Know separation. There is only one request. Tell a joke that will make me laugh for a long time. . I am in a bad mood. Ok, keep adding.

1. There is a seasoning. He idled around all day, so he became salt.

2. One day, Nokia and iPhone agreed to go shopping together. When I came back, I became Noka and Phone .Motorola. When they saw it, they were shocked: Where is your I? Noka whispered to the phone: we heard someone singing "as long as everyone gives me a little …" in the street, so …

Please make sentences with boss, second child, third child and fourth child! The most awesome sentence: the third tells the fourth that the second brother of the third is the boss!

A rabbit harassed a wolf and then ran away. The wolf chased him angrily. Seeing that the wolf was about to catch up, the rabbit sat down under a tree, put on sunglasses, read the newspaper and pretended that nothing had happened. At this time, the wolf came and saw the rabbit sitting under the tree. He asked, "Have you seen a rabbit run by?" The rabbit replied, "Did the rabbit tease the wolf?" The wolf shouted, "No way! It was reported so soon! ! ! "

5. The library, an ordinary-looking woman, has been reading on the table for a long time. Then I struggled to sit up and take out my little mirror. Stare for a long time and say, look at you! I am not beautiful and I don't study hard! ! What to do in the future! ! After that, I was full of energy.

6. A lumberjack went to apply for a job. Foreman: Try the forest ahead ... and see how many trees you can cut down in a minute. After a minute, foreman: Wow, 20 trees a minute. It's amazing. Where did you work before? Worker: Sahara forest.

7. The primary school art teacher asked everyone to draw what they liked. A child really didn't know what to draw, so he secretly glanced at his deskmate and saw him scribbling on white paper with black crayons. After painting one side, he painted the other side, and finally both sides were blacked out. Students can't help asking: What did you draw? ... "Porphyra"

8. My computer password is: Fuck you, and then my boss wanted to use my computer yesterday, and then asked me to send the password to his mobile phone. ...

9. On my way home from work yesterday, I chatted with my colleagues. She told me that her husband was a pig, but he was born at the end of the year, which should be regarded as a pig's tail ... I immediately got hot-headed, and a sentence that I regretted for life blurted out loudly and excitedly: "I am a pig's head!" ...

10. An American, traveling in China, accidentally fell into a ditch by the side of the road and said angrily: In America, red flags will be erected in dangerous places! The tour guide smiled: didn't you see it when you entered the country?

1 1. There is a football match on TV, and the players are entering the stadium. The wife put down the newspaper and watched TV for a while. She said to her husband, "The newspaper says that some players and their wives have chaotic private lives. Today, this is true. " The husband said, "That's off-site. What can you see on the court? " The wife pointed at the TV and said, "Look at these players and their children. None of them look alike. "

12. Why is the sea blue? Because fish will spit bubbles when swimming in the water, blue ... blue. ...

13. Apple laid off employees when its performance was poor in a certain year. The employees were very angry and said that the CEO's mistake should be borne by us. They held a sign that we need to work and sat in front of the company. A few days later, the board decided that Jobs would remain as CEO.

14. Xiao Ming gave his girlfriend a gift, and her girlfriend took it, looked at it and said it was broken. Xiao Ming was startled: how to break the new one? The girlfriend said, "Look, it says: podi in Pinyin." Xiao Ming: "Dear,-_-You have it backwards!" "

15. Hold a party. Our program is the chorus "We are all a family". Before taking the stage, my brother encouraged everyone to say, "You should be as calm as me, and don't be nervous." As a result, more than a dozen people took to the stage with neat steps. Brother personally announced the curtain call: "Give a chorus for everyone. The name of this song is "We are all human beings".

16. A buddy in the dormitory bought a new T-shirt with a line of letters I C I S B O Y on the back. One day in class, another partner and his girlfriend sat behind it and studied what this maternal love line meant. This guy said to understand "I'm Cao, I'm a boy", but his girlfriend said, "It should be Cao, I'm sb, oh yeah!" ..............

17. A man needs 65,438+10,000 yuan to buy a car, but this man only brought 9998, just two dollars short! Suddenly, he found a beggar at the door and said to him, "Please give me two yuan. I want to buy a car! " After hearing this, the beggar generously took out 4 yuan money and handed it to the man, saying, "Help me buy one, too." "

18. Chris Lee and Sister Furong fell into the water at the same time. You have a brick in your hand. Who did you hit? Violent reply: who saves who.

19. 10-year-old sister is eating with relish in the yard with a bag of crispy rice. The neighbor's five-year-old brother watched eagerly. He was embarrassed to say that he wanted to eat, so he asked his sister, is it crisp? I think this boy is quite subtle, and then there is a classic scene-my sister took a piece and put it in her mouth and said, listen. . .

20. When I was a member of QQ, the function of "group" came into being. I think this should be the same as grouping, which is convenient for managing friends, so I built a' mm' group, and added MM with good relationship, ambiguity and promising signs to ............................ one by one. Later, I was miserable.

2 1. My deskmate said to me, "I have met a terrible thing!" I asked, "What is it?" He replied, "One day I dreamed that I was taking an exam." I said, "nightmare, nothing." He went on to say, "Then I woke up and found that I was really taking an exam!" " Me: ". . . . "

22. I saw a girl's QQ signature: Never give up, which silently translated in my mind as: Never again.

23. One day when I was shopping, I heard two PL little MM talking. One of them suddenly said "the chrysanthemum itches", and suddenly my eggs hurt. Just as my brother cast an adoring look, another MM said, "The mimosa I planted is also very easy to raise." At that time, my face was covered with cows.

24. In the first grade of primary school, once in a quiet class, I saw the classmate sitting in front of me quietly holding his ass with his hand, then quietly holding his tight hand out of the window and quietly opening it in the wind ... More than ten years have passed, and I have never seen such a person with public morality.

25. There is a little wolf. Oh, when he was born, he didn't eat meat. He was a vegetarian. His parents are very worried. As a result, my parents were very pleased to see the little wolf chasing the rabbit one day. Then the little wolf grabbed the rabbit and said, give me the carrot! ……

26. I was a little nervous talking to my female colleagues at work yesterday about driving. The female colleague said, "Yes, when I was driving, I stepped on the brakes in my dream at night and woke my husband up."

I didn't know if my head was caught in the door, so I casually asked, "Do you want to change gears in your dreams?" At that time, there was a silence in the office and then a burst of laughter.

27. Brother Penguin is dating Sister Penguin. Brother Penguin dressed up and wore a straight suit in order to make a good impression on his sister Penguin. Sister Penguin saw it and slapped her brother Penguin in the face: "Shit, let you be a member! Shit, let you be a member! ! "

28. The aluminum pot at home leaked, and my son and I took it to fix it. After reading it, the master said, "Change the bottom of the pot to 15 yuan." My son whispered to me, "Dad, we don't change trains here. The hot pot restaurant opposite is' free at the bottom of the pot'. "

29. At the New Year's Eve, some tables have famous brands, and everyone else can sit casually. Then I heard a woman say, "Go and sit in the front, where there is your memorial tablet." I suddenly collapsed. ...

30. One day, Pig Bajie finally couldn't stand being laughed at for his monster appearance and made up his mind to have a facelift. He went to Korea to be a handsome boy without telling his master. After that, he became more confident and ran to the bar to see if anyone could recognize him. He saw a beautiful woman and went to strike up a conversation: Beauty, do you know who I am? Between you and me, I'm actually a pig! The beauty said in surprise: second brother, I am your brother Sha?

3 1. One day I visited the snack street and found a shop selling egg towers. Each kind looks delicious. I want to buy one to try. I asked the clerk: Is this sold separately? Shop assistant: No, it's Japanese.

32. A priest was walking in the Woods when a bear suddenly appeared. The bear is obviously hungry. When he saw the priest, he rushed over. Frightened, the priest prayed loudly, "God, help me, please turn this bear into a Christian." The bear coming towards him suddenly stopped. Two seconds later, Xiong Gao raised his hands and said, "Thank God for the food."

Chatting with my boyfriend, when it comes to rising, my saliva splashed all over his face. Then instinctively wipe it off by hand. I was a little embarrassed, but I deliberately shifted my focus and pretended to be angry: "What? Don't like me, "he said with a gentleman's smile. "No, wipe it evenly!"

One day, you met a lion. You pretended to be calm and stared at the lion with terrible eyes. Suddenly, the lion folded his hands and knelt down. You said proudly, you know it's great! Later, the lion faint tunnel: after praying, you can eat.