Jokes in Stephen Chow's movies

A: It has been ten years. I thought this country had forgotten me.

B: No way. Even a pair of underwear and a piece of sanitary paper have their uses.

A: Really, if I lie to you, you promise my son has no asshole.

B: If you look like this, you won't have an asshole when you give birth to a son. Even if there is, it's a deformed asshole!

Who are you?

B: Jianghu is dangerous. I never leave my name easily.

Answer: since you refuse to leave your name, you have to leave a head!

I have been lonely all my life. The only person who lives alone is this head. I'm afraid it's not that easy for you to take it away!

A: OK! You forced me. I want to dye this sea with your blood.

B: I've been wandering all my life, just like a lonely boat in Wang Yang, and I've already put life and death out of my mind.

Other categories:

Sorry, I'm undercover.

You can't see me, you can't see me, you can't see me. ......

Surprised? Are you happy? Are you happy?

Sorry, director. hum ......

According to the background and personality of the character, I want to be naughty in rhythm during the later performance, but it is a bit contradictory. what do you think?

According to Stanny Slavski, a master of Russian drama theory, take pain as an example. It should reflect from the outside to the inside and then from the inside. Come on, you try to do it again now.

Impossible, silly sister's old * *' > * * The eldest brother's son said yes.

Talking about money hurts feelings! But the way, our brothers have no feelings for you. Let's talk about money directly.

It doesn't matter whether you have money or not, but at least be a respected person! (Change the subject)-I'd rather have money. ......

You are all women, so why kill each other? Even chickens are patriotic.

Hurry back to Mars, the earth is very dangerous.

If you want to scare me, you can't fall to the ground. I'm afraid of everything and ghosts!

Wonderful dialogue on a Chinese Odyssey:

What's your mother's name?

You scared me again!

Be careful! It thundered! It's raining to collect clothes!

Talk to me? Are you talking to me? Wrong person!

Wukong, how can you talk to sister Guanyin like this?

Alas, literature can't work, nor can martial arts. You don't want to be a mountain thief. Do you want to be a champion?

Oh-! If you talk like that, I can sue you for slander, ha!

Save it! Change your image and be a promising mountain thief!

I am a western soldier after all. If you let me kiss you, I will. Then my image is not completely ruined!

Brother, how can a rational person like me accept such a ridiculous thing?

Why did you shave off your beard? Do you know that you have no personality without a beard?

It's been a long night and I don't want to sleep. I thought I was the only one who couldn't sleep. It turns out Jingjing can't sleep either!

Cut the crap! You chased me for three days and nights, and I won't kill you because you are a woman. Don't think I'm afraid of you!

Look at you, sneaking around, making a fool of yourself, wearing long hair and putting on airs. How can you come out with me, huh?

I used to call people Britney Spears when I watched the moon with them, but now the new one is better than the old one. I call them Mrs. Niu!

I just woke up and did nothing outside, so I stopped by to learn from my teacher. You suddenly told me you were getting married ... I haven't brushed my teeth yet!

Who said I was cross-eyed? I just focused on one thing to change my previous view of things. Why? I can't make a rumor. Do you want to sit in my seat?

Is Xia Zi an exclamation point or a period in your mind? Is your mind full of question marks?

Do you need a reason to love someone? Don't you need it? Need it? Hey, I'm studying with you. Why are you so serious?

How many brothers and sisters do you have? Are your parents still alive? To say a word, I just want to make one more friend before I die.

People and goblins are born of mothers, different people are born of people's mothers, and demons are born of demons. ......

Therefore, being a demon is like being a human being. You must have a kind heart. With a kind heart, you are no longer a demon, but a shemale.

I can't stand you! You are so ugly, do me a favor, everyone is a fairy, and stop sexually harassing me, okay?

As far as wisdom and martial arts are concerned, I have always been a little taller than him, but now there is a Xia Zixian, and I am afraid he is a little taller than me. It is because of you that he is a little taller than me!

Wukong wants to eat me. This is just an idea. It hasn't been realized yet. You have no proof. What crime did he commit? Why don't you wait for him to eat me and you can prove it, so it's not too late to convict him!

You can stab me, Wukong. There is no sorrow in life and no pain in death. When you understand that you have given up your life for justice, you will naturally come back and sing this song with me! Amitabha, Amitabha, Amitabha. ......

Be sure to explain clearly! So I have to get the Moonlight Box back and take you back to explain it to them. I don't care what others say about me, and I'm not afraid that thousands of Qian Qian people will revile me in the future. I want to take it alone.

Did everyone see it? This guy talks about his mother-in-law all day. It seems that there is a fly. Hum … Sorry, it's not one. It's a bunch of flies around you. Hum … Hum … Fly to your ear. Help!

So I caught the fly and burst its belly, pulled out its intestines, and then grabbed his neck with its intestines and pulled hard, oh! The whole tongue is sticking out! I'll start over! The whole world is clean. Now everyone understands why I killed him!

Wow! Dude, is your makeup called the Monkey King? Give me some professionalism, will you? You see, those hairs are split, and they look like they are wearing two pieces of rice cakes on their heads. Going out to eat costs some money! what are you reading? Your makeup is disgusting! Angry at me. That's what I said!

Do you want it? Wukong, how can I know what you want if you don't tell me? Although you look at me sincerely, you still have to tell me what you want. Do you really want it? Then you can take it! You don't really want it, do you? Do you really want it?

Hey hey hey! Don't be angry, everyone. Anger will offend you! Wukong, you are too naughty. I told you not to throw things around. Why did you ... you threw the stick away before I finished! Moonlight box is a treasure. If you throw it away, it will pollute the environment. What if you hit a child? Even if you can't hit children, it's wrong to hit those flowers and plants!

Alas, the size of that diamond ring is too bad. The front is heavy and the back is light, and the left is wide and the right is narrow. He is very uncomfortable after wearing it, and he can't sleep all night, which will bring trouble to me! Although he is a monkey, you can't do this to him. The government will accuse me of animal cruelty! Speaking of diamond rings, I met a blacksmith in Chenjiacun last year. He is exquisite in workmanship and reasonable in price. He is innocent. How about I introduce you to order another one?

You should do this. I should die. Once there was a sincere love in front of me. I didn't cherish it, and I regretted it when I lost it. The most painful thing in the world is this. Cut your sword on my throat! Don't hesitate any longer! If God can give me another chance, I will say three words to that girl: I love you. If I have to add a time limit to this love, I hope it is ... ten thousand years!