Tell a joke ............... something short.

A complete collection of jokes

1. One day, Xiaoming came to visit his aunt's house, and her aunt said, "Feel free to sit down! The food will be ready soon! " Then I went into the kitchen and got busy. At this time, only Xiao Ming and his mother-in-law's dog "Xiaobai" were left in the living room. Suddenly, Xiao Ming found that his stomach ached sharply. He thought to himself, "No! I must hold back! " But he couldn't help it ... "Poof ~ ~" He let out an invincible fart, and he thought, "This is a dead man, and he will definitely be driven out." Unexpectedly, my aunt just shouted "Xiaobai ~ ~!" ? Xiao Ming was relieved to think, "Fortunately, Xiao Bai was my scapegoat", and then he couldn't help but fart for the second time. Aunt still shouted, "Xiao Bai ~ ~!" ? When he farted the third time, he saw his mother-in-law rush out and yell, "Little White! You won't run until you are stinking, will you? "

2. The two sisters often bicker together, and one day they fight again somehow:

Sister: I'll sell your cup! ? Sister: I'll sell your lid!

elder sister: I will sell your shoes! ? Sister: I'll sell your shoelaces!

elder sister: I sell gold! Sister: I sell silver (prostitution)!

3. Once upon a time, there was a man who loved to drink. He often came home drunk, and his wife knew that he had this problem, so she ignored him every time he came home. One day, he came back drunk again, and his wife ignored him and climbed into bed. After a while, his wife felt that someone was shaking her, so she opened her eyes and saw that it was her husband. She asked, "Why don't you sleep so late?" The drunkard said, "Wife, come and see! Our house is haunted! " Knowing that he was drunk, his wife said, "What the hell! You drink too much. " The drunkard said unjustly, "I'm not drunk, and my house is really haunted. I don't believe you. When I went to the toilet, the light turned on by myself as soon as I opened the door." The light went out as soon as the door was closed. Isn't it haunted? " As soon as his wife heard this, she swore, "You are a dead drunk! You peed on the refrigerator again! " ?

4. When a girl goes out, she always asks her mother to drive her. The mother tells her daughter, "What do you think our legs are for?" The daughter replied, "One is used for braking and the other is used for stepping on the accelerator." ?

5. A father educated his children and said, "You should study hard. Do you know that Lincoln was the best student in the class when he was your age?" The child said, "Yes, but I know that Lincoln was the president of the country when he was your age." ?

6. The leading son likes playing truant and telling lies. For this reason, the leader bought a polygraph robot at a high price.

coming home late one day:

Father: Where have you been? ? Son: The library. The robot slapped it in the past.

er: I went to my classmate's house to watch porn. ? Father: How dare you? I've never seen it in my life. ? The robot immediately slapped his father. ? The mother angered her father and said, It serves you right to be so harsh on her son. After all, he is your own! Bang! The robot slapped his mother again!

7. One day, I saw a car with the words:

Driving school expelled, self-taught, rented car, bought license, no insurance, unclear brakes and accelerator, 33 car accidents, 32 wins and 1 draw.