The farmer joked about going to town.

A man took a bus and stepped on a woman's foot. The woman was furious and scolded, "Are you sick?" The man ignored her. After a while, the unlucky man stepped on the woman again, and the woman scolded: "You are sick! What is wrong with you? ! "The man was angry, too, and replied," Do you have any medicine? " The woman scolded again: "You are sick! What is wrong with you? What is wrong with you? ! "The man replied," Can you cure it? ! "A woman's silence. After a while, the man stepped on the woman's foot again, and the woman kept scolding: "Are you sick? ! What is wrong with you? ! You are sick ... "The man replied," Do you repeat the machine? ! "Regardless, women keep scolding:" Are you sick? ! What is wrong with you? ! You are sick (your voice is getting lower and lower). "A little girl on the bus said innocently," Sister, is there no electricity? "

The farmer drove the donkey into the city and met a rogue. Rogue: Did you eat? The farmer said, yes. Rogue: I asked the donkey. Hearing this, the farmer turned and slapped the donkey twice: Shit, there are relatives in the city who don't say a word.

I have a crush on a handsome boy who practices Sanda in my class, and I don't know how to hint. One day, I got up the courage to say, "On the evening of xx, xx, under the third tree in the playground, be there or be square." His notes are sandwiched in the textbook. Shy, I didn't sign it. That day, I waited gracefully under the tree. The handsome boy came, followed by a group of figures. The moonlight was bright, and the handsome boy saw the figure under the tree and shouted, "Did you write the challenge book?

One day, someone ate in the school cafeteria and bought a roast beef with potatoes. As a result, he accidentally dropped a piece of beef, so he only ate potatoes for the whole meal.

One day, I ate in the school cafeteria and bought a green pepper fried meat. As a result, I threw it away when I saw a vegetable bug, so I only ate green peppers for the whole meal.

I watched a food program the other day. Two hosts are drinking tea in an old man's house. This is very expensive tea. The woman asked, "What's the benefit of this tea?" Old man: "Good for both men and women." The woman asked again, "What are the benefits of Shenma?" The old man calmly replied, "quench your thirst."

One of my classmates swaggered past China Railway Station with a bottle of wine. . (You know, no)

The station staff was anxious: "Hey, there is a drink in your hand!" " "

He immediately unscrewed the bottle cap angrily and drank a bottle of drink in one breath. .

The staff suddenly froze! ! ! ! He was stunned! !

I saw my classmate wipe his mouth and shouted, "Don't you just want one bottle?"

I was shocked, too! !

A person went to tell a fortune, and the fortune teller touched his face, counted the eight characters, and said, you fell in love at the age of 20, got married at the age of 25, and had children at the age of 30. You have a rich and stable life and a happy family in your later years. The man was surprised at first, and then he was very angry. He said, I am thirty-five, a doctor, single, and I have never been in love. Mr. Wang pondered for a moment and said, "Young man, knowledge changes fate."

In biology class, we reviewed chromosomes. Everyone knows that the male sex chromosome is XY and the female sex chromosome is XX. The teacher said that women with five X chromosomes have been found clinically. Study together: What gender is she? A deep voice came from the corner of the shadow: super girl.

In biology class, the teacher asked, "If parents don't suffer from this genetic disease, but their children get sick, what is most likely to happen?" ? (The standard answer is "gene mutation"), a deep but clear male voice sounded in the dark corner of the back row: "affair".

In Chinese class, the teacher said: In fact, weasels don't eat chickens, which is obtained by scientists through experiments. Once a chicken and a weasel were locked together. Guess what will happen the next day? A word came from the dark corner in the back row: the chicken is pregnant.

In high school, a buddy in my class was young and very old. .....

Here is what happened when he took the bus:

In sophomore year, this guy went to school by bus. Because of the long journey, when he was bored, a 35-year-old man next door asked him to chat. The man opened his mouth and said, "Brother, where are you going?"

This guy may have been treated like this many times, and he is not very surprised. His answer was quite calm: "Three Middle Schools".

The man's second sentence: "Oh, went to see the children?" It's hard for children to go to school ... "

The buddy's face twitched and he didn't say a word.

The third sentence: "eldest brother, what grade is your child?" That buddy was really annoyed and didn't explain, so he slipped a sentence: "Senior One"

At this time, the classic appeared. The man stared at his buddy for ten seconds in surprise, and then said, "Brother, you got married very late!" " "

One day, a family caught fire, and both parents escaped, leaving only one son inside. Mother nervously shouted outside the house: "Son ... what are you doing ... you won't come out after the fire ..." The son replied: "I'm wearing socks ..." The mother said: "What socks are you wearing after the fire ..." Five minutes later, the son hasn't come out ... The mother shouted nervously again: "Son! Come out ~ There's a fire, and you're still inside ... "The son said," I'm taking off my socks. ........

A traffic policeman was issuing a ticket when a man came up with a cigarette in his mouth and shouted, What else can you do besides issuing a ticket? The traffic police ignored him, and the man continued: there is a drag! The traffic police was very angry, and the man continued: There is a drag! The traffic police couldn't bear to take out the walkie-talkie. When towing the car, the traffic police kindly said: Come to the Fifth Brigade to deal with it in the afternoon! Man: It's none of my business! This car is not mine! Say that finish humming a ditty riding a battery car. .

Three travelers were walking in the desert together. They are Japanese, American and China. At this time, they saw a magic lamp in front of them. The magic lamp said that it could satisfy two wishes of each of them. The Americans said first: I want to go back to new york, and I need10 million dollars. The magic lamp satisfied him. The Japanese said: I want to go back to Tokyo. I want five beautiful women. The magic lamp has satisfied him. When he arrived in China, he said, Let's have a pot of wine first and drink it alone. The magic lamp asked him what his second wish was. He thought about it and said, Let them come back. So the two men were brought back. Those two were angry, but there was nothing they could do. When they were walking, they met a magic lamp. They were ecstatic. The magic lamp said that he was the younger brother of the last one, and his magic was limited, so he could only satisfy everyone's wish. Two people thought for a moment: this time let China people speak first, so China people said: magic lamp, you go. ...

Boys will confess from time to time downstairs in the university. One way is to put many bright hearts of candles downstairs and shout "XXX, I love you!" " "Every time, I make the girls in the audience scream.

Mr. A lost the big adventure tonight and was called to the simulation site downstairs. Only three words are allowed. Give him a heart-shaped candle and let him stand in it. Everybody get out of the way. He is shy by nature and refuses to speak. Upstairs, the girls found several windows waiting for someone to see, and some even cheered for him. As a result, he looked up and shouted "sell wax ~ ~ ~".

Sell candles ...

candle ...

Candles …

The man shouted, "waiter, come here!" " "

Attendant: "Hello, what is it?"

The man asked angrily, "I have a bowl of beef noodles for 20 yuan. How can I have a piece of beef?"

Attendant: "How many pieces do you want, sir?"

The man thought for a moment and said, "How can I get five or six pieces of beef?"

The waiter shouted to the kitchen, "Come out and help the customer cut this beef."