Talking about Foreign Marriage: Why should I marry a foreigner?

Those who say that women who marry foreigners have other purposes are obviously influenced by traditional gender discrimination and ignore the independence of women in China today. After reading many articles and comments on the internet, I am also rethinking why I married him in the first place. My husband is Norwegian. Norway is a very small country. Before I met my husband, all I knew about Norway was about pirates and the cold. Besides, I am a conservative person, neither avant-garde nor fashionable. When I was in college, I was always skeptical about the foreign love and marriage of people around me. When ICQ and OICQ were just popular, I was also interested in online dating and meeting netizens. My husband turned out to be a foreigner. We must be online dating, but I always feel that we are very lucky, because there are too few successful examples of online dating and so many negative reports. We met on ICQ, and we talked so well for the first time that he forgot to go to work. After that, I wrote him a letter about a problem we discussed, and he replied to me quickly. In this way, after our conversation, writing letters and sending emails to each other has become an indispensable part of our daily life, whether on business or travel. There is no denying that we both had a good impression on each other at first, but love and marriage are very realistic things after all. We didn't think of this at the beginning of our understanding, but regarded each other as pen pals and confidants. At that time, I was a senior and had a lot of feelings about life, so I needed such an object to talk to. And a person who is far away from the world can talk about everything. And at that time, I encountered emotional setbacks and found that my boyfriend had been lying to me. At that stage, I found that my simplicity was being swallowed up by the complexity of society. I want to indulge myself, too I once dated four men who had a crush on me for a week, and I continued to associate with my boyfriend. Because I can't make up my mind to break up with him. But I found that I am not the kind of girl who can indulge. My confusion and sadness can only be said to this stranger who can talk to me. My husband is a very simple person (another Beijing elder sister I know who is married to a Norwegian also uses simplicity to describe her husband. It may be because of a perfect social system and a relatively calm and uncompetitive social life. Every time he listens to my distress, he encourages me with the simplest words that everyone can say. But for me, it is these simple words that let me find myself, find my simplicity and find my goal in life. So our communication starts from the bottom of my heart. So when we first met at Beijing airport, I felt that the blonde in front of me looked so strange, but so familiar. After graduating from college, I went to Shanghai. Another completely strange city, because I finally found myself, I finally ended the relationship that I shouldn't have ended. I decided to go to a new city and start my new life. He and I still write letters every day. I told him what happened every day, how my first home was decorated, which colleagues were not good to me, and told him about my family and friends. I found it so relaxing and natural to chat with him, but I never thought about it. Until one day, I was ill. We were going to chat that night, but I suddenly had a headache and the pain was unbearable, so I sent him a short message saying that I was ill and could not chat. I took a taxi to the hospital Later, in the hospital, my good friend in Guangzhou called me (he also knows my current husband) and asked me if I was sick. I was surprised and asked how you knew. He called your home phone, but no one answered. He called your mobile phone and couldn't get in touch (the signal in the emergency department of the hospital was bad), so he saw that I was online and asked me to try to contact you. I am very touched. I am alone in a foreign country, so fragile when I am sick. Someone cares about you so far away, I want to cry. Later, I got a fishing needle and he finally got through to my mobile phone. I told him it was okay. It's just that I'm sitting there with an injection and seeing other patients with family members. I feel very painful, lonely and want to cry, because I don't want to call my family for fear that they will worry. He said, it doesn't matter, just imagine me by your side. "You know, no matter what happens, there is always a shoulder for you to lean on" is what he always says to me every time I encounter setbacks. But that time, I felt so warm in my heart, and there was an unspeakable feeling in my heart, which was a good feeling. I smiled unconsciously on my face and felt sweet in my heart. I asked myself for the first time, are you in love with him, but is this reality? Later, I called him. I thought about it for a long time. I'm very nervous. It was a female voice on the phone. The other party's English is not good. She only told me that he was not at home. He told me that he lived alone after breaking up with his ex-girlfriend. Did he lie to me, too? But what did he lie to me about? If he lied to me, why did he take the time to write to me every day? He never asked me for anything, but he gave me a present when I graduated. He is so sincere. Is my intuition wrong? This society is more complicated than I thought. I'm confused and a little sad and lost. Finally, I wrote him a long letter, in which I told him frankly the change of my feelings for him. Ask him who is the woman who answered the phone. When I arrived at the company early the next morning, I habitually opened my mailbox first. Sure enough, his letter was there, and it was very long. He told me that his mother answered the phone. His mother said it was strange to get a phone call from a foreigner and asked who I was. He also told me that he had a good impression on me, but he was afraid to tell me, for fear that I would refuse him, even ruining my friendship and making friends. We still write letters every day. I think it is the most important part to spend a little time writing to him every day. He also tells me about his life every day, so although we are in the horizon, we clearly know each other's "whereabouts". Without those magnificent and shocking vows, we will share our life calmly in the trivial life, and the occasional sweet words will make me intoxicated and excited. We began to plan our first meeting, and we chose the time of the Spring Festival. Second, during the Spring Festival in China, we can feel the traditional cultural atmosphere of China. We should meet in Beijing. I arrived in Beijing by night train from Shanghai. I got a call from him on the train, telling me that he was at the Oslo airport and would fly to China soon. We are all very eager to see each other, but we are a little nervous. I arrived at Beijing Capital Airport in half a morning and bought a bunch of flowers to welcome him. I recognized him immediately. Not only have I seen his photos, but also the feeling and the scarf I gave him. We stood there, face to face, which was a little harmful. This is a very delicate moment. On the one hand, we have fallen in love, on the other hand, we met for the first time. Finally, I said, welcome to China. He came over and gave me a hug with a smile. The embrace of western common etiquette. He is a little fatter than in the picture. Anyway, he is not the kind with attractive appearance, but in my eyes, I always think he is simple and lovely. In the taxi, we didn't talk for a long time. He kept looking out of the window, curiously looking at this strange country and city. Later, he told me that he really wanted to see me, but he was embarrassed, but this was his first time in China. So I'm curious During the first two days in Beijing, we didn't talk much, mainly because I introduced him to the scenic spots in Beijing. I took him to see the Forbidden City, Tiananmen Square and the Temple Fair. Until one night, after dinner, we strolled in the streets of Beijing. I nervously told him that I don't think we are in love because you are quiet. He thought about it, then took my hand and said, are we in love now? I smiled. He said he wanted to leave a good impression on me. He is quiet because he thinks it is polite and respectful. But now he knows it is unnecessary, because I am his "little fool" on the Internet. That night, we walked in the street for a long time, with no direction. He told me many jokes. The first one was a tomato, and the second one was a rabbit. Third, when his sister was a child, the Spring Festival in Beijing was very cold, but he kept holding my hand and putting it in his leather pocket, which made me feel so warm. We get closer and closer while laughing, and everyone becomes more and more natural, just like lovers in love. When I was in Beijing, my good friend in Shanghai called me and asked him how he was. I only said one. I feel better and better. Later, we went to Hangzhou and Shanghai. I also took him to meet some good friends. They all have a good impression on him. They think it is very important that he is sincere, kind and funny. They even joked that if we broke up in the future, it would be my fault. He really takes care of me. I remember when I visited historical sites in Beijing, I had to change my shoes in many places, every time. Kneel on the ground and change it for me. Many tourists around us are watching us. I was embarrassed and said no, no. But he always smiled and said, it's my pleasure. Even the old man in charge of changing shoes told me bluntly, little girl, your boyfriend is so kind to you. This foreign guy is good. Because he is very polite, he always takes pictures for others and takes things. Many people told me along the way that you are really a good man. I am honest. I am very happy and proud to hear that. Not because he is a foreigner, but because he is a good man. My intuition was right. At the same time, I hope my parents can listen, because they didn't agree at that time, especially my mother, who was quite opposed. I am afraid he lied to me. How can I trust things on the Internet? The first time he came to China, he didn't visit my parents in my hometown. After he returned to China, we talked on the phone almost every day except writing letters and chatting. Every time he calls, my parents begin to believe that we are serious. We began to plan our second meeting. This time, we plan that he will come to China to meet my parents first, and then I will go to Norway with him to visit his country and visit his parents. Six months later, it is National Day. He finally met my parents in my hometown, Chongqing. I was worried that it would be unnatural for conservative parents to have foreigners at home, so I booked a hotel for him near my home, but later my parents offered to let him stay in the hotel and come home. At my home, my parents arranged for him to sleep in my bedroom. I sleep in a crib on the balcony outside my parents' bedroom. I asked him if he felt strange. He said with a smile, of course not. I will respect their arrangement. Although my parents and he can't speak language, his gestures with my father are not bad. Several mornings, I got up and saw my father teaching him to do housework and shine shoes. Seeing his clumsy hands and feet, my mother and I both wanted to laugh. Later, it wasn't that he didn't do the housework well, but the way of the East and the West was different. Especially shoeshine, he is very good at it. He used to be in the army, which is a compulsory course. It's just that he's embarrassed to be too professional, so as not to embarrass my dad. After staying with his parents for a week, his father thought he was honest and reliable. Although my mother didn't say anything, she actually acquiesced. I just don't want to be further away from them. Then I went to Norway with him and stayed with his parents for half a month. I was soon moved by his simplicity and kindness. He took me fishing in the sea and had a picnic by the lake behind the forest with his good friends. Under the beautiful and wonderful northern lights, he suddenly proposed to me, without a ring or flowers, but I said yes. Isn't that romantic enough? I was attracted by the natural scenery of Norway and immersed in the happiness of love. I really feel very happy. He came to China for the third time, and we got married in Shanghai. I always feel lucky. It was unimaginable that two people so far apart could get to know each other, fall in love and start a family. But we did it. We are very happy. I have been thinking that if I didn't surf the Internet on the day we met, and he happened to be at work, or I didn't chat with him, then we wouldn't be here today. He also said that we started from the innermost communication, the most frank and sincere dialogue, which made us actually know each other very well, which is much more stable than face-to-face love. After falling in love with him, my colleagues who know me are envious of me. There is nothing to envy. He is just a person, an ordinary person. If there is anything to envy, it is that I have found someone who loves me, and I belong emotionally. In fact, I am a very low-key person. Except my good friend, I never take the initiative to tell anyone about my foreign love. The first time I took him back to his hometown, I was reluctant to hold his hand in the street. My mother is jealous of others saying that we worship foreign things and flatter foreign countries because she is afraid of others gossiping. My mother is a very conservative and stubborn person. I don't want people to envy me for having a foreign boyfriend, because there is really nothing to envy in my eyes. Later, I thought it was unfair to him. Why should I care about other people's feelings and treat him like this? If I am embarrassed in public because of his skin color, I will not regard him as an "alien" myself. He is just an ordinary man, my love. No matter what others say, I am proud to hold his hand. Sometimes I think that if I hadn't met him, maybe I would have been lucky to find a China boy like him. He fell in love, got married, had children and was very happy. Maybe I'm not so lucky, and I'm still on the edge of my relationship. But I found him. This is destiny. I didn't fall in love with a foreigner to marry him. Everything is fate. Those who think that marrying a foreigner will have many benefits are all wet. Don't think that foreigners are rich, whether they are developed countries or third world countries, just like China. There are rich people and poor people. In Europe, the so-called middle class has a house and a car at best, and there are not many deposits at all. Most of them have to pay back bank loans. I live in Norway now. Although the welfare system in northern Europe is perfect and the living standard is very high, for most people in China, it is not bad in China. Look at the articles written by online students, whether they are from the United States, Britain, Germany, Australia or New Zealand. People still think China is the best. Because our roots are there, we have our own language, our relatives and friends, and the most delicious Chinese food in the world. My husband and I plan to study more in the past two years to lay the foundation for finding a job in China in the future. If we marry a foreigner and go abroad, I can say it is completely unnecessary. My previous job itself had the opportunity to go abroad. What we want most now is to go home. Secondly, some people are in China. This is not a question of nationality, but a question of feelings, which have no national boundaries. People, no matter where they are, have something in common, and they all want to love and be loved. So as long as they really love each other, why care where they come from? If you fall in love with a foreign boy or girl, but you have such concerns, I want to tell you, don't think too much, just consider whether he (she) is sincere to you. In the process of falling in love with my husband and getting married, I deeply feel that although Norwegians are open to sex, once a man gets married or establishes a stable relationship, Norwegians are right. When he is in two places, he always calls every day. Sometimes I think it's unnecessary and too expensive. I didn't know until I came to Norway. This has a lot to do with the influence of his parents. His father's work is a four-hour drive from home, so he only goes home on weekends. For thirty years, no matter how bad the weather is, his father will drive home to reunite with his wife on weekends. In the 1970s and 1980s, roads. On my way home, I had to take a ferry. Sometimes when the weather is bad, the ferry is closed, and his father and car are waiting in the snowstorm. And his father calls his mother every day, and it still does, sometimes several times a day. My husband is deeply influenced by his family in this respect. Moreover, in Norway or northern Europe, I feel that people think more about pure emotional factors in marriage and feelings, and other practical factors are not very important. In the fierce competition. There are too many practical factors to consider in marriage. At this point, I feel lucky. Because today, when human nature is going to be buried by money, it is not easy to build a family simply thinking about love. Now we have been married for two and a half years, live in Norway and have a lovely son. We have always planned to work and live in China. On the one hand, he loves China very much, respects the culture of China very much and likes living in China very much. On the other hand, he also understands that as an only child, according to the tradition of China, I should take good care of my parents when they are old. My husband is half China. He can skillfully use chopsticks, occasionally stir-fry a few bites of Chinese food (of course, my teacher teaches him well), and he respects the culture and tradition of China very much. Every time he talks about China with Norwegian friends, he tells them how well China has been built. Sometimes I meet some people who have misunderstood China, and he is still struggling with them with his own experience to dispel their misunderstanding of China. I am very proud of this. In order to find a job in China in the future, my husband ended his taxi company and went back to school to study pedagogy, because I told him that the best job for foreigners in China is to be a foreign language teacher, and I also turned to sociology. I want to introduce the good experience and system of western welfare countries to China in the future. I just came to this forum these two days, and I am very happy to see that many sisters have a happy foreign-related marriage and family life like me. I fully understand the sweetness and satisfaction between their words describing happiness. I have described my life here, which is very dull, but I am really happy. I hope my sisters who have the same experience can share it with me. Finally, I wish them all a sweet love and a happy life!