for three years, it’s no problem if you sign for ten years. The probation period is half a year.

Cai: After ten years, the contract becomes an open-ended contract.

Ma: Huh? Is there any fixed term? What kind of law is this?

Ma: Then three years. When the first year is almost over, let him feel bored and leave.

Cai: What if he still finds it interesting?

Ma: If he still finds it interesting, then I think you are boring.

Ma: How is your imagination?

Fan: I had a strange dream last night: It was almost Chinese New Year, and I asked someone to kill a cow. After killing it, the butcher asked me to take a few pieces of meat and leave; I refused, I took a lot of meat and sat there and ate several plates of beef hot pot. I had some left over and gave it to him.

Ma: I might be the one who slaughters cows. What are your salary requirements?

Fan: More than three thousand.

Ma: For our position, the annual salary is 100,000, which means the monthly salary must be more than 4,000. Then that's it for today, nothing else happens to you, just go back and listen. The Chinese New Year is coming soon, it’s hard to find a job, and the expenses are still high. Anyone who asks for money through recruitment should be careful. No matter who picks you up in a car, asks an assistant to pick you up, or asks you to bring a laptop to the interview, you must be careful about your mobile phone being robbed of money and belongings and being defrauded.

Fan: Thank you for your reminder. goodbye.

(Fan below) (Shen above)

Shen: Chairman, why is this treatment different from what you said at the beginning?

Ma: Why is it different?

Shen: At that time, I asked you whether wages were paid on time, and you said, "Of course." I asked if you were strict about attendance, and you said, "It depends on the situation. Sometimes it can be flexible."

Ma: You must have remembered it wrong. You asked me if attendance was very strict, and I said of course. You asked me whether wages are paid on time. I said it depends on the situation, and sometimes it can be flexible.

Shen: I asked you if you have car allowances and meal allowances, which are meal subsidies and transportation subsidies. You replied, "Needless to say, it is definitely higher than your peers!" I asked you if you heard that the company works overtime. Yes, you replied, "Impossible, who told you that?"

Ma: You must have remembered it wrong again. You ask me if my company works overtime, and I tell you, "Of course, it's definitely higher than my peers!" You ask me if there are meal subsidies and transportation subsidies, and my answer is "No way, who told you?" < /p>

(Sinking)

(The phone rings)

Cai: Uncle, the management said that if you don’t pay the rent and water and electricity bills, they will pull down the gate and move the tables. What to do?

Ma: What to do? After packing their things, they were tired of living in this place, so the table was given to them. Will move in the afternoon.

Cai: What if someone asks?

Ma: I just said that I would go to the nursing home to express condolences to the lonely elderly people, give them warmth, and bring some bedding, fruits, and so on.

Cai: What should we do if the real estate agent finds us in the future?

Ma: Don’t worry. The one I signed on the contract is Master Ma! Not Marshal Ma! I learned it from the farmer who photographed tigers.

Horse: Let’s go quickly.