Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Let Chu return to China to write a composition.
Let Chu return to China to write a composition.
Time: Late Spring and Autumn Period
Location: Chu State
Character: Yan Zi (Doctor Qi)
King Chu (King Chu)
Samurai (Samurai of Chu)
One day, the King of Qi sent a doctor and asked his son to command the State of Chu. The king of Chu insulted Yan Zi three times, trying to show the prestige of Chu. In order to safeguard the dignity of himself and the country, he wisely retreated. On the way, Yan Zi may be wondering what problems the King of Chu will have to spite me.
Yan Zi came to the State of Chu, and the king of Chu opened a five-foot hole next to the city gate. Yan Zi said, "This is a dog hole, not a city gate. Only by visiting the dog country can you enter from the dog hole unless you admit that your country is a dog country. " The receptionist immediately told Yan Zi's words to the King of Chu. The king of Chu had to order the gate to be opened wide to meet Yan Zi.
Yan Zi met the King of Chu, who gave him a look and sneered: Is there no one in Qi?
Yan Zi (serious face) What is this? Linzi, the capital of China, is full of people. Everyone lifted their sleeves and there was another cloud. Everyone was sweating, and there was another shower. Pedestrians in the street rubbed their shoulders and their toes touched their heels. How did the King of Qi say that there was no one in Qi?
King Chu, since there are so many people, why did you come?
Yan Zi (pretending to be embarrassed) said: I really can't answer your question. Tell a lie for fear of committing the crime of deceiving the monarch. To tell the truth, I'm afraid the king will be angry.
King Chu, there is a rule in our country: go to the first-class country, send the first class, go to the second-class country, and send the second class. I am the most useless, so I was sent here. He smiled deliberately, so the king of Chu had to accompany him. )
King Chu (arranged a banquet for Yan Zi) Just as they were having fun, two warriors walked under the hall with a prisoner. What crime did the prisoner commit? Where is he from!
Samurai commit theft and are Qi people.
King Chu (smiling) How could the people of Qi be so worthless and do such a thing?
Hearing this, the ministers of Chu all laughed happily, thinking that this would embarrass Yan Zi.
Yan Zi (stands up and says with a straight face) Why doesn't your majesty know about this? The citrus in Huainan is big and sweet, but when a citrus species comes to Huaibei, it can only produce small and bitter oranges. Isn't it because the water and soil are different? By the same token, people in Qi can live and work in peace and contentment in Qi, and become thieves in Chu. Maybe the water and soil in the two countries are different.
King Chu (had to apologize and say) wanted to make fun of the doctor, but I didn't expect the doctor to make fun of me.
Yan Zi used his cleverness to make the dumb king of Chu eat Rhizoma Coptidis, and he couldn't say how bitter it was. In addition, from then on, the king of Chu dared not disrespect Yan Zi.
2. Fighting with Chu for the first time after returning to China.
The king of Chu seized Yan Zi's short stature, closed the city gate, and dug a pit five feet high to let Yan Zi into the city, so as to insult Yan Zi and achieve the purpose of insulting Qi State. Yan Zi was supercilious, silent, playing along, and countered the king of Chu with a method of the king of Chu. His words are clear. As long as the king of Chu admits that his country is a dog country, he will drill a dog hole. If the king of Chu says his country is not a dog country, he should open the gate. Finally, the king of Chu had to open the city gate. This time, Yan Zi didn't see the King of Chu, so he gave him a head-on blow.
The second battle of wits
The king of Chu used Qi as an excuse to satirize Yan Zi's incompetence and Qi's incompetence. In the face of the insult of the king of Chu to himself and the country, Yan Zi once again righteously replied to the king of Chu: There are too many people in the State of Qi to accommodate, how can it be said that there is no one in the State of Qi? Then seriously belittle yourself, and then belittle the king of Chu and Chu. On the surface, it seems that I am embarrassed by my incompetence. In fact, it was in this quiet affectation that he hit back at the king of Chu, making him "dumb to eat Rhizoma Coptidis-you can't tell the pain."
The third battle of wits
The king of Chu mocked Qi people for being worthless, but Yan Zi quoted a well-known phenomenon in Chu, and proved by the same token that Qi people could live and work in peace and contentment in Qi, and became thieves when they arrived in Chu, because the soil and water in the two countries were different.
The king of Chu insulted Yan Zi three times. The first two times were full of provocation and ridicule for Yanzi's short stature, and it was extremely unreasonable to call Dr. Qi "you". Later, he pointed to Qi. "How can Qi people be so worthless and do such a thing?" The mocking language is even more unscrupulous. In the face of such arrogant insults, Yan Zi stepped forward, calmly responded and tactfully countered. As a result, the king of Chu was defeated again and again and had to admit defeat.
In the war of words between Yanzi and the king of Chu, one is a witty, resourceful and courageous messenger who defends national dignity; One is the arrogant king, who wins and loses, who is good and who is bad. Obviously, the king of Chu didn't beat Yan Zi, and he had other plans in his heart.
One day, the king of Chu invited Yan Zi to go hunting and horse racing in the suburbs, and Yan Zi agreed.
The king of Chu took Yan Zi to his horse farm. Yan Zi patted the horse and touched it. He liked it very much. Just as he was about to get on the horse, the king of Chu took him and told him to ride a horse that didn't look like a horse, and the donkey didn't look like a donkey.
Yan Zi asked the king of Chu, "My Lord, why did you give me a monster like a horse and a mount like a donkey?" The king of Chu felt that Yan Zi had taken the bait and said, "This monster was left behind by horses and donkeys, and none of us can tame it. I heard that Qi people are good at training horses. I want to take the doctor exam. I wonder if you can tame it? "
Everyone thought Yan Zi would be laughed at, so they secretly laughed. I didn't know Yan Zi's face didn't change color. He replied, "Your Majesty, with all due respect, Qi also has this kind of monster. Although we tamed it, we can't figure out where this monster came from. Now we finally understand that this thing comes from Chu. "
At this time, a knowledgeable man came over and saw the monster and said, "At this time, mules are stupid and ugly animals among animals." Hearing this, the king of Chu felt a little ashamed. Even this thing can't be tamed. It's no use.
After listening to this, Yan Zi pushed his luck and said, "I heard that Chu people are all like his mounts." The king of Chu blushed.
The king of Chu was convinced and gave Yanzi a good horse.
After Chu returned to China, he wrote a 450-word composition. Yan Zi let Wang Chu know about it. He said: Yan Yingshan learns Chinese characters. Now [] a skilled man wants me to humiliate him []. What should I do? He said:' Who' said:' Qi' said:' Why sit [sit].
From the state of Yan to the king of Chu, he gave me wine and two officials bound me. The king said, "What do you mean by those girls who bound me?" He said, "Sit together and steal from the king." Qi Jiashan stole the face and avoided the seat. Leaving your seat means solemnity. The seats in the ancient waiting shop are called seats, saying that "babies smell Huainan oranges, Huaibei oranges, Huaibei oranges" (zh ǐ)] When people steal Chu, they steal [] Mo Chu's soil and water, which makes people good thieves. Wang said with a smile, "Peace in the sanctuary is a joke." Saint refers to Yan Xitong's frolicking, playing with little meaning, but getting sick.
4. Composition: After Yan Zi sent an envoy to Chu to return to China, he thought that at the end of the Spring and Autumn Period, once the King of Qi sent Yan Zi to Chu, and the King of Chu wanted to insult Yan Zi and show the prestige of Chu.
Wu Chu knew Yanzi was short and wanted him to get into the newly opened 5-foot-high hole. Yan Zi said this was a dog hole, not a city gate. You can only drill a dog hole to' Dog Country'.
The king of Chu was helpless, so he had to ask the National People's Congress to open the gate and welcome him in. When Yan Zi met the king of Chu, the king of Chu satirized Yan Zi's incompetence.
Yan Zi solemnly explained the rules of the State of Qi. He visited first-class countries, sent first-class people, visited second-class countries and sent second-class people. He is the most useless and can only be sent to Chu. King Chu didn't get a bargain this time.
One day, at a banquet hosted by the King of Chu for Yan Zi, the King of Chu deliberately asked people to escort prisoners under the hall, saying that they were robbers of Qi State, so as to tell Yan Zi that the people of Qi State were worthless and all engaged in theft. Yan Zi immediately pointed out that the same orange tree bears different fruits in different places, because soil and water are different.
The people of Qi can live and work in peace and contentment in Qi, but they will become thieves in Chu, because this place is not good. King Chu lost again.
From then on, the king of Chu dared not disrespect Yan Zi.
5. "Yan Zi makes Chu" continue to write homework. The king of Chu was very angry. He returned to the palace and said angrily, "Give me a prescription and deal with that Yan Zi quickly. This tone is really unbearable. "
The minister of the king of Chu thought and thought, and finally came up with a way. One day, the king of Chu personally came to the inn where Swallow lived, pretending to be sincere and modest, and said, "Lord Swallow, I have offended many adults the other day. I hope there will be many adults."
While the weather is fine today, I know that your people like riding and hunting. Your honor, please. Let's go to the countryside for horse racing and hunting. what do you think? "This quickly got up and said," since the king of Chu has such good pleasure, it is better to be respectful and obedient, so go with the king of Chu! "They must have come to the racecourse. The people at the racetrack took a horse to Yanzi. Yan Zi looked at the horse. The horse is not like a horse or a donkey, and smiled.
Pointing at the king of Chu, he said, "Is this the only kind of horse in Chu?" But the king of Chu snorted without thinking, and blushed when he understood the meaning of this sentence. However, the so-called "a word from a gentleman, a forgotten horse".
The king of Chu had to have the horse brought back. The donkey was not like a horse, so he changed to the tall red rabbit horse. The game began, and the king of Chu was used to riding horses. As soon as he heard the drums, he whipped the strange thing and said, "fight."
The monster was hurt by the king of Chu and fell angrily. At this time, when Yan Zi walked leisurely by the king of Chu, the king of Chu really wanted to find a hole to drill in. The following year, Yan Zi was ordered by the King of Qi to visit Chu. Chu immediately issued an announcement, which read: "Yan Zi has arrived, and the whole army is welcoming him. No one is allowed to enter or leave the city gate."
When Yan Zi came to the palace, the king of Chu saw that he was unhappy and asked, "Why are you unhappy?" Yan Zi said, "People are equal. They are all flesh and blood. Why are you so kind to me? " The king of Chu replied, "You are the doctor of Qi, and you sent messengers to our country. How can I treat you badly? " Yan Zi replied, "Why did you have a completely different attitude last time and this time? It must be because of your strong self-esteem? " The king of Chu did not answer for a moment, and then changed the subject: "I built a garden. Please visit it, doctor. "
He took Yan Zi to the garden. Yan Zi walked around the garden, wrote the word "live" on the gate without saying anything, and left.
The king of Chu asked his men to guess. No one can guess.
The last minister guessed right. It is a "wide" word.
The meaning of this word came out. The king of Chu sighed, "Yan Zi is really talented!" The king of Chu didn't beat Yan Zi, but he had another plan in his heart.
One day, the king of Chu invited Yan Zi to go hunting and horse racing in the suburbs, and Yan Zi agreed. The king of Chu took Yan Zi to his horse farm.
Yan Zi patted the horse and touched it. He liked it very much. Just as he was about to get on the horse, the king of Chu took him and told him to ride a horse that didn't look like a horse, and the donkey didn't look like a donkey. Yan Zi asked the king of Chu, "My Lord, why did you give me a monster like a horse and a mount like a donkey?" The king of Chu felt that Yan Zi had taken the bait and said, "This monster was left behind by horses and donkeys, and none of us can tame it.
It is said that people in Qi are good at training horses. I want to take a doctor's degree. I wonder if you can tame it? "Everyone thought it would be a joke, so they all secretly laughed. I didn't know Yan Zi's face didn't change color. He replied, "Your Majesty, with all due respect, Qi also has this kind of monster.
Although we tamed it, we can't figure out where this monster came from. Now we finally know that it comes from Chu. "At this moment, a knowledgeable man came over, saw the monster and said," At this moment, the mule is a stupid and ugly animal among animals. "
Hearing this, the king of Chu felt a little ashamed. Even this thing can't be tamed. It's no use. After listening to this, Yan Zi pushed his luck and said, "I heard that Chu people are all like his mounts."
The king of Chu blushed. The king of Chu was convinced and gave Yanzi a good horse.
6. "Yan Zi makes Chu" continue to write homework. The king of Chu was very angry. He returned to the palace and said angrily, "Give me a prescription and deal with that Yan Zi quickly. This tone is really unbearable. " The minister of the king of Chu thought and thought, and finally came up with a way. One day, the king of Chu personally came to the inn where Swallow lived, pretending to be sincere and modest, and said, "Lord Swallow, I have offended many adults the other day. I hope there will be many adults." While the weather is fine today, I know that your people like riding and hunting. Please do me a favor. Let's go to the suburbs for horse racing and hunting. what do you think? Yan Zi quickly stood up and said, "Since the King of Chu has such good intentions, it is better to be respectful than obedient, so go with the King of Chu!"! "They must have come to the racecourse. The people at the racetrack took a horse to Yanzi. Yan Zi looked at the horse. The horse is not like a horse or a donkey, and smiled. Pointing at the king of Chu, he said, "Is this the only kind of horse in Chu?" The king of Chu snorted without thinking, and blushed when he understood the meaning of this sentence. However, the so-called "a word from a gentleman, a forgotten horse". The king of Chu had to have the horse brought back. The donkey was not like a horse, so he changed to the tall red rabbit horse. The game began, and the king of Chu was used to riding horses. As soon as he heard the drums, he whipped the strange thing and said, "fight." The monster was hurt by the king of Chu and fell angrily. At this time, Yan Zi was walking leisurely by the king of Chu, who really wanted to find a hole to get into.
In the second year, Yan Zi went to the State of Chu on the orders of the King of Qi. Chu immediately issued an announcement, which read: "Yan Zi has arrived, and the whole army is welcoming him. No one is allowed to enter or leave the city gate."
When Yan Zi came to the palace, the king of Chu saw that he was unhappy and asked, "Why are you unhappy?" Yan Zi said, "People are equal. They are all flesh and blood. Why are you so kind to me? " The king of Chu replied, "You are the doctor of Qi, and you sent messengers to our country. How can I treat you badly? " Yan Zi replied, "Why did you have a completely different attitude last time and this time? It must be because of your strong self-esteem? " The king of Chu did not answer for a moment, and then changed the subject: "I built a garden. Please visit it, doctor. " He took Yan Zi to the garden.
Yan Zi walked around the garden, wrote the word "live" on the gate without saying anything, and left. The king of Chu asked his men to guess. No one can guess. The last minister guessed right. It is a "wide" word. The meaning of this word came out. The king of Chu sighed, "Yan Zi is really talented!"
The king of Chu didn't beat Yan Zi, but he had another plan in his heart.
One day, the king of Chu invited Yan Zi to go hunting and horse racing in the suburbs, and Yan Zi agreed.
The king of Chu took Yan Zi to his horse farm. Yan Zi patted the horse and touched it. He liked it very much. Just as he was about to get on the horse, the king of Chu took him and told him to ride a horse that didn't look like a horse, and the donkey didn't look like a donkey.
Yan Zi asked the king of Chu, "My Lord, why did you give me a monster like a horse and a mount like a donkey?" The king of Chu felt that Yan Zi had taken the bait and said, "This monster was left behind by horses and donkeys, and none of us can tame it. I heard that Qi people are good at training horses. I want to take the doctor exam. I wonder if you can tame it? "
Everyone thought Yan Zi would be laughed at, so they secretly laughed. I didn't know Yan Zi's face didn't change color. He replied, "Your Majesty, with all due respect, Qi also has this kind of monster. Although we tamed it, we can't figure out where this monster came from. Now we finally understand that this thing comes from Chu. "
At this time, a knowledgeable man came over and saw the monster and said, "At this time, mules are stupid and ugly animals among animals." Hearing this, the king of Chu felt a little ashamed. Even this thing can't be tamed. It's no use.
After listening to this, Yan Zi pushed his luck and said, "I heard that Chu people are all like his mounts." The king of Chu blushed.
The king of Chu was convinced and gave Yanzi a good horse.
7. Let Chu continue to write 450 words. The king of Chu didn't find it difficult, but he had other plans in mind.
One day, the king of Chu invited Yan Zi to go hunting and horse racing in the suburbs, and Yan Zi agreed.
The king of Chu took Yan Zi to his horse farm. Yan Zi patted the horse and touched it. He liked it very much. Just as he was about to get on the horse, the king of Chu took him and told him to ride a horse that didn't look like a horse, and the donkey didn't look like a donkey.
Yan Zi asked the king of Chu, "My Lord, why did you give me a monster like a horse and a mount like a donkey?" The king of Chu felt that Yan Zi had taken the bait and said, "This monster was left behind by horses and donkeys, and none of us can tame it. I heard that Qi people are good at training horses. I want to take the doctor exam. I wonder if you can tame it? "
Everyone thought Yan Zi would be laughed at, so they secretly laughed. I didn't know Yan Zi's face didn't change color. He replied, "Your Majesty, with all due respect, Qi also has this kind of monster. Although we tamed it, we can't figure out where this monster came from. Now we finally understand that this thing comes from Chu. "
At this time, a knowledgeable man came over and saw the monster and said, "At this time, mules are stupid and ugly animals among animals." Hearing this, the king of Chu felt a little ashamed. Even this thing can't be tamed. It's no use.
After listening to this, Yan Zi pushed his luck and said, "I heard that Chu people are all like his mounts." The king of Chu blushed.
The king of Chu was convinced and gave Yanzi a good horse.
8. Composition: After Yan Zi sent an envoy to Chu to return to China, he thought that at the end of the Spring and Autumn Period, once the King of Qi sent Yan Zi to Chu, and the King of Chu wanted to insult Yan Zi and show the prestige of Chu.
Wu Chu knew Yanzi was short and wanted him to get into the newly opened 5-foot-high hole. Yan Zi said this was a dog hole, not a city gate. You can only drill a dog hole to' Dog Country'.
The king of Chu was helpless, so he had to ask the National People's Congress to open the gate and welcome him in. When Yan Zi met the king of Chu, the king of Chu satirized Yan Zi's incompetence.
Yan Zi solemnly explained the rules of the State of Qi. He visited first-class countries, sent first-class people, visited second-class countries and sent second-class people. He is the most useless and can only be sent to Chu. King Chu didn't get a bargain this time.
One day, at a banquet hosted by the King of Chu for Yan Zi, the King of Chu deliberately asked people to escort prisoners under the hall, saying that they were robbers of Qi State, so as to tell Yan Zi that the people of Qi State were worthless and all engaged in theft. Yan Zi immediately pointed out that the same orange tree bears different fruits in different places, because soil and water are different.
The people of Qi can live and work in peace and contentment in Qi, but they will become thieves in Chu, because this place is not good. King Chu lost again.
From then on, the king of Chu dared not disrespect Yan Zi.
9. Chu's composition was written again. Since Yanzi outsmarted Chu three times last time, he has become famous all over the world, and the king of Chu was furious.
This time, the king of Chu heard that Yan Zi was going to Chu again, trying to win back his face. The king of Chu and his ministers discussed how to give Yan Zi a difficult problem. At this time, King Chu, the first counselor of the State of Chu, said, "Report back to your Majesty, and we can put up a notice on the city gate, which says,' You must not ride a horse or you will be beheaded! , your majesty, what do you say? "The king said," yes, with this plan! With that, the soldier posted this notice on the city gate.
When Yan Zi arrived at the city gate, the people of the whole country warmly welcomed him. But when Yan Zi approached the city gate, he dismounted and led his horse into the city. After crossing the gate, he got on the horse again. At that time, ministers were dumbfounded.
The next day, the king of Chu and Yan Zi came to a quiet road. The king of Chu found a big stick taller and thicker than Yan Zi and drew a mark on it. King Chu said, "Now I won't let you stand on the stool or cut off this big stick, so you can circle the mark, ok?" Yan Zi said, "No problem!" With that, he put down his stick and drew a circle on the mark.
The first two times, Yan Zi defeated the king of Chu with wisdom, but the king of Chu was not discouraged. He failed in one plan and gave birth to another.
One day at noon, the king of Chu asked Yanzi, "Do you know how many barrels of water the Yellow River can hold in a day?" Yan Zi said, "How big is your bucket?" . If the Yellow River is half, it needs two buckets. If the water is as big as the Yellow River, you only need a bucket. "
At this time, the king of Chu gnashed his teeth with anger and insisted on treating this Yan Zi. He took Yanzi to the river and saw a bridge, so he asked Yanzi. "You won't cross the bridge, will you?" Yan Zi said, "I must cross the bridge." King Chu said, "Didn't that bridge say' No crossing'? Then why did you cross the bridge? " "That's just the name of this bridge." Yan Zi said happily.
Yan Zi won four times with her wisdom. From then on, the king of Chu admired Yan Zi very much.
If you are satisfied, please press adopt under my answer. Thank you.
- Related articles
- A high-quality collection of fifty-three sentences suitable for singles
- Excuse me, what is the difference between a sword, a hammer, and a glove?
- Wang Anshi and Su Shi were writers of the same period. What are some anecdotes about their interactions?
- I am bored at home today. After watching the first part of Cherry Maruko, I feel really good! I always thought that the cherry maruko was made in China, and there was also a crayon Shinchan.
- In the late stage of lung cancer, what should I do if I have severe pain?
- When is the movie "Pets" released? Who is the guest?
- The leader made fun of me a little too much. What should I do with it?
- Cold joke vol.40 What kind of experience is it to have jokes every day?
- What type of TV series does Bu Bu Jing Qing belong to?
- What does it feel like after planting teeth?