Liu Baorui's classic essay "Return to the boat after the storm" (original words)

Liu Baorui's classic joke "Return to the ship after the storm" is as follows:

In the old society, all rich people had money. His money is particularly easy to get. Why? It is not difficult to make money. Hey, don't look at it. Easy come, easy go.

There is such a thing. In the early years of the Republic of China, there was a rich man in Xicheng, Beijing. His surname is Hua, his first name and the source of flowers. Farewell means "wasting money" and people call it Mr. Hua.

His family took advantage of money, but he didn't spend a penny on the poor! Born unlucky. Love spending money!

What does he spend? In the third year of the Republic of China, he spent two thousand yuan on four gourds-a bag of flour was only one yuan and eighty cents at that time-as toys, and he spent the money. Otherwise, how can it be called spending money? The poor can't touch him for a penny. If someone draws a circle to cheat him, that's fine. Otherwise, it's useless.

At that time, there was a famous swindler named Zhi Duoxing, who cheated him of 50,000 yuan. Zhiduoxing rented a big house in Dongcheng, and all the antique toys and furniture in the house were rented for money. The wife, young lady, cook, servant girl and servant in the family are all paid! Set up a scam and wait for the money, boss! These stars are wandering around, asking people to get close to Mr. Hua and make friends.

Please have dinner today and go to the opera tomorrow. In a few days, they really made friends.

One day, it rained heavily and Mr. Hua was sitting at home. The wise multi-star came to ask for permission and drove Mr. Hua to their house for dinner-all rented. "Sir Zhong, please come to my house for a light meal."

"Have a meal? Ok, ok, go at once. "

When I got to the living room, I looked at the decoration in the room and the calligraphy and painting on the wall and said to myself, hey! Wider than me, much more exquisite than my home! Where did he know that? They are all rented! During the conversation, Zhi Duoxing said, "Sir, many generations of our ancestors liked antique calligraphy and painting. I heard that you also have this hobby, which is rare. There is an ancient painting in my home, and I specially ask you to identify it today. "

"Ancestral ancient paintings, oh, great. I have this honor today, so I have to pay my respects. "

Zhiduoxing went to the back room and took out a photo. Open it. What is this? Return to the boat after the storm. There is a mountain in the background and a river in front. There is a boat and a wooden bridge in the river. In the middle of the bridge, there is a child with an umbrella.

This painting shows the meaning of the storm. The child is crossing the bridge with an umbrella, as if the wind is strong and struggling. Mr. Hua said "good" after reading the painting. When Zhiduoxing saw the door, he quickly said, "It's a good painting, but I don't know where it was made and who made it?"

Seeing this, the old lady came in: "Well, uncle, the wine and rice are all ready."

"Ok, serve!" I rolled up this scroll and put it on the long table. Move the square table forward and sit down. Cook, mom, bowl to bowl, wine to withdraw, tea to serve. This meal lasted more than two hours. After supper, the rain stopped outside. Zhi Duoxing took the words before dinner: "Sir Zhong, what do you think of this painting just now?" "Well, I just didn't see which direction."

"Look again."

I took the painting and unfolded it. When I looked at it again, I still couldn't see the dynasty. The painting is old enough and the paper is yellow. On the edge of the grass under the bridge is the author's signature: He Mingsan. Well, when I looked up again, Mr. Hua asked herself doubtfully, "No, I didn't eat until I saw the child crossing the bridge with an umbrella." Why does he clip it up now? " He gasped and scratched his head!

"Or how to say it is a family heirloom.

At first, you looked at it with an umbrella. Yes, it's raining outside. Since it is raining outside, the umbrella is put away. There's something strange about heirlooms. As long as it rains outside, you can look at the painting again, and this umbrella will start; The umbrella was put away as soon as the rain stopped. "(to the audience) Do you think so?

Hearing this, Mr. Hua believed it! Gee, this is a treasure.

Because of what? He has this hobby. Mr. Hua's heart moved and he wanted to buy this painting, but it was inconvenient to say so. After he went back, he still let some friends buy it. Zhiduoxing is still alive, not for sale.

Mr. Hua pleaded and invited him to dinner. Zhi Duoxing nodded reluctantly and asked for100000. Mr. Hua is reluctant to part with it because the price is too high. After repeated negotiations, he finally agreed to buy the painting for 50 thousand yuan.

It was sunny when I bought this painting, but it didn't rain. Of course, the child's umbrella was caught. I'm glad to be back. After reading it for a while, I immediately wrote an invitation to invite friends and relatives to dinner to celebrate the acquisition of this ancient painting. He wrote this invitation in a special way: we may have more days! When is the treat? Come whenever it rains. What are you doing? Just to see this photo when it rains.

As a result, it rained cats and dogs one day and all relatives and friends came. Mr. Hua's face was beaming: "Ladies and gentlemen, I bought an ancient painting, which is a family heirloom. He gave it to me reluctantly. Let me tell you first, when I bought this painting, the children's umbrella on the bridge was clamped, but when it rains outside, the children's umbrella will be played; If it clears up, the umbrella will be put away.

Look, it's raining outside now, and the children are all holding umbrellas. As soon as the rain stops, put away the umbrella and clip it up. "After listening to his words, everyone was surprised and gathered around.

When the painting unfolded, Mr. Hua was shocked: Why is this umbrella still there? One asked him, "Sir Zhong, didn't you say you should take an umbrella when it rains? Why is he still holding it? " He blushed and asked him, "This, this rain is not too heavy. Let's roll it up and wait for a while. ? "-Will that thing be boring for a while? This is not nonsense!

After a while, it rained harder outside. Wow ... everyone said, let's take a look. Open it and have a look. Wow, that umbrella is still clamped. After a while, the rain stopped. Look at the umbrella. It's still clamped. Everyone was embarrassed to say anything and left after dinner. Mr. Hua was angry: "What a clever man! The liar lied to me!" " Go find him. "

Look on the Upper East Side. As usual, if the scam succeeds, you will have to run away as soon as you get the money. Hi, I haven't left yet. I'm still waiting there. Why, wait to make him angry! People have something to say Mr. Hua found Zhiduoxing: "You are not a friend enough. Let me spend 50 thousand yuan on a piece of waste paper. How can you lie to me? "

"Sir Zhong, what did I cheat you?"

"What a little lied to me? Didn't you say it was painted under the umbrella when it rained and caught in the middle when it didn't rain? It's raining so hard under an umbrella. Aren't you lying? "

Zhiduoxing listened to the music: "Sir Zhong, how can this be a lie to you? I asked you for100000, but you want 50000? "

"Why, 50,000 dollars won't work?"

"This is not ineffective.

You don't understand. I said100000 yuan. You should buy a set. "

"What do you mean a set of wow?"

"A set. There are two sets: one with an umbrella and the other with an umbrella. When it rains, look at this; Look at that if it doesn't rain! " .

Extended data:

Liu Baorui's Artistic Style

Liu Baorui often performs stand-up crosstalk, which is both artistic and literary.

His stand-up crosstalk has been studied and pondered by his counterparts in southern folk art, inherited the tradition, absorbed the artistic skills of southern monologue and criticism, and borrowed the performance techniques of movies and dramas. Through long-term performance practice, the unique artistic style of "making life meticulous and porcelain solid" and "bearing a burden" has gradually formed, which is implicit, harmonious, inclusive, emotional and spiritual.

Therefore, he is known as "stand-up king of comedy" and "cold comedian". Liu Baorui was also a pioneer in introducing the northern crosstalk art to audiences in Jiangnan, Hong Kong and Macao. ?

Liu Baorui is familiar with historical anecdotes and has rich social knowledge. He is good at describing the social environment and background of the times to set off people and events. Liu Baorui emphasized the combination of language, eyes and facial expressions on the stage, supplemented by gestures, and carefully designed the cadence of each line. Through long-term stage practice, he can be fluent but not harsh, simple and quick, and form a steady and elegant artistic style with delicate timbre.

Baidu Encyclopedia-"The Wind and Rain Return to the Boat"

Baidu Encyclopedia-Liu Baorui