Where are the sixth grade math jokes?

Let’s take a look at jokes about mathematics. Below are the math jokes compiled by the editor of Study Abroad. Please be kind to mathematicians. In fact, mathematics is also a very romantic science. For more mathematics jokes, please pay attention to the practical information column of Study Abroad Network!

My father’s drinking capacity

Mathematics teacher: “There are three glasses of wine on the table. I’ll treat your father to a drink. How many more glasses are there? ?”

Primary school student: “There’s not a glass left.”

Mathematics teacher: “What? Didn’t you understand me? I’ll say it again, there are three glasses of wine on the table. Please give your father a drink, how many more are there?"

Primary school student: "There is really no more."

Mathematics teacher: "Do you understand mathematics?"

Primary school student: "Sir, you don't understand my father's temper. When he sees wine on the table, he won't let go of a glass." Result

Teacher: "Today we are going to learn subtraction. For example, if your brother has 5 apples and you take 3 of them, what will be the result?

Tom: "Well, he will definitely beat me up!"

Problem solving

In math class. The teacher said: "A hall is located at the highest point of the mountain. There are 5 platforms on the road leading to the hall. There are 20 steps between the platforms. How many steps do the children need to climb to reach the hall?"

"Go on board them all!" Little Carroll quickly replied.

Rounding

Zai Zai came back from school happily and asked his mother: "Where is dad?"

Mom saw Zai Zai's excitement and asked strangely: "Dad is at home, what are you doing with dad?"

"I want 50 cents from dad."

"Why?" Mom asked. "

Before taking the math test, my father said to me, 'If I get 100 points, give me 1 yuan, and if I get 80 points, I will get 80 cents.' Today, I got 45 points in the math test." Zaizai replied.

My mother asked in surprise: "What! You only got 45 points on the math test?"

Zai Zai said proudly: "Yes, math has to be rounded, so dad has to pay 50 cents Money. ”

Distributive Law of Multiplication

The teacher found a student’s name in the homework book: Mu (1 2 3).

The teacher asked: "Whose homework book is this?"

A student stood up: "It's mine!"

Teacher: "What's your name?" Name?"

Student: "Mu Linsen!"

Teacher: "Then why did you write your name like this?"

Student: "I used The distributive law of multiplication!"

Numbers do not lie.

"Numbers do not lie," the teacher said. "A house, if a person spends ten It takes two days to build it, and one day is enough for 288 people."

One student continued: "One day is enough for 17,280 people. Minutes, 1,036,800 people only need one second. In addition, if it takes six days for a ship to cross the Atlantic, it will take one day for four cups of water at 25 degrees to be boiled. Oh! Numbers can’t lie!”

0’s ability

Once, 9 said to 0 contemptuously: “Your ability is only 0.”

0 lowered his head and replied respectfully: "I admit it. You really admire me, because your ability is ten thousand times that of mine (i.e. 0*10000)."

9 strutting stupidly and proudly. However, it made other figures laugh.

11:30

In the fourth class in the morning, Student A was hungry and had no intention of listening to the class. He sat in his seat and thought about beef and bread.

The math teacher noticed that he was distracted and asked him: "What will happen if the decimal point of 1.130 is moved one place to the right?"

Student A answered without hesitation: "It will be Let’s have lunch!”

Probability

I went to visit the weather station and saw many of the latest instruments for predicting the weather.

After the visit, I asked the webmaster: "When you said there is a 75% probability of raining, how did you calculate it?" The webmaster replied without thinking too much: "That's right. Said, there are four of us here, and three of them think it will rain." Separate left and right

The teacher asked a question: 8?=? Then asked everyone: "What is the value of 8 divided into two halves?"

Pippi replied: "Equal to 0!"

The teacher said: "How could it be?" Pippi explained: "Separate the upper and lower parts!"

Ding Ding said : "No, it's the ears!" Teacher: "Oh?" Tintin replied: "Separate the left and right!"

Go and study

A student threw a coin into the air: "Heads up." I’ll watch TV when it’s on the back, and play games when it’s tails up. If the coin stands up, I’ll study.”

A question about time

In a math class, the teacher said Asked the students: "Who can ask a question about time?" As soon as he finished speaking, a student stood up with his hand raised and asked: "Teacher, when is school over?"

Statistician

There was a statistician who had never taken care of his children. One Saturday afternoon when his wife was going out to buy groceries, he reluctantly agreed to take care of his four young and active children. When his wife came home, he handed her a note that read: "Wipe tears 11 times; tie shoelaces 15 times; blow up toy balloons for each child 5 times. The average life of each balloon is 10 seconds." ; Warned the child not to cross the road 26 times; the child insisted on crossing the road 26 times; I want to live another Saturday like this 0 times. ”

Check

One day for the high school entrance examination, All the questions were multiple-choice questions, so student A brought a dice, and student B sat next to him. The following is the exam situation: student A threw dice A: 3.1.1.3.4.2.4.2.1 Then student A finished writing, Soon after he started to sleep, A woke up and started throwing dice again.

B: What are you doing?

A: Check the calculation!

Subtraction

In mathematics class, the teacher asked a student Said: "How come you can't even subtract? For example, if you have ten apples at home and you eat four, what is the result?"

The student said frustratedly: "The result is... Ten spanks!"

Five Hundred Ducks

A male teacher said to two noisy female students: "The voices of two women are like a thousand ducks. "Scream." After a while, the teacher's wife came to visit him. One of the female students came to report. "Teacher, there are five hundred ducks outside the door to see you."

How many times

The teacher asked in class: "How many wars happened in Spain in the fifteenth century?" "Six times." One student answered quickly. "Which six times?" the teacher asked again. "The first time, the second time, the third time, the fourth time, the fifth time and the sixth time."

Oral examination

In class, the teacher asked a true or false question Ask the students to judge right or wrong on the spot. Teacher: "Xiao Lin, please judge." Xiao Lin: "I think the answer should be 'wrong'." Teacher: "Why?" Xiao Lin: "Because Xiaoyan answered 'correct' earlier, but you didn't let her sit Next. ”

Paradox problem

I was discussing a paradox problem with my classmates: the only barber in the village must give haircuts to people who don’t have haircuts every month. Ask the barber Who should cut your hair? It’s so difficult! If the barber cuts his own hair, he is giving haircuts to those who cut his own hair. If the barber does not cut his own hair, he will not give haircuts to those who do not cut his own hair. It is so profound! After a long discussion, there is no result.

Qian, a classmate in the back row, interjected: "This is not easy, the barber is bald!"

The humor of mathematicians

A statistician meets a mathematician The statistician ridiculed the mathematician: Didn’t you say that if X=Y and Y=Z, then X=Z! Then presumably if you like a girl, then you will also like the boy that girl likes!? The mathematician thought for a moment and asked: Then if you put your left hand into a pot of boiling water at 100 degrees, and your right hand into a pot of ice water at zero degrees, it would be fine! Because they are only 50 degrees on average!"

There is a problem with probability

"Teacher, I found that there is a problem with the probability formula!" "Oh? Tell me your reasons." "There are 50 students in our class ***. According to calculations, The probability of me being asked a question is 2, but in today’s class you asked me to answer almost all the questions.”

The number of dead

The British poet Jason wrote a poem. A few lines of the poem read like this: "Every minute someone dies, every minute someone is born..." A mathematician wrote a letter to question after reading it, and the letter said: "Dear Sir, please read it. It's a great work, but there are a few lines that are illogical and hard to agree with. According to your algorithm, the number of people living and dying every minute equals the number of people on the earth. But you also know that the population on the earth is actually the same. It is constantly growing. To be precise, there are relatively 1.6749 people being born every minute, which is quite different from the number you provided in the poem. To be more realistic, I suggest you use 7/6 if you don't object. Fraction, that is, change the verse to: "One person dies every minute, and one and one-sixth of a person is born every minute..."

Empirical Equation

The physics professor walked across the campus and met the mathematics professor. The physics professor was conducting an experiment. He concluded an empirical equation that seemed to be consistent with the experimental data. He asked the mathematics professor to take a look at the equation. They met a week later and the mathematics professor said. This equation did not hold. But at that time, the physics professor had used his equation to predict further experimental results, and the results were quite good, so he asked the mathematics professor to review the equation again. Another week passed, and they met again. The professor said that this equation does hold, “but only for the simple case of positive real numbers. ”

Driving a nail

Engineers, physicists and mathematicians were given a task at the same time: to drive a nail into a wall. The engineer built a universal nailer , a machine that can drive any possible nail into any possible wall. Physicists conducted a series of tests on the strength of hammers, nails, and walls, and then developed a revolutionary technology - —Supersonic nailing technology at ultra-low temperature. Mathematicians extend the problem to N-dimensional space and consider the problem of a 1-dimensional nail penetrating an N-1-dimensional super wall. Of course, many basic theorems are proved. The problem is so profound that the existence of a simple solution is far from obvious.

Maximum Area

A farmer invited engineers, physicists, and mathematicians to find the smallest solution. The fence encloses the largest area. The engineer uses the fence to enclose a circle and claims that this is the optimal design. The physicist stretches the fence into a long straight line. Assuming that the fence is infinite, he thinks that it will enclose half of the earth. Big enough. The mathematician gave them a good laugh. He fenced himself off with a few fences and said, "I'm outside now. ”

The mathematician’s answer

Physicists and engineers were lost in the Grand Canyon while riding in a hot air balloon. They shouted for help: “Hey——! Where are we? ?" After about 15 minutes, they heard the response echoing in the valley: "Hey -! You are in a hot air balloon!" The physicist said: "That guy must be a mathematician. "The engineer asked in confusion: "Why?" The physicist said: "Because he spent a long time giving a completely correct answer, but the answer was of no use at all. ”

The solution exists

The engineer, the chemist, and the mathematician lived in three adjacent rooms in an old inn.

That night, the engineer's coffee machine first caught fire. He woke up smelling smoke, unplugged the coffee machine, threw it out the window, and then went back to sleep. After a while, the chemist also woke up smelling the smell of smoke. He found that it was the cigarette butts that had set the trash can on fire. He said to himself: "How to put out a fire? You should lower the fuel temperature below the ignition point and isolate the burning material from oxygen. Watering can do both of these things at the same time." So he dragged the trash can into the bathroom and turned on the faucet to water it. After putting out the fire, I went back to sleep. The mathematician saw all this from the window, so when a moment later he discovered that the ashes of his cigarette had caught fire on the sheets, he was not at all worried. Said: "Hey, the solution exists!" and went to sleep.

Negative Numbers

Mathematicians, biologists, and physicists sat in a street cafe and watched people walking in and out of a house across the street. They saw two people go in first, and as time passed, they saw three more people come out. Physicist: "The measurement is not accurate enough." Biologist: "They reproduced." Mathematician: "If one more person comes in now, the house will be empty."

Firefighting

One day, the mathematician decided that he had had enough of mathematics, so he ran to the fire station and announced that he wanted to be a firefighter. The fire chief said: "You look good, but I have to give you a test first." The fire chief took the mathematician to the alley in the backyard of the fire brigade. There was a warehouse, a fire hydrant and a hose in the alley. The fire chief asked: "Suppose there was a fire in the warehouse, what would you do?" The mathematician replied: "I connected the fire hydrant to the hose, turned on the water hose, and put out the fire." The fire chief said: "Exactly! Last question: Suppose you walked into the alley and there was no fire in the warehouse, what would you do?" The mathematician thought for a long time, and finally replied: "I will light the warehouse on fire." The fire captain shouted: "What? It's terrible. !Why did you set the warehouse on fire?" The mathematician replied: "This reduces the problem to a problem that I have already solved."

Statistician

The composition of mathematics is: 50 formulas, 50 proofs, and 50 imagination. Topologists cannot tell the difference between a coffee cup and a bagel. A statistician with his head in the oven and his feet in the ice says, "The average feels good."

The height of a flagpole

A team of engineers measuring a flagpole They only have a tape measure, which is difficult to fix on the flagpole because the tape measure always falls down. A mathematician passed by, pulled out the flagpole, and easily measured the data. After he left, one engineer said to another: "Mathematicians are always like this. What we want is height, but he gives us length!"

Differentiation

Constant functions Walking on the street with the exponential function ex, I saw the differential operator from a distance. The constant function was so frightened that I hid in a hurry and said, "If I get differentiated by it, I will have nothing!" The exponential function said calmly: "It You can't do anything to me, I'm ex!" Exponential function meets differential operator. The exponential function introduced itself: "Hello, I am ex." The differential operator said: "Hello, I am d/dy!"

Proof of prime numbers

Prove all Odd numbers greater than 2 are all prime numbers. People in different majors give different proofs: Mathematician: 3 is a prime number, 5 is a prime number, and 7 is a prime number. It can be seen from mathematical induction that all odd numbers greater than 2 are prime numbers. Physicist: 3 is a prime number, 5 is a prime number, 7 is a prime number, 9 is an experimental error, 11 is a prime number,... Engineer: 3 is a prime number, 5 is a prime number, 7 is a prime number, 9 is a prime number, 11 is a prime number,... … Computer programmer: 3 is a prime number, 5 is a prime number, 7 is a prime number, 7 is a prime number, 7 is a prime number, … Statistician: Let’s try some randomly selected numbers, 17 is a prime number, 23 is a prime number, 11 is a prime number,...

What is π?

Mathematician: π is the ratio of the circumference of a circle to its diameter. Engineer: π is approximately 22/7. Computer Programmer: π in double precision is 3.141592653589.

Nutritionists: You die-hard math brains, pie is a delicious and healthy dessert!

Black Sheep

Physicists, astronomers and A mathematician was walking on the Scottish plateau and happened to see a black sheep. "Ah!" said the astronomer, "it turns out that the sheep in Scotland are black." "Come on, you can't say that based on just one observation." Physics The mathematician said, "You can only say that the black sheep was found in Scotland." "That's not right," the mathematician said. "From this observation, you can only say: At this moment, this sheep has never been found in Scotland." From our perspective, one side is black on the surface. ”

Everywhere is unguideable

A foreign scholar (who is engaged in mathematics research) visited our school and stayed there. When he was leaving at the school's guest house for foreign guests, I asked him what his impression of our school was. He said: "The guest house in your school is too bad. I will never dare to stay there again!" I hurriedly asked him the reason. The professor said: "That eating bowl, the mouth of the bowl is not guideable, how can it be used by people!" I listened and laughed, the professor's metaphor was really vivid!

Plagiarism

During the exam, someone copied the answer. It was originally | One is copied as 6/q, the next one is 6/9, and the last digit is simplified and becomes 2/3! The type of matrix judgment matrix for undergraduate mathematics homework. One guy's writing was too fancy, and the person who copied it wrote "indefinite matrix" instead of "indeterminate matrix." When the homework was sent back, the teacher actually circled the "one" out with a red pen. When I was taking the high-level math test in college, a buddy from Qinghai was really bad at studying, so he sat behind me and copied. After the test, he told me that I had done many questions wrong, and I didn’t make the score that I should have agreed on. He corrected all of them himself. After careful review, Question, he eliminated all the partial differential symbols.