Need a lot of jokes and riddles!

An American, a Frenchman and an China were walking in the desert when they saw a bottle. After opening the cork, a man came out. The man said, "I am a fairy, and I can grant each of you three wishes!" "

The American was the first to say, "My first wish is to ask for a lot of money." The fairy said, "this is simple and will satisfy you!" Tell me about the second wish. " The American said, "I want a lot of money!" " After the fairy fulfilled his wish, the American said his third wish: "Take me home". The fairy said, "No problem." So Americans came back to America with a lot of money.

The fairy asked the Frenchman again. The Frenchman said, "I want beautiful women!" " "The fairy gave him a beautiful woman. The Frenchman said, "I want more beautiful women!" ""The fairy also satisfied him and gave him a beautiful woman. The Frenchman finally said, "Send me back to France. The fairy sent the French back to China and asked the China people what they wanted.

China people said, "Let's start with a bottle of Erguotou. "The fairy gave it to him. Ask him what his second wish is. China people said, "Another bottle of Erguotou!" The fairy asked him what his third wish was. China said, "I miss China and Americans very much. Please get them all back. "

France and the United States are very popular, but they are helpless, so the three of them have to continue to walk.

Walking, I saw another bottle. When I opened the plug, another man came out. The man said, "I am the younger brother of the fairy just now. My magic is not as strong as his. I can only satisfy two wishes of each of you."

The French and Americans think it's better to let China speak first, so as not to be brought back by him later. So China people said, "Let's have a bottle of Erguotou first. "The fairy realized his wish. The French and Americans urged China people to express their second wish as soon as possible. After drinking Erguotou, China people slowly said to the immortal, "It's okay, it's okay, go away."

An American, a Japanese and an China are exploring the jungle. As a result, they were all arrested by cannibal tribes. But the tribal leader said, "I'm in a good mood today. I won't eat you, but you all have to get a hundred boards, but you can have a wish come true before you get a board." "

The American was the first to be hit by the board. He said, "Before hitting the board, put 1 mat on my ass." Mats, boards rained down; In the past, 70 boards were ok. After the 70-board back cushion was smashed and there was blood on the board ... America always left.

When the Japanese saw this, they asked for a 10 mattress. After 1, 2, 3 ... 100, the Japanese got up and patted their ass, nothing happened; Then he boasted about his imitation ability and re-creation ability with a smelly mouth, and wanted to sit in a Chinese drama.

China people slowly get down and say slowly, "Come on, give me the Japanese mat." …

1, mother asked Xiao Ming, "Have you finished reading the book? There will be an exam tomorrow. " Xiao Ming replied, "Mom, I finished reading it." Mother praised: "Then you must do well in the exam tomorrow." Xiao Ming cried and said, "I mean,' Mom, I think it's over'. \r？ A male deer ran faster and faster, and finally became a "highway".

3. The soldier asked the company commander: What should I do if I step on a mine in the battle? The company commander was greatly annoyed: * What can I do? Pay the price for stepping on it.

4. Fire Brigade: Where is the fire? Alarm person: My home. Fire brigade: I mean, where? Policeman: In the kitchen. Fire brigade: I mean, how do we get there? Policeman: Don't you have a fire truck? !

5, boyfriend and girlfriend sleep in a room, the woman draws a clear line: animals cross the border. Woke up and found that the man really didn't cross the line, and the woman slapped the man hard: you are not even as good as an animal!

6. When the nurse saw the patient drinking in the ward, she went over and whispered, "Little darling! "The patient smiled and said," Baby. \"

7. A man is constipated when he goes to the toilet. Suddenly he saw a man rush in, and it was stormy in an instant. "Dude, I really envy you, so fast. \ ""What do you envy? I haven't taken off my pants yet. \ "

8. The tortoise is hurt. Let snails buy medicine. Two hours have passed and the snail hasn't come back yet. The tortoise scolded anxiously: I will die if I don't come back! Then came the voice of a snail outside the door: besides, I'm not going.

9. A foreign football player gave birth to a baby and the whole team went to be baptized. During the baptism, the child accidentally slipped from his mother's hand. At this moment, the goalkeeper jumped on him and caught it. Just as everyone cheered for him, the goalkeeper went over and weighed it with his hand, and then a big foot opened.

10, "Stop getting drunk" and "What's wrong with me? \ ""I tell you! Yesterday, someone saw you chasing a pig with a glass and shouting,' Are you a brother? Brother did it! \r？ 1, the water said, "Let me hold you day and night and never give up!"

The fish said, "Let me lie in your gentle arms and enjoy your care!" "

The pot said, "Ya is almost ripe, and you are still so poor!" " "

12, ants lie lazily in the soil, stretching out one leg, and friends ask you why? Ant: Then the elephant came and tripped him.

13, a pair of lovers were caught by a savage in the mountains and said: I will let you go if I eat each other's shit. The lover did it. On the way home, the woman cried. The man asked her why, and the woman said sadly, you don't love me, otherwise you won't pull so much!

14, on the plane, a parrot said to the stewardess, "Give me a glass of water." The pig followed the parrot's example and said to the stewardess, "Give me a glass of water." The stewardess was furious and threw the parrot and pig off the plane. At this time, the parrot said to the pig, "You are stupid, I can fly."

15, an old farmer was hoeing in the field when a crow flew over and took a shit and landed on the old farmer's face. The old farmer looked up and cursed: "Cao, you mother! I don't know how to wear shorts when I go out! " The crow said, "Cao! You shit and wear underpants! "

16, 20 years ago, dad held you waiting for the bus. Everyone laughed at the ugly child, and dad cried. An old man selling bananas patted his father and said, "Don't cry, big brother, give the monkey a banana!" " ! Poor thing, I'm so hungry that I have no hair. \"

17, just a gust of wind, just so eternal, just a dream, just so real, you bowed your head and said nothing, but I couldn't calm down. I finally can't help telling you, let me know the next time you fart!

18, someone was riding a bicycle and heard a passerby shout: Go, Go, Go … I thought to myself, Damn it, I can sing: Oh, Le, Le, Le … I plunged into the ditch and didn't fall. Passers-by scolded: Shit! Let me tell you something, Gou Gou, do you still ride horses? ! You deserve to fall to death!