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The colder the joke, the better. Thank you!

1, it's too late

An emperor returned to Beijing after many years' patrol. Suddenly, Wen Yi's imperial concubine gave birth, thinking: If I leave for so long, she will be pregnant and have a baby, and there must be a eunuch next to her. So he called all the eunuchs in a rage and asked them to queue up to count off. (eunuch whispers) 1, 2, 3, 4. 5 (gruff voice). The emperor said that there was no need to report it. Put the fifth eunuch on death row and let him cut him tomorrow.

After midnight, the imperial concubine sneaked into the death row with the baby in her arms and said to the eunuch, I have bought the prison clothes. Let's fly away and live a happy life in a place where no one can find it.

He said, it's too late. (whispering)

2. The boss's attitude of eating and sleeping

Say to your wife: eat and sleep.

Say to sister-in-law: eat and sleep.

Say to the beauty: eat and sleep.

Say to Xiaomi: Eat and sleep.

Say to employees: sleep what you eat.

The police questioned the prisoner.

Policeman: "Say, what's your name?"

Prisoner: "My name is Jackie Chan."

Policeman: "Why don't you call Zhen Chen? Correct your attitude ~ tell me your name ~? "

Prisoner: "My name is Zhen Chen."

4. Super composition of primary school girls

Title-"Me Thirty Years Later"

Xiaomei, a girl in the class, wrote: "The weather is good today. I take my children to Da 'an Forest Park to play. We are driving the Rolls Royce that my husband bought me, with a big diamond ring on our fingers and a gold chain around our necks. I took my lovely children for a walk in the park, and people everywhere envied me. Suddenly, a smelly, muddy and homeless old lady rushed out of the road. I looked at it carefully ... oh, my god! She turned out to be my fifth-grade Chinese teacher! "

5. Take a bus somewhere to realize the credit card system.

A foreign friend took the bus card given by his friend for the first time, showed it to the driver after getting on the bus, and motioned to leave.

The driver shouted, "read the card! Look at the card! "

So he took the card and read in a low voice: "The producer of the second brigade of the bus company ..."

The driver quickly said, "Come here, come and read!" " "

He had no choice but to come forward and read aloud: "Bus Company No.2 Brigade ..."

The driver froze for three seconds, and then

Laugh! ………

6. Asked the English teacher how to speak "fake" English, the teacher was silent ... After a while, he turned his head lightly and said: Made in China.

7. An UAE student sent an email to his father: "Dad, Berlin is a good place. People here are very friendly. But I'm a little embarrassed to go to school. When everyone else goes to school by subway, I will drive a pure gold Mercedes. " Dad wrote back: "son, I transferred 200 million dollars to you." Don't embarrass me, go and buy a subway! "

8. A true story:

I bought a bottle of Master Kong green tea yesterday and opened the bottle cap to see "another bottle", haha.

Turn around and find the boss at once.

Drinking while walking doesn't taste right. At first glance, this is really an imitation.

Looking back, do people in the shanzhai also have "another bottle"?

Looking back at the bottle cap, it suddenly said, "I want to buy a bottle."

I'm from ooxx.

That's all for now. You can find it directly in the cold joke column in Baidu Post Bar, or browse it in the joke column, and there will be many gains.