The complete script lines of the funny sketch "School Begins"

For the majority of students, starting school is not a particularly gratifying thing. The following are the script lines of my collected essay "School Begins". Welcome to read the reference!

Characters:

Fan Si (soft outside and rigid inside).

Liu Mang (witty and generous)

Yang Jingze (Humor, Sleeping God, the tone is simulated in Xiao Shenyang)

Huo (simple and honest, stuttering)

George W. Bush (cute baby)

Small pudding (quiet and generous)

Qin Ershi (stuttering but funny)

Beidaihe (soft and strong)

Teacher Liu (amiable)

(School has started, and new students have entered the school? At the door of class 8 19? )

Liu Mang took to the stage with Le Shu in his hand; Fan Si then held a drawing board in his hand, and the two looked around and made a pair of "devils entering the village".

Liu: (looking at the sign at the door of the classroom) It was Class 8 18 just now, and this is Class 9 18. Well, I finally found it.

Fan: (patting Liu on the shoulder) Brother, (emphasizing) you read it backwards, right?

Liu: (holding glasses at them) Oh, yes, yes, I said that the September 18th Incident was not here either! (Pauses and looks at Fan) You? So are the new classmates?

Fan: Ang!

Liu: What's your major? (patting Fan's drawing board) Woodworker Ang?

Fan: (taking the drawing board back, Liu takes a step back and is startled) Art!

Liu: Ah, art, not bad!

Fan: And you are?

Liu: Me? (Show Fan the piano book) Music (Music) (Make a fist with your right hand as the microphone and start singing)

Fan: Ah, Le (Le), very good! (Paused) Then let's hurry in. The teacher will come at once! (The two entered the classroom in the form of "devils entering the village", and only Yang Jingze was sleeping in the classroom; Fan and Liu are sitting on two stools in the last row chatting? )

Liu: Hey, I said, how much did you bring back? (I waved the "money" gesture twice in front of Fan, and Fan's head turned twice. Liu finally snapped his fingers, and Fan's head stopped. )

Fan: (thinking) Oh, I brought more than 400.

Liu: (thinking) more than 400? More than 400 is enough?

Fan: (wondering) Enough? Still not enough?

Liu: I want to know. I asked you. Who knows what this school eats? If you eat instant noodles, you can eat them for several months; Eat Beijing roast duck, and it will be gone in two or three days! Who knows whether this school eats instant noodles or Beijing roast duck? (thoughtfully, suddenly) Hey, I said, where are you from? Fan: I, oh (think), I'm from Luzhuang Village, Anxin County, Baoding City, Hebei Province. (sandy speaks faster and her tone is aggravated. ) Liu: I see. Wait, find (pointing to my head) Niu Jiao Village Ang?

Fan: Ang, who are you?

Liu: Me? I am from Bianying Village, Baituan Township, Qingyuan County, Baoding City, Hebei Province (Di Kuai, with an accent).

Fan: Bianying Village?

Liu: Ang! ? Hey, after all this talk, I don't know your name yet.

Fan: Ah, my last name is Fan.

Liu: Fan what?

Fan: (a little angry, suddenly standing up and pushing Liu's shoulder) You are stupid! My last name is Fan Mingsi.

Liu: Fan Mingsi? What a nice name! Do you think China has been up and down for five thousand years? (Get up and prepare for a long speech)

Fan: (stops Liu) Big Brother, Big Brother, Big Brother? It's Vance (nodding)

Liu: Vance, the name is also very good. Look at this fan, this Si, especially this Si? You are the fourth in the family, aren't you? Fan: Ah! Yes! (Sit down)

(Liu sits down)

What's your last name?

Liu: My last name is Liu!

Fan: What's your name?

Liu: Ah!

Fan: (Startled and pointing to Liu) You? You rascal?

Liu: (stands up) Who is the rogue? Can you talk? Many people have misunderstood! This is not a hooligan, this is Liu Mang!

Fan: What about that? That's still a hooligan?

Liu: (looking at Fan, a little angry) Bah! I'll give you a face of slimming tea! (Fan wipes his face with his hand and shakes it) This is Liu's surname, Liu, and this is an empty one, (gesturing with his hand) Liu Mang! You got it?

Fan: Oh, Liu Mang!

Liu: You know me?

Fan: No!

Liu: I don't know you. Oh, save it.

(Two people sit down, silent for a moment, and Liu gets up)

Liu: Hey, how was this (Zeng) week? (Fan stands up) I think you have a good figure (I patted Fan on the shoulder and Fan almost fell down). Shall we make friends?

Fan: All right!

Liu: I have money here.

Fan: (excited) Really? !

Liu: I'll treat you to dinner another day!

Fan: All right!

Liu: How about buying you some noodles?

Fan: A straight face? No, no, no tofu!

Liu: Hey, bean curd brain is suddenly bean curd brain, fart is bigger, and suddenly it's a deal! !

Fan: Ang!

(George W. Bush, Xiao Puding, Huo, Beidaihe. Taking the lecture table as a reference, the above students' location layout: the first row: George W. Bush on the left, pudding on the right; The second row: Qin Ershi on the left and Yang Jingze on the right; The third row: Huo Yuan's legacy on the left and Beidaihe on the right; Row 4: Liu Mang on the left and Vance on the right.

After entering the classroom, the students began to chat. Suddenly someone shouted, "The teacher is coming." So everyone sat down, and Mr. Liu walked solemnly to the lecture table with a math book in his hand.

Miss Liu: Hello, class. I'm your class teacher. My name is Liu. I hope everyone will unite and help each other and study hard in the future. What about the future? (Looking around, I find someone sleeping) Hehe! That classmate! (pointing to Yang Jingze)

Beidaihe: Hey! (Pushing Yang with his hand, Yang wakes up from his sleep and looks at Beidaihe with dim eyes. ) teacher! Yang Jingze: (I didn't hear you clearly) Keys? The key is in the pocket, Tony! (just reaching for the key)

Beidaihe: Teacher!

Yang Jingze: (suddenly stands up, wobbles, quickly puts on his glasses and looks at Mr. Liu) Hello, teacher!

Miss Liu: What's your name?

Yang Jingze: Teacher, my Chinese name is Yang Jingze.

Miss Liu: Do you have a foreign name?

Yang Jingze: My English name is Jingze Y-ang!

Teacher Liu: Why did you sleep when you first came?

Yang Jingze: Teacher! I sleep for a reason (di)!

Miss Liu: What's the reason?

Yang Jingze: Actually, I have summed it up. Sometimes I think, class and sleep are the same (di). The intraocular pressure is closed, the pressure is turned on, and the pressure shift is over. Howl! The intraocular pressure was closed eight times (equivalent to "no"), and the pressure passed in the morning. Howl!

Miss Liu: So you sleep every day?

Yang Jingze: Teacher, I don't sleep every day. Do you know what is the most painful thing in life?

Miss Liu: What?

Yang Jingze: People cook. You're still awake!

Miss Liu: (surprised) Oh, my God!

(Mr. Huo raises his hand, and Mr. Liu signals Yang Jingze to sit down and let Mr. Huo stand up. )

Miss Liu: What's your name?

H: My name is H.

Miss Liu: What?

Huo Yuan's legacy.

(Mr. Liu still didn't hear you clearly, and he was at a loss. )

Qin Ershi: Him? Him? His name is, Huo? Huo? Huo?

Yang Jingze: Oh, my God, where is your Huo Yuanjia?

George W. Bush: Don't be "Huo". His name is Huo!

Miss Liu: Oh, why did you raise your hand just now?

H: Teacher, do you know what is the most painful thing in life?

(Teacher Liu looks at Huo doubtfully)

H: I just haven't finished class yet!

Miss Liu: (startled) Ah!

Yang Jingze: Great! (Two people embrace) It can be seen that (Zhao) is a "fellow villager". (After taking a seat)

Teacher Liu: I didn't expect the students to sum up such brilliant words, which really shocked me! Let's ask the students to introduce themselves. Teacher Liu: (walks to George W. Bush's desk) This classmate, come here!

George W. Bush: (beaming) Teacher, my name is Xiao, and my name is George W. Bush. This name was given to me by my mother (brother). My mother said that this name (pointing back with her hand) sounds good!

Teacher Liu: (echoing voice) It's nice, really nice! (turning to pudding)

Pudding: (Gentle) Teacher, my surname is Xiao, too. My name is pudding!

Teacher Liu: (slightly surprised, but very kind) I quite like pudding ice cream!

George W. Bush: (excited) I like it too!

Miss Liu: (walks to Qin Ershi) This classmate?

Qin Ershi: Old? Old? Teacher, me? Me? Me? I like to eat more!

Miss Liu: Well, what's your name?

Qin Ershi: Me? Me? Me? My last name? Last name Qin?

Teacher Liu: Your name is not Qin Shihuang, is it?

Qin Ershi: No? No? No? No? Don't! Me? Me? What is my name? Qin? Qin? Qin? Qin Ershi!

Miss Liu: (surprised) Qin Ershi? !

Qin Ershi: Old? Old? Teacher, its? Actually, me? Me? Me? Me and you? What about you? What do you say? Talk, right? what's up Is it the same? Same (di)! Miss Liu: (a little silly) Oh!

Miss Liu: (wakes up) What's your name? (Looking at Beidaihe)

Beidaihe: (coldly) Teacher, my name is Bei and my name is Beidaihe!

Yang Jingze: (looking back) Oh, my God, is that a name?

Beidaihe: (staring at Yang Jingze savagely) What name is it if it's not a person's name?

Teacher Liu: (to Yang Jingze) Don't make fun of others! ? Come on, the classmate in the back!

Fan Si: (Throwing the drawing board backwards, standing up and whispering) Oh, teacher, my name is Fan Si!

Miss Liu: You are so gentle. Please sit down!

Liu Mang: (stands up) Teacher, I told you!

Vance: (Stops up to stop Liu Mang) What are you talking about?

Liu Mang: (looking at Vance) Tell me about yourself!

Fan Si: What did you say about introducing yourself? As soon as you say it, Uncle Shoushou will come later!

Teacher Liu: (wondering) What uncle (Shoushou)?

Fan Si: Uncle Shoushou!

Miss Liu: (surprised) And you are?

Liu Mang: I'm Liu Mang (making a fist salute).

Miss Liu: Ah! (dizzy, little pudding holds the teacher)

Vance: Didn't you say Ang?

Liu Mang: I said, what's wrong? Isn't it true that the student didn't faint and Uncle Shoushou didn't come?

Fan 4: The students are not dizzy. Uncle Shoushou didn't come. Where is the teacher? Don't!

Liu Mang: The teacher has left. Go find him!

(Liu Mang and Vance imitate monkeys and look around)

Yang Jingze: (stands up and hums the opening song of Journey to the West) Oh, my God, let's play Journey to the West!

(The teacher stands up)

Fan Si: Hey, the teacher is in Nani! (Pointing to Liu Mang)

Liu Mang: Ha, Miss Ang, your eyes are not good!

Vance: (with a little contempt) Cut!

Miss Liu: Sit down, two students! Alas, the behavior of the students really conforms to the style of our art students! I hope everyone will live in harmony in the future, study hard and build an excellent class group. What did you say?/Sorry?

All students: OK!

Miss Liu: Who are we?

Liu Mang: (stands up and makes a V-shaped gesture of victory) 9 18!

(Others look at Liu Mang in surprise) Say in unison: Huh?

Fan Si: (stands up, reaches out his thumb and forefinger to make a figure-of-eight gesture, and holds his chin) It's August 19th!

Everyone: Oh!

(End of sketch, curtain call! )