A long joke with a cramp.

The cell phone rang. As soon as I saw it was my brother, I answered it immediately.

On the other end of the phone: "Hey, brother, we have an engineering project. I'm in charge of bidding, and four blocks will be constructed at the same time. Because we are in a hurry, we can go directly to the construction site. There is also a bidding part. Think about it? "

I was suddenly very excited: "What project, can I collect money?"

At the other end of the phone: "Good collection, no advance, on-site settlement."

I was ecstatic: "What project? Come and talk to you now. "

I put down the phone and rushed to the appointed place. I cried as soon as I entered the room, playing mahjong, missing one! ! !

Handsome boy, your music is very high

Pippi pig, let's go

Everyone else is spinning. Why are you spinning, little brother? Are you okay?

Can you give me a dog like this?

What if I take your cigarettes? I want to rob you. What?

Can I be a painter in the Central Academy of Fine Arts?

Such personalized door locks are rare.

The relationship between alarm clock and every morning

Funny joke: Dasong teaches his nephew in grade three to do his homework. The nephew always says Dasong, which means: I can't do this, I can't do that, I can't do anything. So Da Song told him: Do anything, don't deny yourself at the beginning, how do you know you can't do it before you do it? So his nephew, the smelly boy, said with a contemptuous face, then why isn't your girlfriend who has been chasing for two years married? I just want to ask, what is the reason why children are so precocious now? Who instilled these unhealthy thoughts in you?

Funny joke: Today is the third anniversary of my wife's wedding. I'm going to shed some blood and take my wife to a fancy restaurant for a good meal. After telling my wife my thoughts, she looked at me faintly: "Say, where did you get the money?" Where are you hiding? Don't say you don't want to eat today! "

Funny joke: Colleagues burn their heads, which is particularly ugly. The day before yesterday, he was holding a small bench and holding a sign that said, "I had my hair permed at XX Barber Shop. Please comment! " Boy, finally the barber shop owner gave her 2000 yuan, and it was over!

Funny joke: I am on duty on Sunday and take my son to work. Colleagues met their teasing son: "Who is the best in your family?" The son didn't even think about it: "of course it's mom, mom is a qigong master!" " "Colleagues wondered," did your mother practice Qigong? "My son shook his head:" My mother is the first person who gets angry easily in the world! " "

Funny joke: I drank some wine with my friends yesterday and visited Xinjiekou. An unknown white woman squatted down to tie her shoelaces. My classmate gritted his teeth and stamped his feet, and a goat jumped up. We are speechless around. The woman froze ... we were apologizing to others before we went. Think about this wine. It's really maddening