"My mother-in-law said that the child can't remember it now, let her grandmother take it, and then bring it when she goes to kindergarten." what do you think?

There is a saying in the book of a woman writer in Taiwan Province Province: In this life, it is not unusual to meet love, sex and understanding.

In family life, it is not hard work that crushes women, but loneliness, calculation and incomprehension from the family.

In marriage, the second stage that is prone to problems is the birth of the child: who will take care of the child's life, how to plan the cost of raising the child, and what is the role of parents and elders at this stage?

In fact, as a woman, you are not a haggle over every ounce. It doesn't matter if you do too much housework. You are willing to take care of the children after all the hardships. Many times, you pay far more for your family than men.

However, at the same time, with your parents who love you and care about you, you have to pay more for your small family.

02

Shortly after Jojo got married, her mother-in-law mentioned intentionally or unintentionally that she was in poor health and could not take care of her children. Jojo didn't take it to heart at the time. When she was ready to have children, she didn't consider needing her mother-in-law's help. She naively thought that her mother-in-law was in poor health and her mother was in good health and could help herself. It was not until the birth of the child that she really experienced the days of taking care of the child that she knew why the salary of the eldest sister-in-law was so high.

Jojo asked me, have you ever met such a situation:

When the baby is born, there is very little milk, and the mother-in-law makes you drink a lot of oil soup without salt. Sometimes if you can't drink it, your mother-in-law will whisper, isn't it because you drink less soup? If you really love children, how can you drink them? ......

One day, the child will turn over and accidentally fall out of bed. It's your first time as a mother, but I didn't expect the child to suddenly learn to turn over. Or you were too tired to take care of the children at night and slept deeply, so you didn't find the children wake up in time. Husband and mother-in-law accuse you in unison: why don't you look after the children? As a mother, you really fail!

Children are exclusively breastfed. I have to get up several times every night, and I have a serious lack of sleep. It's really hard to feel pregnant, have children and take care of them. Sometimes when I express my dissatisfaction, my husband will confidently say: I don't work hard every day, or is it for you? Besides, is it my fault that you get up so much at night? I want to take care of the children, but do I have any milk? Did he ask me to bring it? Is it interesting to bring up a child and complain bitterly?

So after the maternity leave, Jojo's mother became the main force to take care of the baby. After all, there is a generation gap between grandma and grandson, and there is no direct obligation and responsibility to support them. This is entirely out of affection and love for my daughter. Grandma works so hard because Jojo can't coordinate her husband's efforts for her children like herself, and no mother-in-law is as distressed as her mother.

03

Life flies with the little guy, at least that's what Jojo thinks. The child stays at his mother's house, and he will help take care of it when he is free. Somehow Jojo always feels that her mother seems to be haggard than last time.

Jojo tried to take the children home for a while, but she had to go to work, so she counted on her mother-in-law for help. But every time I didn't wait for Jojo to speak, my mother-in-law would have a backache and dizziness at the right time, and things would be forgotten.

A few days ago, Jojo heard her mother-in-law and her husband say, Give me back my child when she goes to kindergarten. After all, it belongs to our family ... Jojo is still silly and happy to hear that. Then the mother-in-law said: Now the child is too young to understand, and his memory is vague, which is useless to him. It's easy to mention it in kindergarten and children can remember things. ......

Jojo's heart has an inexplicable nerve shock, as if it were gripped tightly by one hand and she could not breathe.

Indeed, today's son still doesn't quite understand what his grandmother did for him, and even he may not remember when he grows up.

I don't remember my grandmother holding him day and night after I got sick. I don't remember sleeping with him and covering him with quilts several times a night; Don't remember to put him to sleep and sing lullabies until his voice is hoarse; I don't remember feeding him complementary food and teaching him to eat alone. He is covered with soup. I don't remember these daily drops. ......

When the child grows up and is sensible, the mother-in-law is ready to take the child over. The child has developed all living habits and can eat, sleep and dress by himself ... But who taught him these things bit by bit?

04

Jojo doesn't know what to do. If the child doesn't take it, the mother will continue to suffer. My mother changed from good health at first to back pain and leg pain from time to time. Jojo didn't know her mother's illness was much more serious than her mother's until she saw the case, but she never said that she didn't pay attention.

Jojo blamed herself. She doesn't understand what marriage has brought her. Love? It seems that from the birth of this child, her husband disliked that she could no longer travel with him, and the topic always revolved around the child; Family? The person who can give her the most affection, she had it before this marriage was concluded; Material? She has always been able to rely on herself and live a moist and comfortable life; Rely on it? In her eyes, her husband's family can't trust her, and her husband is still a big child. ......

Jojo thought about quitting her job and taking care of the baby at home, but she was afraid of losing herself completely. After thinking about it, Jojo can only tell herself that from now on, she should not only focus on her work and children, but also care more about her mother and care for the elderly wholeheartedly.

As for the son after kindergarten, Jojo is going to take him with him. Jojo thought: She is confident to take good care of her children without relying on the elderly.