Things that make fun of the group leader

1. At noon on the hoeing day, the mines were buried in the soil, and the group leaders came to dance and exploded into 250!

2. The group leader’s face is more beautiful than Chen Shimei’s; the group leader’s eyes are brighter than Zhuge Liang; my love is deeper than Lu Zhishen, my love is longer than Guan Yun, but my promise is empty than Sun Wukong.

3. "Can't put it down" means that you like it so much that you won't let go, so the group leader should say "can't let it go" loudly to the person the group leader likes. Try shouting a few more times and it will definitely have an effect. .

4. Money is a useful thing, but it will only bring happiness to the group owner when the group owner feels satisfied. So the group leader should give me the extra money: don’t move, rob!

5. I heard that the group leader is very awesome! I raised wolves, let tigers go, and even danced with orangutans! Walk south! Break through the North! My leg ran over me on the train track! I drank water in the toilet! He even kissed a donkey!

6. I heard that the group leader has made a fortune and has paid off all the foreign debts. So I should pay back half of the eraser I borrowed from me when I was in elementary school. Plus the interest over the years, the group leader should pay back My tire.

7. I heard that the group leader spent tens of thousands to buy a Western Zhou clay pot, and excitedly ran to an expert for appraisal. As a result, the expert seriously said to the group leader: "How can this be from the Western Zhou Dynasty? It's obviously from the Western Zhou Dynasty. It was last week!"

8. It rained one day in the mental hospital. Many patients were taking a bath in the rain. Only the group leader was watching alone by the window. The dean asked curiously: What was the group leader doing? The group leader replied: I will wait until the water is hot before going!

9. The turtle and the snake went to see a movie. They only had one ticket. The turtle let the snake wrap around his neck. When entering the park, the ticket inspector said: Stop. Turtle Snake panicked, and the ticket inspector sarcastically said: Look at the group leader, he's such a turtle, and he's still wearing a tie!

10. I sent an email to the group owner, but I was afraid that the group owner would pretend not to see it; I called the group owner, but I didn’t know what to say; I had to send a text message to tell the group owner: Is the group owner awesome now? How long has it been since you said hello to me?

11. A life that does not aim at happiness is nonsense. A love that does not end with marriage will break up sooner or later. It is best not to do a job that does not reward you with a salary increase. It is best not to do a job that does not aim at teasing. Who will read the information!

12. Wukong developed tourism in Huaguo Mountain, and Wu Jing also raised a tortoise in Liusha River; Master, I also published a book about my journey of learning scriptures! Everyone is very concerned about the group leader, and asked me to send greetings to my teacher. It's okay, Bajie.

13. Boss, if you press CTRL C on your home computer and then press CTRL V on your company computer, it will definitely not work, even for the same article... No, no, what an expensive computer. Neither works.

14. I miss the group leader so much! Oops, I accidentally posted it by mistake. I posted it anyway. If the group owner accepts it, then save it. If the group owner doesn't accept it, please send these four words back to me. Thank you!

15. When you are a human being, you must pay attention to the following principles: one is the right person. The second gun is the most powerful weapon. Three terbium, chlorine, chlorine and chloride. Ah, I don’t understand! The group leader has suffered the consequences of being uneducated all his life!

16. Measure the window, the bed and the wall. Jump on the bed and measure the window. Measure the bed against the wall. The wall is longer than the bed, and the bed is longer than the window. The window is not as long as the bed, and the bed is not as long as the wall. , so the wall is longer than the bed and the window. If you don’t read well, hit the wall.

17. Xiaohong: When I grow up, I will be a doctor and relieve the suffering of my compatriots! Xiao Ming: When I grow up, I will be a judge, punishing evil and promoting good for my compatriots. The teacher asked Xiaobao: Where is the group leader? Xiaobao thought about it and said: I want to be a compatriot!

18. The couple fights over the remote control. Husband: The group leader doesn’t even go into the kitchen to cook, so why do you want to watch a cooking show? Not to be outdone, the wife counterattacked: The group leader has never played football, why does he want to watch a football match?

19. My friends all said that I was a handsome guy, but I refused to admit it. In the end, they gave me thousands of dollars, and I reluctantly agreed! To be honest, I don’t want to have this title, but I am helpless in front of money!

20. One day, he was walking on the street with a medium-rare steak. Suddenly he saw a medium-rare steak in front of him, but he ignored him. Why didn't they say hello? Answer: Because they are not familiar with it.

21. Itchy ears? That means I’m thinking about the group leader! Itchy eyes? That means I want to meet the group leader! Itchy mouth? That means I want to kiss the group leader! Body itchy? That means... stop thinking nonsense, you've got lice, go take a shower!

22. The female earthworm and the centipede were dating and were discovered by the male earthworm. The male earthworm was very sad: Why? Am I not good enough to the group leader? The mother earthworm retorted: What a good thing, we have been together for so long and you don’t even give me a hug!

23. Throw the group leader out, pick it up, throw it out, pick it up, throw it out and pick it up, throw it out and pick it up. Damn, the group leader is missing! Everyone, look for it! Where is the group leader! Forget it! Don’t pick it up anymore! It’s not worth much money anyway!

24. I have known the group leader so far. The group leader should be very clear about the status of the group leader in my heart. Except for the group leader, everyone else is a piece of shit in my eyes, but the group leader is different. , because the group owners...are two piles.

25. A river of spring water, a river of waves, and a mountain is higher than a mountain. Send a message to the idiot. The idiot must take out his mobile phone. He takes out his mobile phone and looks down. After reading, it is not difficult to forward it. His fingers move quickly. Like electricity, I would also like to transfer it back to me!

26. In a dark night, a stout man brutally killed and dismembered the group leader! The police arrested him the next day, but the damn guy's crime turned out to be: slaughtering pigs without permission.

27. The group leader always says that I am worthless. I can’t say two sentences with a stick. I can’t sleep because the moon is too shining. This makes the group leader very dissatisfied. But I also have fun. Come on, hurry up. Put on the ring - 48K pure iron...

28. The weekend is here, give the group leader a bun, friendship is the outer shell, the first layer inside is blessing, the second layer is happiness, and the third layer All your wishes come true! By the way, the fourth level is the IOU written by the group leader. Pay it back quickly, baby!

29. I heard that the group leader has been on TV recently, which is good! The group leader is so photogenic, with his lively and confident attitude, his playful and cute words and deeds... I have known for a long time that the group leader, Brother Monkey, is definitely up to the task!

30. A primary school student’s composition: Every morning my parents and I go our separate ways, and we return home again in the evening. When my grades were not good, my father would fight with my roommate and beat me until I fell to the ground. My mother would stand by and watch, never doing anything righteous.

31. The girl made a new love, and the boy and the girl quarreled: Girl: What does the group leader know? She is a returnee from overseas and just came back from the United States. Boy: What’s so great, I’m also a returnee from overseas. I came back from Shanghai yesterday!

32. I fell in love with the group leader the first time I saw him! The group leader also noticed me. He smiled brightly and kept waving to me. I couldn't help but hug the group leader tightly! Ah, the cute Lucky Cat!

33. The Cowherd and the Weaver Girl are a match made by heaven, and Yingying and Zhang are born in the West Wing; Butterfly Lovers turn into butterflies and make people drunk, and Bao Dai makes people shed tears of lovesickness; Ruth and Jack make people heartbroken, and the hot girl’s favorite is Beckham; if you ask who and The group leader is right, Sister Feng is the perfect match for the group leader!

34. The advantages of the group leader are countless. He can sing and dance. He has a good and prosperous life. He is tall and handsome. Countless girls are fascinated by the charm of the group leader. What is amazing is that the two In her early teens, the group leader still... pees her pants.

35. Looking at the cloudless sky, listening to the rushing sound of the creek, and the grass around you swaying gently in the wind, how beautiful nature is, but it is a pity that the air is blocked by the crowd. The fart the Lord just let out was contaminated!

36. Ask the group leader to put the nine horses into ten horse pens on average, and make the number of horses in each horse pen the same. How to divide them? Answer: Put nine horses in a horse pen, and then put nine more horse rings outside the horse pen!

37. Those who cook are called cooks; those who raise horses are called grooms; those who cultivate the land are called farmers; those who sell meat are called butchers; those who practice martial arts are called martial artists; those who drive cars are called coachmen; I I am in charge of accounting, so I can do whatever the group leader asks me to do!

38. Xi Shi’s appearance is like a fish sinking before a wild goose, and a flower is shy when the moon is closed; Concubine Yang looks back and smiles with all her beauty, the pink and white of the Sixth Palace are colorless; although the leader of the group is not as powerful as them, as long as the leader of the group gives him a flirtatious look , it can still scare away thieves.

39. Reward order: Catch a smile, catch one reward and the group owner will be happy for a lifetime, catch ten rewards and the group owner will be happy for a lifetime, catch a hundred rewards, the group owner will always be smooth and safe, the more you catch, The more rewards you get, act quickly and be the first to laugh!

40. I am afraid of losing the group leader, so I hold the group leader tightly in my arms. I want the group leader to stay with me forever. When the group leader leaves, I feel very sad. The relationship is so deep, I think the group leader will understand me, money!

41. The group leader is obviously uglier than me, but the boyfriends around me are quite handsome! I was so angry that I couldn't eat for several days, and I had to think hard to find the answer. Even if I didn't accept it, it wasn't that the group leader was smart and capable, but that the group leader was stupider than me!

42. Missing the group leader is a very happy thing. It's a pleasure to meet the group leader. Loving the group leader is what I will always do. Keeping the group owners in mind is what I have always done. However, deceiving the group leader happened just now.

43. The main reason of the group is that they are unhappy, so I care for the group owner. If the group leader is really in trouble, then I will turn off the phone...

44. A fat boy came into a certain subway station... As soon as he squeezed into the subway, he issued a "didi-didi" warning to close the door, and then he He immediately jumped onto the platform... Looking at the subway door closing, he complained: dizzy, it's not an elevator!

45. Xiao Liu bought a parrot. In order to make the parrot learn the language, he kept repeating to the parrot: Hey... Hey... Hey... The parrot was a little impatient, and it opened its eyes. His eyes asked: What's wrong? Is the phone always busy?

46. I wish the group leader to be a waiter in a happy shop: if you have nothing to do, watch the duo, the happy plum blossoms will bloom for the second time, listen to the beautiful duet, get a double salary after being paid, don’t have to work at both ends, go out and take two steps in style, Everyone says that the group leader is very bad!

47. The little nanny has a very loud voice. The master told her that the people coming tonight are all dignitaries, so she should speak softer. After the meal, the nanny finished cleaning up and wanted to go to bed early, so she leaned close to the male host and whispered in his ear: "Then I'll go to bed first."

48. Two people were competing over who knew more football rules, A said : I watch a lot of football games! There is nothing I don’t know about football! B asked: Really? A said: Of course! B said: That group leader, tell me how many holes there are in the football net?

49. What’s going on? I just called the group leader’s cell phone, and after the ringtone rang, it said: The other party is running naked, please wait and call again. I can't believe it! When I called again, it said: Sorry, the user you dialed has left the service area, please wait and call again.

50. The twelve zodiac signs party, the dragon is the chief director, the mouse performs magic, the cow tug-of-war, the tiger walks through the fire ring, the rabbit races, the snake swims, the horse performs equestrian performance, the sheep walks on the tightrope, the monkey climbs the pole, the chicken Singing, the dog stood guard, and finally the pig read the text message.

51. Mr. Xu made a big mistake. When he took out his pocket in front of his wife, the cigarettes, unsuccessful gambling tickets, and photos of his old lover were scattered on the floor. When he panics, which thing will he immediately cover up? Mrs.'s eyes.

52. I don’t want to lament the changes in the world, nor do I want to wait for the unknown of growth. Along the way we have traveled, I have learned to be strong and independent. In the days without me, the group members should take care of themselves. When the weather gets cold, stop using your socks as handkerchiefs.

53. The white clouds are passing by, which is the trace that I miss the group leader; the sunshine is shining, that is the feeling that I am missing the group leader; the rain is falling, that is the evidence that I am missing the group leader; the thunder and lightning are there, that I prayed to the sky that the group leader would be hit... Ha... Ha...

54. Seeing that so many people like the group leader, I also secretly encouraged myself and must try to pursue him. Group leader, the moment I approached the group leader and smelled the breath coming from his body, I finally couldn't help but vomit... stinky tofu!

55. A three-year-old boy took the hand of a three-year-old girl and said: "I love the group leader.

The little girl said: "Can the group leader be responsible for my future?" The little boy: "Of course!" We are no longer one or two years old! ”

56. Learn Chinese just to send text messages; learn math just to count money; learn English just to look cool; learn physics just to make atomic bombs; learn art just to be able to do it without looking at the photo of the second senior brother. The painting looks like the group leader!

57. The little girl loves to cry, and her grandma coaxes her and says: Good girl, stop crying! The little girl’s face turns ugly when she cries. , looked at grandma for a long time and asked: Grandma, how many times have you cried since you were a child?

58. During the meteor shower yesterday, I quickly made a thousand and one promises to the group leader in front of the shooting stars! The first thousand wishes are to wish the group owner’s amnesia to recover as soon as possible, and the thousand and first wish is to hope that the group owner will remember to pay me back two dollars.

59. Warm greeting text messages! The text messages of blessing are gorgeous and straightforward, the text messages of entertainment are humorous and cheerful, and the prank messages are fun and easy to learn. Why send prank messages to the group owner? Because the group owner can't learn anything worse! /p>

60. Dad bought a bowl of beef ramen on Sunday and took it home for Beibei to eat. Beibei showed off the delicious ramen to Lily on Monday. Lily asked: Does the group leader know how beef ramen is made? Bei thought for a while and said: Maybe it was pulled by a cow?

61. The group leader is low-key, lives a simple life, has simple thoughts, and does not talk too much. He is a rare honest person. Fortunately, I don’t listen to my mother’s words. Puppy love, or else I... What a stupid thing it would be for me to fall in love with such a dull group leader!

62. It’s very hot this summer, I’m here to help you with the coolness. As the saying goes, peace of mind. It’s naturally cool, so the group leader can adjust his mood like this: Buy a bunch of watermelons, stab them with a kitchen knife, and recite the cooling and heat-relieving mantra at the same time: I’ll kill the melons! I’ll kill the melons!

63. If there are no flowers! , spring will be lonely, without **, the four seasons will be mediocre, without me, the group leader will lose the person who cares about the group leader the most! If there is no group leader, Xiaotu will ask: Who should I race with?

64. Hold the group leader in your hands, burn incense silently, pray for the most beautiful and fragrant flowers, and when you have accumulated 999 flowers, give them to the most beautiful group leader... Then I run away quickly :Small, I don’t believe that we can’t recruit the leader of the bee stings!

65. In the early morning, Tang Monk woke up from his dream and found Sun Wukong kneeling in front of his bed, so he asked: “Wukong, what’s wrong with the leader of the group? Already? Sun Wukong said with tears on his face: "Master, I beg you, next time you talk in your sleep, can you not recite the tightening curse?" ”

66. The teacher asked me what handsome is, and I understood it as soon as I looked in the mirror. The teacher asked me what ugly is, and I couldn’t figure it out. It wasn’t until I met the group leader that I knew what ugly was. It turns out that it can be so specific. Just kidding, don’t be angry.

67. Don’t get so close to the group leader’s handsome face, be careful that my appearance affects the group leader’s appetite; the food is very spicy. Okay, I hope the group owner will not be so civilized when eating; my biggest wish is that the group owner can get a good price when weighing at the end of the year.

68. The autumn wind is swirling in the sky on September 9th, group owner. I shook my head and looked at the sky under the cool weather. I stood behind the group leader and snickered. Give me the group leader’s blessing.

69. I had a cat at home. In the winter, when the cat was asleep and unconscious, I secretly put a hot water bottle under it. In ten seconds, the cat rushed under the bed at the speed of a rocket, with its legs spread out like a cow.

70. If you want to cool down in the hot summer, I will teach you a secret trick: first raise your hands above your head to let the armpits dissipate heat, and then put your hands on the ground. Earth Qi, and finally stick out your tongue and breathe quickly to dissipate the heat in your mouth.

71. When I am tired, I can nestle in the arms of the group leader; when I am hurt, it is okay. Crying on the shoulder of the group leader. From the moment I was born, I fell in love with the group leader and can no longer be separated from the group leader, ah, my dear bed!

72. There is an endless stream of people wandering on the streets, who can hear someone's loneliness.

Find someone to cherish each other, find a heart-to-heart connection, the group leader is unique in this universe, no one can replace it, the world will become dark without the group leader, street light!

73. The group leader is really awesome and well-informed. It can be said that the group leader is knowledgeable about everything and has a kind heart. No matter who has difficulties, the group leader will always respond to their requests. I want to follow The group leader said: My toilet is clogged, come and help me fix it!

74. The laughter and laughter of the group leader in the morning echoed in my ears; the liveliness and excitement of the group leader at noon came to my mind; the vague face of the group leader at night entered my dream... So I Wake up screaming! Dress up better next time!

75. The group leader’s text messages are as hidden as roses, and the group leader’s words are as unfathomable as algebra; this is the danger hidden in the group leader’s smile, and this is the sign before the group leader kills someone. As a result, the group leader had a nickname - Mei Dai Bad Omen.

76. The group leader was lying quietly on the bed, exuding an alluring fragrance, soft skin, and an alluring feeling that made my heart beat faster. I excitedly walked towards the group leader, lay on the group leader, and said to the group leader affectionately, I like the group leader...my sheets!

77. This message lets the group owner know: 1. Our feelings are the deepest! 2. Let the group owner know that I have not forgotten the group owner! 3. What I care about most is the group leader! 4. Eat more and sleep more, raise a fat baby, and strive to sell it before the year and sell it at a good price!

78. The group owner borrowed money from me a while ago, and I readily lent it to the group owner. The group owner also said he would pay me back in a few days, but it has been several months now. Why hasn't the group owner paid back the money? If the group owner doesn't pay back the money, I... I sent it to the wrong person, I'm sorry!

79. You missed me after not seeing me for a day. You feel uncomfortable without news from me. I knew the group owner would be like this, so I immediately sent this text message to the group owner. Don’t be too grateful to me. Please give me a hug. , don’t say anything else, otherwise the group leader and I will be in a hurry!

80. Send a rose to the group leader, wishing the group leader a sweet love; send a carnation to the group leader, wishing the group leader good health; send a lily to the group leader, wishing all the wishes come true ; Send all happy flowers to the group owner, and hope that the fragrance of the flowers can attract... bees to sting the group owner!

81. In spring, I want the group leader to think that the flowers have bloomed; in summer, I want the group leader to think that the sun has warmed up; in autumn, I want the group leader to think that the fruits have ripened; in winter, I want the group leader to think that the flowers have bloomed. I thought so much that snowflakes were falling. After the text message was sent, I thought: Brother, it’s time to pay back the money!

82. After receiving my text message, the group leader will be saved from the abyss of strict wife control. If the wife wants the group leader to wear colorful clothes, the group leader can just wear a shirt. Men, simple is fine. If you want The group leader kneels on the washboard. The group leader doesn’t have to kneel anymore. I have the final say on my territory.

83. There was a county magistrate who was afraid of his wife. He was chased and beaten by his wife, and he was so embarrassed that he hid under the bed.

His wife knocked on the edge of the bed and shouted loudly: "Come out quickly, come out quickly!" The county magistrate huddled inside and said: "Man, a real man, if you can't speak out, you won't come out!"

84. I admire Qun very much. The Lord’s persistence, knowing that I don’t like the group leader, still doesn’t give up pursuing me. Last night the group leader sang to me again and secretly kissed me. Faced with such love from the group leader, I can only say: I swear, I Hate the group leader for ten thousand years! Damn mosquitoes!

85. We haven’t seen each other for a long time. Let’s take advantage of my free time today to treat the group leader to a meal. I will wait for the group leader in the bank near the group leader’s house. The group leader will come over quickly. If If the group leader doesn't see me when he enters the bank, he will shout "robbery". Do you understand?

86. I want to give the group leader clothes, but the group leader is not in good shape; I want to give the group leader drinks, but the group leader’s wife is nagging me; I want to give the group leader candy, but the group leader’s blood sugar rises; I want to give the group leader RMB. , I am not well-off myself; I can only send text messages to the group leader, but unfortunately the group leader is not well-educated and cannot understand!

87. If the group leader wants, I will look at the group leader affectionately until the group leader surrenders; if the group leader wants, I will talk to the group leader affectionately until the group leader turns into a sheep; Lord, I will come all the way to support the group leader. Does the group leader dare to admit that he is a donkey?

88. When I was a child, the group leader was very beautiful. He was drooling in his underpants. His friends all touched the group leader’s black legs. When he grew up, the group leader was very beautiful, with dark circles under his eyes and he was dozing off. Colleagues We have all heard the group leader’s grunts, send text messages to send compliments, don’t fall asleep during working hours, work hard to appreciate the beauty of the group leader!