Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Super hilarious story
Super hilarious story
1: There is a couple upstairs.
Lao Wang is a little nervous, but the new couple who moved upstairs are not conscious at all. They often quarrel and say nothing. They also like to throw things when they quarrel. Lao Wang because they often suffer from insomnia. His head hurts like an explosion whenever he hears them making all kinds of noises upstairs.
On this day, things were thrown upstairs again. Lao Wang had no choice but to run upstairs and knock at the door. A fat woman stuck her head out with long hair and asked him angrily what he was doing. Lao Wang said discontentedly, "I am your neighbor downstairs." You quarrel and break things all day, no matter what your neighbors can't stand! "
Unexpectedly, instead of apologizing, the fat woman said angrily, "You are the same person. Who wants to quarrel and who wants to play around? " Besides, it's none of your business if we quarrel at home. "Say that finish angrily shut the door.
Lao Wang was choked by her, but he had to go home and sulk.
This evening, Lao Wang was chopping vegetables in the kitchen when he suddenly heard something fall upstairs. Lao Wang sighed helplessly and said, Let's fight! Fight! Before going to bed, play early and stop early!
Just thinking, suddenly, water began to drip from the ceiling of the kitchen. Lao Wang looked up and it was broken! It must be that the neighbors upstairs are so noisy that they don't even know that the kitchen is leaking. Seeing the water dripping faster and faster, Lao Wang was in a hurry and ran upstairs and knocked at the door.
Who knows that he knocked for a while, but the room became quiet. Lao Wang was puzzled and really haunted. Didn't he hear someone throwing something just now?
Lao Wang wondered if his knocking sound was too low for the people inside to hear, so he knocked hard again. Suddenly I heard a man inside whispering, "Grandpa, we were wrong. We will never drop anything again. Please go home! " "
Lao Wang leng as soon as you listen, heart says this is how to return a responsibility! Why have you suddenly become so reasonable? He looked down, ah! It turns out that I was in such a hurry that I forgot to put down the kitchen knife for cutting vegetables. I guess they saw it through the cat's eye.
It has been much quieter since then.
2. Is it true love?
Roland's dream is to marry a rich second generation. Introduced by a friend, she met Wei Wu. According to a friend, Wei Wu's father is the boss of a large enterprise. After meeting each other, they were very satisfied with each other, and they officially started dating.
In the past few months, Wei Wu has been very considerate to Roland, asking her for advice on everything, as if she were a princess on high, and Wei Wu was just a poor person lucky enough to be seen by the princess.
The other party is rich and considerate, and Roland feels that he has really earned it. Roland is not satisfied with only one thing, that is, Wei Wu usually gives her some small gifts, but rarely spends a lot of money to make her happy. To this end, she also communicated with her best friend. My best friend said, "This is a test for you. Think about it, the richer you are, the more sensitive you are. If you care too much, the other party must think that you are interested in his money. " After being enlightened by his best friend, Roland suddenly realized: It seems that if you want to marry the rich second generation successfully, you should not show your desire for money and material things, but show your boldness of vision of treating money like dirt.
After figuring this out, Roland has nothing to be picky about Wei Wu. Wuwei is extremely satisfied with Roland. Roland is beautiful and generous, and does not pay attention to material enjoyment. Who doesn't like such a woman
Seeing that the wedding day is approaching, they are busy taking wedding photos and booking hotels. On this day, Roland came to Wuwei early in the morning to get the wedding photos. He went to the door of Wei Wu's bedroom and was about to knock. He found the door unlocked. While getting dressed, Wei Wu and his friend are talking on the loudspeaker.
I just heard a friend ask Wei Wu, "Didn't you want to introduce you to so many girlfriends before? How can I be willing to get married this time? "
Wei Wu said with a smile, "Those people only care about my money. Only Roland really loves me. "
The friend continued to ask, "How can you be sure?"
Wu Wei replied: "Of course I can be sure that my family is bankrupt and she is still willing to follow me. What is not true love? "
I'm not superstitious
Deputy Director Wu died in the line of duty and the unit will hold a decent memorial service for him. That day, as soon as the head of the publicity department went out, his wife chased him up from behind, gave him a peach branch and said, "I cut it from a friend's peach tree yesterday."
Fang Changke asked inexplicably, "Why did you send me mahogany?"
His wife gave him a white look and said, "This is used to ward off evil spirits! Aren't you going to the funeral home? That place is unlucky. Taking a peach tree can make it escape far away. "
Fang said, "Then I'll take one. What do you want one for? "
The wife touched her husband's forehead with her hand and said, "What a fool, you won't marry your good colleague. What a good opportunity to win people's hearts! " "
Fang Changke repeatedly praised his wife's thoughtfulness. When he arrived at the unit, he saw the secretary Xiao Zhang and quickly handed over a mahogany and repeated his wife's words. Xiao Zhang was about to thank him when a loud voice came from behind him: "What's the news?" Looking back, Fang found that it was Director Liu, who was busy taking out peach branches from his pocket.
Director Liu obviously knows the local customs. He said unhappily, "What, you, the head of the propaganda department, also believe this?" Fang Changke quickly declared: "No, no, my wife asked me to bring it. I criticized her at that time."
Director Liu was even more excited when he saw everyone gathered around. He righteously said, "I am * * *, and I am upright. Ghosts will run away when they see me. Look at me ... "
Speaking of which, Director Liu ran in the direction of the toilet, clutching his stomach.
Fang didn't know what had happened, so he wanted to go after him. Secretary Xiao Zhang tugged at his clothes and said softly, "Director Liu ate five big peaches in the office just now to ward off evil spirits, and probably ate his stomach badly ..."
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