The funniest joke is urgent! ! ! ! ! !

A couple of lovers were caught by a savage in the mountains and said that you would let you go if you ate each other's shit.

The lover did it. On the way home, the woman cried. The man asked her why, and the woman said sadly, you don't love me, otherwise you wouldn't pull so much.

One day, Qian, who was too drunk in the wine field, mistakenly entered the ladies' room and vomited in the carriage. At this time, a lady went to the toilet to pee. When Qian heard the sound of her urinating, he mistakenly thought that someone was pouring beer and said angrily, "I said I wouldn't drink it." Who is falling? " The lady was shocked, so she held back her urine and wanted to wait until the money was gone. Unexpectedly, she farted. Hearing this, Mr. Qian was furious, patted the partition with his hand and shouted, "I said I wouldn't drink it, but who opened another bottle?" Who starts drinking first! "

In the cold winter, two beggars wandered in the street.

"I'm so hungry, I feel like I can eat a cow now!" Beggar a said.

"Me too. I'm starving. If the pole in front of us can eat, I can definitely eat from the root to the top. " Beggar b is not to be outdone.

They passed a pub, and I don't know who was drunk in the pub. Maybe the wind cooled the stomach and left vomit in front of the pub. Two beggars stared blankly at the vomit.

"To tell you the truth, I really want to eat this vomit." Beggar A just said.

"I'm hungry too, but that's someone else's vomit. It's disgusting. " Beggar b is a little embarrassed.

"I don't care, do you eat or not?" , a beggar asked.

"It's disgusting. If you don't eat, you will be a beggar! " Beggar b is righteous and upright.

"Can I eat alone? ! "After that, Beggar A leaned down and began to eat vomit.

After a while, beggar A finished eating, and the two continued to stroll forward.

It may be the winter. The vomit is too cold. Beggar A's stomach seemed a little overwhelmed, but he still held back, but it was vomit after all. Beggar a can't help feeling sick at the thought. Beggar B is even more hungry and has some regrets.

After a while, beggar A couldn't help it. "Wow ... wow ..." Beggar A also vomited.

At this time, Beggar B quickly leaned down and began to eat Beggar A's vomit.

"Hey, hey, aren't you sick? Why do you also eat vomit? " Beggar a asked puzzled.

"Idiot, I have principles. I only eat spicy food. Besides, isn't this stall more than that just now? " ,

Beggar b said without looking up.

A well-dressed man went to the bar and ordered a martini. He found a disheveled drunk sitting next to him, mumbling and studying what he was holding. When the drunk took what he was holding under the lamp, the man couldn't help but look around. The drunk muttered, "Well, it looks like plastic." Then he rubbed it with his fingers and said, "But it feels like rubber." A curious man sitting next to him asked, "What do you have?" The drunk replied, "Damn, I know, but it looks like plastic and feels like rubber." The man then said, "May I have a look?" The drunk showed him something. The man turned this thing over with his thumb and forefinger and studied it carefully: "Yes, it does look like plastic but feels like rubber, but I don't know what it is." Where did you get this thing? " The drunk replied, "It's in my nostrils!" "

When I got up in the morning, my brother saw a bottle on the table with "cereal" in it, so he ate it for breakfast. At this time, my brother came back from morning exercise, washed and combed, sat at the table for pedicure, and suddenly asked my brother, have you seen the bottle I put on the table, and where is the foot I saved? ...

The winter nights in northern China are very cold, and there are often excrement pagodas frozen into Yan 'an pagodas in the pits of outdoor toilets. Self-study class last night,/kloc-class ended at 0/0. I went to the toilet with some friends. When I was near the door of the toilet, I saw the vice president of the school, Liu Fatty, rushing into the toilet. It is estimated that he has a stomachache. He had just entered the toilet for half a minute when he heard a scream. We dare not go in. After a while, I saw several senior students carrying President Liu, who was showing weight. It turned out that fatty Liu squatted down and was poked by the frozen excrement tower. Later, I heard that it was a second-degree disability, and the teacher asked us to chip in to buy condolences. She went to have a look.

A construction worker went to see a doctor because of severe constipation.

The doctor checked and said, "It's very simple. Get on the bed! 」

Then the doctor took out a wooden stick and gave the builder a good ass with all his strength.

Grab another builder and throw it in the toilet!

The builder wailed for a long time, and gradually his voice dropped and he gave a happy laugh.

The contented builder went out of the toilet and thanked the doctor.

The doctor made a prescription and asked the builder to get the medicine. As a result, he got a big bag of toilet paper.

The female pharmacist kindly told him, "The doctor asked me to tell you to use toilet paper instead of cement bags after going to the toilet."

Two vampires went to a bar. One asked for a glass of arterial blood, and the other asked for a glass of boiled water. The boss asked him why he didn't drink blood. He took out a used sanitary towel and said, Dude, have tea tonight!