Make some ghost stories and jokes

Words in the dark, on the longest ... most terrible road. ...

The taxi driver drove there. ...

There was a woman beckoning to get on the bus ... OK ... It was quiet all the way. ...

Until the woman spoke. ...

She said, "This is an apple for you … It's delicious …" The driver thought it was great … so he took it …

Then I took a bite ... the woman asked, "Is it delicious?"

The driver said, "Delicious!" The woman replied, "I liked apples very much before my death ..."

Wow ...&; * $ # @ ... Hearing this, the driver suddenly braked with fear and turned white. ...

I saw that woman slowly turn her head forward, ....................................................................................................................................................................

Want to know what she said? ……………………………………………………

"But I don't like to eat after giving birth to a child!

2. Dolls

There is a taxi driver who works in a taxi company.

One night, he was driving through a very desolate place, surrounded by darkness; Suddenly I saw a building on the wasteland ahead, with dim lights on. He wants to know when such a building was built here. He saw a young lady beckoning him to take the car home. After the young lady got on the bus, he closed the door and started driving. After a while, he felt very strange. Miss, why don't you talk? As a result, he looked in the mirror and saw that there was no miss, only a doll sitting there. Scared to death, he grabbed the doll and threw it out of the window. After returning home, he was seriously ill.

After his illness, he returned to work in a taxi company. As a result, his colleague said to him, "You are really boring. A beautiful lady came to complain that she wanted to take your car last time. As a result, she just threw the doll in, and you closed the door and drove away. "

3. Ghost fire

On a dark night, a man drove through a graveyard at night. The breeze blew, and the surrounding sounds rustled, making people feel creepy and numb. Just then, he suddenly found a little red light flashing in the distance. His first thought was "jack-o'-lantern". So he carefully picked up a stone and threw it at the lamp. I saw flames swaying behind another grave. What is even more frightening is that he picked up a stone and threw it at the fire, only to see the light fly to another grave. At this point, he is close to collapse. So he picked up another stone and threw it at the lamp. At this moment, I heard a voice from behind the grave: "Shit, who is it? "Shit is not fun. A bag of cigarettes chopped me three times. "

4, damn it

After the Halloween masquerade, two men walked home ... when they passed a cemetery, they wanted to cross it on a whim. When they were halfway through, they were frightened by the sound of drumming. The sound came from a dark place, and they were all frightened. Then they found an old man digging a tombstone with a chisel.

One of them said, "My God, sir, we thought you were a ghost. What are you doing here so late? " The old man scolded, "* * *, they misspelled my name. ! ! ! "

5, the toilet meets a ghost

Chu Yang wants to visit the countryside. When chatting with his relatives, they told him that there were ghosts in the toilet here. However, if you don't pick up things from ghosts, ghosts won't hurt you. May be the cause of acclimatization, at night, Chu Yangxiang's stomach hurts like hell. No way out, Chu Yang had to bite the bullet and go to the toilet on tenterhooks.

Chu Yanggang squatted down and heard the ghost's voice: "Do you want red toilet paper or white toilet paper?"

Knowing that ghosts are unacceptable, Chu Yang replied, "I always use newspapers." It seems that Chu Yangxiang has dysentery. After a while, Chu Yangxiang ran to the toilet again, but this time, he was no longer afraid. Seeing Chu Yang backward, the ghost held out his hand and said, "Wen Wei Po or Morning Post?" "I always use sports newspapers." In the evening, Chu Yang went to the toilet for the third time. "titan sports or Football Daily?" Asked the ghost.

"... I ... I just want to pee. "

6. The complaints of three ghosts

One day when they were shopping, they met God! They told God that they all died miserably and hoped to send them to heaven! God said helplessly, there are too many residents in the sky now, and they are all full. But there's another place! You said, whoever dies the worst will go to heaven!

So, the first ghost began to say ... I was a cleaner before I died. Work is very hard! Busy from morning till night! One day, I was cleaning windows outside a building! It's the kind of dangerous work hanging outside at high altitude! On the 30th floor! Suddenly, my foot slipped and fell! I think it's over! I'm dying! But the survival instinct makes me scratch unconsciously! Luckily, I grabbed the railing of a balcony on 13 floor. I feel saved! So I want to climb up after I recover! Who knows, suddenly someone patted my hand and I fell down again! I think I'm really finished now! However, my life should not be decided, and a tent caught me below. I am glad that I must have accumulated virtue in my last life! I want to wait for my physical strength to recover before I go down. Who knows, a refrigerator fell from it and killed me!

You laughed flat after reading it.

The second ghost said ... I was a clerk before I died. Everything is fine. I have a beautiful wife. Great figure! But it's just a little water. I have a slight heart attack. One day I forgot to bring my medicine to work, so I went home to get it. As soon as I entered the door, I saw my wife's hair disheveled and disheveled. There must be an adulterer. So I looked everywhere in the house, kitchen and toilet, but I couldn't find it. When I got to the balcony, I found two hands on the railing and thought: adulterer! So he patted his hand. I think, 13 floor! See if I can fall to my death! As a result, I didn't die when I looked at it! Caught by the tent! I was in a hurry, so I searched all over the house and went into the kitchen. I found that the refrigerator was big enough and threw it away. Finally smashed him to death! I'm so happy! Laughing a lot. Who knows, laughing so hard, laughing so hard!

The third ghost said ... I'm a punk, but I didn't do anything wrong! One day I went to a female friend's house to hang out! Just finished, her husband suddenly came back! I have to find a place to hide. So I searched the kitchen and toilet, and finally found that their refrigerator was quite big, so I hid in it! I don't understand, how did her husband know I was in the ice box, and he threw the refrigerator from the 13 floor! I just fell to my death in my refrigerator!

7. There are two people.

In a remote village, there is a straight telephone pole on a narrow path. Strange to say, people often have accidents there. Soon a man and a woman were accidentally knocked down by a bicycle and died on the spot. One night, five-year-old Xiao Zhi and her mother passed by on their way home. Xiao Zhi suddenly said, "Mom, there are two people on the telephone pole." Mother took his hand and walked away quickly, saying, "Don't talk nonsense, children!" " "But it soon spread. One day, a reporter came to interview Xiao Zhi and asked him to take him to see the place where the car accident happened. Xiao Zhi generously led him, and the reporter asked, "Where is it?" Xiaozhi pointed to the above.

The reporter looked up and saw a sign hanging on the telephone pole, which read: everyone is responsible for traffic safety.

8. Ghosts took their lives.

Once upon a time there was a man who had a girlfriend. He loves her more than anyone in the world. But one day, his girlfriend left him mercilessly without even giving him a reason. Watching his girlfriend go shopping arm in arm, he was in great pain and lost his mind. Finally one day he killed his girlfriend. He was going to kill her and then kill himself. But when I was dying, I felt the value of life. Since then, he has been haunted by nightmares every day. In the dream, his girlfriend was naked, with long hair fluttering, red tongue hanging down and fingers hooked to kill him. Nightmares tormented him like needles, and one day he found a Taoist priest and begged to get rid of him.

The Taoist asked him to do three things.

First, give his girlfriend a good burial.

Second, burn the pajamas that his girlfriend wore before her death.

Third, wash away the hidden bloody clothes.

Everything must be finished before midnight, or you will be killed!

He did everything carefully according to the orders of the Taoist priest, but the bloody clothes were nowhere to be found. It's almost midnight. Beads of sweat dripped from his face and wet the carpet. He found the bloody clothes in the middle of the night, but no matter how he wiped them, he couldn't wash them off. At this time, there was a sudden strong wind, lightning and thunder. The window was shaken from side to side by the strong wind, and the sound of broken glass made people even more jumpy. Suddenly all the lights went out and the whole room was dark.

In the lightning, I saw his girlfriend wearing bloody pajamas, with blood dripping from her eyes, pointing at him with a ferocious face and a harsh voice: "Do you know why the blood can't be washed away?" He was too scared to say a word.

The girlfriend continued: "Because you are useless to Diao brand washing powder, idiot."