Ask ten little jokes, thank you ~

A student who participated in the school recitation competition for the first time was particularly nervous. The teacher encouraged him for a long time, but his palms were still sweating. It's finally her turn. The students gritted their teeth and walked a few steps to the center of the stage: "Teachers and students, the topic I recited is: Red leaves are crazy (maple leaves) ..."

14, men in the new century: sleeping on the floor, living in the corridor, kneeling on the motherboard, mending clothes, eating leftovers, paying prescriptions, taking care of children, raising girls, enduring loneliness and keeping empty rooms!

15, in the subway, I saw a beautiful woman around me take out an iPhone, then a young artist took out an iPhone, and a business man took a silent look and took out an ipad. At this time, I smiled ghostly, took out my Nokia and smashed a walnut in the aisle, so the whole scene was hold by me.

16, "Doctor, I feel very stressed sometimes." "When is it usually?" "When cooking." "Oh, what's your name?" , "Pressure cooker."

17, whoever dares to bully me in the future will write your names on the insoles and trample you to death every day.

18, it is said that the Tang priest came to the foot of Wuzhishan. Wukong: "Master, help me!" "Tang Priest:" How do you repay me for saving you as a teacher? "Wukong:" I'll send you to the Western Heaven! ""It is said that when there is a meteor in the sky that day, making a wish is very clever. I made a wish on a meteor that day, hoping you would be smarter. Shit! Guess what? The meteor flew back the same way!

26. During the Spring and Autumn Period and the Warring States Period, you were the commander in chief, wearing a pot cover, carrying a sack, carrying a plastic bag around your waist, holding a pot cover in your hand, and sticking two Chinese cabbages on your feet, shouting, "Stop! Shit! Rotten! ! ! "

27. Do not study; It's too difficult! Make tofu! Tofu is the safest; The hard thing to do is dried tofu! Thin is tofu brain! Thin is tofu skin! No, soybean milk! If it can't be sold, it can also be used as stinky tofu!

28. On the bus today, a man and a woman collided because of the crowd. The fashionable girl turned around and said, "Are you sick?" The man felt puzzled and replied, "Do you have any medicine?" The people in the car snickered! The woman felt very angry and replied, "Are you mentally ill?" The man said coldly, "Can it be cured?" The whole car is hilarious! The bus driver stopped to lie on the steering wheel and laugh!

29. A puppy climbed onto the dining table and rubbed against a roast chicken. The shopkeeper was furious and said, I'll do whatever you dare to do to that roast chicken. The dog licked the chicken's ass. The master fainted. The puppy said happily, look who's good! Jiang Gan, a classmate, signed up for the lecture and introduced herself first. When he first came on stage, he was very nervous: "My name is Jiang Gan. Sweet, sweet, well, no, it's sugar cane ... "The presiding brother had a black line on his forehead:" This classmate should step down first and calm down. " "I am famous!" "Well, go back and calm down for a while." "I'm really famous." Brother Shi suddenly said, "Call again at dawn!"

10, a buddy sleeps in the upper bunk in junior high school. One night, all the students in our class were having a nap, but this guy fell asleep. Suddenly I heard a "plop" and the buddy fell from the upper bunk. One of my classmates hurried out of bed to turn on the light. At this moment, the funniest thing came. I heard the buddy weakly shout "Mom, turn on the light"! At that time, we had all kinds of funny jokes.

1 1. One day, a classmate in our class recited an ancient poem "Compassion for Peasants": "You plant 10,000 seeds in spring and reap a millet in autumn ..." I fainted, and the whole class collapsed and sweated!

12. If my son wants to recite ancient poems for me after school, I will encourage him to come. When I asked your students under a pine tree, "my teacher," he replied, "went to pick herbs." Dead on this mountain, how do I know, through all these clouds? . Haha, I didn't even find the body ... I passed by the door of a shopping mall and heard a conversation between a MM and a key. Can you give me a key? Key: Sure. Then make me one. After a few seconds of silence. The man with the key looked at MM and asked, Where is the key? I have the key. Why should I ask you for it?

4. 1 half-year-old children are very naughty. At noon, my sister took the bus with her child in her arms, and the seat was next to the driver. After sitting for a while, the child kept crying, and Ren Jie refused to give up. The driver finally got tired of crying. He turned to his sister and shouted, "What do children always teach? Just give him what he wants? " Sister said: "That won't do, the child wants your steering wheel!" " "

Before the plane lands, the flight attendants should sign and seal all kinds of articles. But as soon as the drinks were sealed, some passengers asked for coke. The flight attendant said to the passengers, "We are all sealed." The guest didn't understand: "I just want a coke. Are you crazy?"

6. The boy sitting behind me spoke a little sissy, so I called him half-male, and then he said angrily, "I'm not half-male, I'm all-male." There was silence around, and then everyone laughed.