Has been belittled by parents, will you feel inferior?

Childhood is the differentiation period of brain development, so the experience of this period lays the foundation for the normal establishment of self-worth in later life. Through the study of the nervous system, we know that there is a reward and punishment center in the brain, which can accept different information stimuli. Children who are often pressured and punished by their parents, the punishment system in the brain has a greater influence on them than the reward system. In this way, when these people become adults, they will feel the rejection or punishment of others more keenly. Thereby forming an inferiority complex.

Because he has a deep sense of worthlessness, he will put himself very low in interpersonal communication, please the other side and wronged himself, and there is no principle or bottom line. He must be very angry when he grows up. Maybe it's because he didn't have so much power when he was young, and he didn't dare to resist the people who had been belittling him. When he grows up, he has strength. Sometimes this person will be very angry and grumpy. There are obstacles in interpersonal relationships.

Bloom, a famous American psychologist, studied the process of nearly a thousand children from birth to adulthood. At this stage, children's psychological development is in a rapid period, and their brains will be internalized into their own rules with their parents' words and deeds, expectations and standards. Therefore, it is undeniable that the long-term depravity of childhood will affect the psychology. After growing up, personality, way of thinking, interpersonal communication and cognitive attitude all come from education and family environment. For minors who have no independent cognitive consciousness, it is often easy to imitate their parents' life and cognitive model, form their own values, and bring this model into adults' lives.

The depravity of childhood will be like putting a spell on the child's head and constantly chanting that you are not good. When such people grow up, it's like being enchanted, saying that they are not good every day. Therefore, modern education emphasizes the need to "encourage" children and praise them more. When children feel better, they will do better and better. A child who feels good inside is a kind of self-confidence, and he will really have a wonderful life.

Not necessarily. 20 15 Guo Qilin once said that he was humble to the bone. When he was young, Degang Guo always left good things for his disciples to eat. Until now, Guo Qilin always asks his father if he can eat anything. He stood in front of his father respectfully with his hands, afraid to say anything more. He is always standing by the phone. Guo Qilin is especially afraid of Degang Guo. He is a strict father. He will make many rules for him, because Degang Guo has suffered too many setbacks. He is afraid that his son will be attacked by the whole world because he is too much like himself. Instead of letting others attack him outside, let his son bear more here. Degang Guo wrote a letter to him at the age of 65,438+08, saying that there are too many bad people in the world, so don't think the world is too beautiful.

Degang Guo's letter has caused a lot of controversy, because many people think that children should be told that the world is beautiful, so that they can take risks. However, Degang Guo doesn't think so. All these nice words are said by outsiders. To tell the truth, only the person who loves himself the most is his father, and he won't harm him. He also hopes that he can see the truest side of the world. It's not nice, but it's all true. Guo Qilin grew up under the pressure of Degang Guo, and this kind of education is not very advocated. Although he is more successful now, he has become "someone else's child". "

I think parents should look at what it is when they belittle their children. Just be sure, don't belittle your children.

When I was a child, I was often the child whose parents said nothing could be done well. They always compare me with others and say that I am not as sweet as my cousin, which will make people happy. Call me short, call me fat and call me ugly. I can't do my homework and I'm too stupid to use my head. Anyway, what they call me is not good at anything, because being belittled for a long time has affected my character and I have been extremely unconfident for a long time. Extremely tired of group activities.

It was not until high school with the help of my classmates and teachers that I gradually got to know myself and got rid of my inferiority complex. In fact, what every child needs in the process of growing up is the encouragement of his parents, not the accusation and abuse. It is necessary to communicate correctly with children in our life, because in the process of communication, parents can know everything about their children to the greatest extent. The basis of understanding all this is that parents should learn how to communicate with their children correctly, and many problems need to be paid attention to in the process of communication.

For children below 16, this negative evaluation will greatly affect a person's self-confidence. As an adult, different people will have different evaluation ratios. Parents will be taller and strangers will be lower, but self-awareness may be more important. Sometimes it's not a question of inferiority, and self-positioning is unreasonable. Most people overestimate themselves, which is caused by the mainstream culture of society and is good for social development. It makes people more motivated to work and do better. But for self-knowledge, sometimes it is necessary to return to rationality.

Children who have been belittled by their parents often can't achieve great things, which will form your inferiority complex.

What do children need to grow up? We need encouragement, support and recognition.

Often belittled by parents, I'm afraid it's hard to say "my child is great" and "my child is very powerful and really smart" from parents' mouths. In parents' cognition, they think that children have no ability, can't learn, and can't do anything, so they belittle children blindly. If children don't feel the recognition from their parents for a long time, they will go outside to win the recognition of others, bully children and steal things, and such activities will increase. Because no matter how well you do, you won't get the affirmation of your parents, so you might as well forget it. The harder you hit the child, the worse his study will be.

Let me tell you a story. Before marriage, there was a foreign women who thought her husband was a gentleman and loved her, her family and her children. However, after getting married, she felt that her life was a mess. Her husband refused to go downstairs and asked her to send the food upstairs. She never takes care of her life and speaks ill of her. She went crazy later. After she went crazy, she said all day that she had a warm family, a capable husband and a lovely child.

Why is this happening? She didn't get her husband's affirmation, her husband's attention and her husband's approval for a long time. Her heart was crushed bit by bit, and then she went crazy. What she said after she went crazy was a beautiful picture she imagined. She did not hesitate to gain inner satisfaction and inner recognition at the expense of her own madness. It's true. After she went crazy, she lived in her own fantasy, and everything was beautiful.

It also has something to do with her. If so, you should affirm yourself, encourage yourself and make yourself stronger, because you can't change your parents. What you can do is to change yourself, learn to exercise, and arrange your time to be full, so that parents can see the change of their children again. Be sure to act in advance, live your own life and manage your own life.

Has been belittled by parents, will you feel inferior?

Not necessarily!

Because in addition to parents, neighbors, and most importantly, teachers, there are other relatives!

In the student period, it is the teacher who guides and regulates the students.

Once, I had a student who was normal and ordinary in my eyes, not special at all.

But one day, the parents of the students came to me and asked if the students had come to school during this time. I was surprised because all the students were normal. My parents told me that the students quarreled with their parents the other day and ran away from home.

I called the students and made peace with their families. It turns out that students are staying at classmates' houses these days.

For students, the authoritative figures who guide themselves forward are the most important, and everything else is secondary.

However, there should not be a big gap between the strengths of students at home and the treatment received by teachers, especially the education of teachers should be as philosophical as possible, otherwise this contrast will make immature children have more ideas that they should not have.

I am a student, too. I was excellent until I met a national excellent teacher. I not only got good grades, but also won a national prize.

After meeting excellent teachers, I felt I was in heaven. Compared with the family educated by my parents, it is simply hell. As a result, I hated my parents for a while, but fortunately I didn't die.

Later, after the student came to my class, he got to know his parents, only a little more education, only two hours at a time, and nothing else was wrong. Then arrange students to guide him, especially the education of philosophy has been strengthened.

Children's inferiority is not mainly from criticism, but from the contrast of lack of philosophical education guidance.

If parents can play their double roles, one encourages and the other urges (including belittling), the educational effect should be much stronger than simply praising.

Encouragement is the guiding direction, and spur is the determination of boundaries, which is what students need for growth.

My father is also a typical strict father, probably because he is a teacher. I understand that for the traditional fatherly love in the East, direct expression of emotions is an obstacle, and beating is kissing and scolding is love. But when I accept this kind of frustration education, most of what I feel is only frustration. I can't change or resist the frustration education he advocated, so I sat down and slowly thought about why many people appreciate this way.

First, many students jump off buildings, and now children's psychological endurance is not enough. I suddenly realized that I live so big, mostly because I am too thick-skinned.

Secondly, a kind of praise for frustration education is not to praise you for experiencing setbacks plus setbacks plus setbacks, but to praise your loyal wife after setbacks.

Being scolded in junior high school is a bit withdrawn, depressed and inferior. In high school, under the influence of the knowledgeable class teacher, I met many particularly cheerful people and read a lot of books. After seeing the wider world, I found how narrow it is to stick myself on the negative me in my father's mouth. After I opened myself up, I paid more attention to my feelings and thoughts, and despised other people's bad reviews, not to mention that your parents were really good for you.

Therefore, landlord, I believe that your inferiority is not only due to your parents, but also to learn to go out. External force should not be the decisive factor of our character.

Most of them will, but some of them will not. Because the answer is not absolute. For example, I was belittled by my parents and felt a little inferior at first. But then it aroused my strong desire to resist.

When a person feels inferior. You will become timid, hesitant and indecisive. If you do things intermittently, others will regard you as a person who knows nothing. Even if I can, I dare not do it or say it because of my inferiority. You just have to keep silent.

Inferiority is not terrible. The terrible thing is that you dare not face it. Parents belittle you blindly. If you are afraid, you won't think that everything your parents say is right. If you face it correctly. Prove to my parents that I can do better, more right and stronger if you belittle me. One day they will understand.

Yes, I will.

There are four brothers and sisters in our family. I belong to the type that I don't study well, have a big temper and are lazy. The main reason is that I am straightforward and stubborn. Sometimes I have finished my work. Perhaps because of a sentence, parents will not praise, but will scold. Of course, I am very wronged. The end result of talking back is to be beaten or scolded worse.

Most importantly, more children at home means more places to compare. My sister studies well, my second sister has a good temper, my brother is a boy, my parents' baby, and everything is right. The point is that I study well. Then I don't study hard, and I have a big temper. It's strange not to be belittled by my mother.

For example, when my mother introduced me, she said that the boss learned to be good, the second learned to be clever and sensible, and the third (that is, me) was lazy and had a big temper. When I was young, no one had any self-esteem, and what's more, I was so grumpy that I threw my face on the spot, and the scene was once embarrassing. My parents pointed to people who were lost when they came home, or met people from other villages, and chatted casually. At this time, it is a long story. I can't speak when I stand by. People are noisy when I walk. "Just like you promote me every day. It is estimated that there are few people in Shili Village who don't know that I am lazy and bad-tempered. You are the one who preaches "my mother". How did I preach it? Look at you now. It's not a good thing to see people from a distance, with drooping faces and upturned nostrils.

The most typical case is 1. Always walk with your head down and lean against the wall (you are afraid to say hello when you meet an acquaintance, or you are asked what you have done, but you are afraid of being asked or answered about small things) 2. I'm afraid to look into other people's eyes (I'm afraid to see contempt or disdain or ridicule in other people's eyes, which is unbearable) 3. I'm afraid to stand in the crowd and talk. I can't accept everyone's eyes staring at me (even if I am taken out to answer questions in class, I will be so scared that I will only pay attention to whether my classmates are watching my jokes. What should I do? I just have a lot of ideas. At that time, I didn't know that there was another sentence that said, "Don't take yourself too seriously, people may be sleeping, staring blankly, playing mobile phones, and few people are paying attention to you", but I will still be afraid and care.

Finally, inferiority complex is certain. Influenced by childhood education and environment, it is engraved in the bones, but it is not immutable and uncontrollable. Many people probably feel the same way as me. When I was young, I didn't want to live, and I didn't expect it every day. Once, I was very autistic. But with the growth of age and experience, I gradually convinced myself, and gradually established confidence, so that I could live more easily and care less about other people's eyes. You can look others in the eyes when you speak, and try to speak for yourself when there are many people, and there will be a good change slowly. In fact, when I grow up, I find that my parents love me, but they love me in the wrong way. What we can do is not to complain blindly, but to adjust ourselves. Of course, if complaining is useful, I can speak for n days, as long as I don't feel inferior.