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Funny quotations for finding a job after graduation

Lead: When I applied for a foreign company, people asked me why I chose it. By some strange coincidence, I actually said: Learn from foreigners and control foreigners! ? He was kicked out on the spot. The following are funny quotations about finding a job after graduation for your reference.

1.? Do you admit it or not?

The company paid well and the booth was crowded, which directly rejected many applicants. A man fought his way through the crowd, squeezed into the table, waved his fist and shouted, Do you recognize it?

2.? The temple is too small for the great bodhisattva. ?

Going to a job fair with my classmates, both of them voted for the same company, but it seems that people are not interested. After he came back, he complained that MM, who was in charge of recruitment, was ignorant of Mount Tai and could not see his strengths. I sneer:? People are well-informed, how can they not see your strengths? However, people think that your strengths are not long enough. He paused for a moment, then retorted: Isn't that what happened to you?

I take my rest to answer:? How can I be like you? Didn't you hear what they finally told me? I cleared my throat. People say:? There is no room for a big bodhisattva in a small temple! ?

3.? Two-way choice?

When you go to the job fair, you will submit your resume when you see the booth. One of the booths really didn't vote and voted for the vice president directly. Recruitment MM looked at me and said: Do you think we can still entrust this company to you now? I said:? What is there to worry about? We are a two-way choice! ?

4.? Control foreigners like foreigners?

When applying for a foreign company, others asked me why I chose it, and I actually said: Learn from foreigners and control foreigners! ? He was kicked out on the spot.

5.? Boss, do you want to recruit a coolie?

Although I just want to be a coolie, I have to dress up before I can find a job in the biggest talent market in Beijing! You can't make a fool of yourself in public. So I wore a suit and tie, polished my shoes and went on my way. When I arrived at the talent market, I saw a sea of people, which was impenetrable. I didn't squeeze in, thinking: with my conditions, finding a coolie is not a piece of cake! ? So I waited and waited, and no one came to recruit me after sunset. It's almost hopeless At this time, a man came quickly, and I quickly adjusted my hair. As long as he asks, I will agree to whatever conditions.

He came over and said only one thing: boss, do you want to recruit a coolie?

6.? We don't want notebooks?

When I came to the job fair, I handed in a thick stack of resumes carefully printed by laser, and the other party knocked me to the bottom in one sentence. Sorry, we want a resume, not a notebook! ?

7.? Afraid you can't stay?

That female classmate, who was excellent, made us feel ashamed, but she had the worst application experience and was repeatedly rejected. TOE**600, *RE2250, student union cadre, how many papers do you publish every year to get a scholarship? Such an excellent student has failed many times, and each of us is puzzled. She herself doesn't understand: what is the standard for selecting people in the unit now?

On one occasion, she finally couldn't help calling the company and asking why she was rejected. The other party is very calm: you are such an excellent student, we are afraid we can't stay! Besides, if you go abroad in a few days, we will waste a recruitment quota. ?

8.? Are you from a famous university?

Last June, 5438+065438+ 10, I learned that a job fair for news system talents was being held in Shanghai, and I rushed there non-stop. I hung up my clothes and held them in my hand for fear of being crumpled in my suit on the train. When I arrived in Shanghai, I found a bathroom to change clothes, adjusted my hair and went straight to the job fair. There are more than 20 resumes in the bag, one after another. I didn't expect the other person to look up at my resume and ask me: Are you from a famous university? I can't wait to tell her the glorious history of the school in the past hundred years, but under the attention of everyone, I still disappeared in despair.

9.? Tell a joke! ?

Famous entrepreneurs personally presided over the interview, and I handed in my resume with trepidation. The entrepreneur asked nothing but: Tell a joke! ? I talked for a long time and finally came up with a joke about parrots: A man went to a pet store to buy parrots, and the owner said to him, We have three parrots, the blue one can speak four languages, which costs 1000 yuan, the red one can speak six languages, which costs 3,000 yuan, and the yellow one can't speak, which costs 5,000 yuan. ? Why ... cried the man? It can't do anything! ? Is that so? The shopkeeper explained,? We don't know, but the other two call it boss. ? My face turned blue when I finished speaking, and I knew it was over again!

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