Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Super cold joke

Super cold joke

1, a couple, husband surnamed Zhou and wife surnamed Xia, gave birth to seven children, named Monday to Monday, and later gave birth to another one. What is your name, please?

next Monday

2. Girlfriend: I want two grapefruit.

Me: I bought two at 1 and they will arrive tomorrow.

Girlfriend: Hum, you know nothing about romance.

Me: Did you buy less? Should I buy ten?

Girlfriend: …

What does your girlfriend want?

I want two grapefruit = I want to see you.

Do you know the name of mermaid when she was young?

A. goldfish

B. koi fish

C. a creaking person

D. the little mermaid

C. The young woman is called the yellow flower girl, and the young mermaid is called the yellow croaker.

4. Is there a chicken or an egg first in the world?

A. chicken

B. eggs

C.i don't know

D. none of the above is true

B: eggs of other animals first, then chickens.

5. Why do some girls call menstruation good friends?

Women have a month.

There are two prisoners in the prison. One night, all the prisoners escaped, but the next day the guards opened the prison door and found another prisoner inside?

There is a prisoner named all.

7. Question: What are cloth and paper afraid of?

A: cloth is afraid of 10 thousand, paper is afraid of one thousand.

Reason: not (cloth) afraid of 10 thousand, just (paper) afraid of one thousand.

8. The host asked: Can cats climb trees?

The eagle replied first: Yes!

Compere: Give an example!

The eagle burst into tears: that year, I fell asleep, the cat climbed the tree … and then there was the owl …

9.MM got lost in college and met a gentle professor.

Excuse me, how can I get to the star university?

Professor: Only by studying hard can you go to a star university.

10, you said: I love you 52 1.

He also said: 365 per day

Result = 886

1 1, the mobile phone is in arrears. I call 1860 to ask how to pay the bill. A: Sorry, your phone is out of service. Please contact 1860 for details.

12, people asked me what men should pursue.

I replied: money and beauty. So people began to despise me. ...

People ask me again what men should pursue?

I said: career and love! So, people began to worship me. ...

13, two ants were walking on the road when they suddenly saw a big pear. (Type the name of the country)

One: Ant A: "Hey, big pear? (Italy)

Two: Ant B: "Shh, pear." (Syria)

Ant A: "Oh, big pear." (Australia)

Four: Ant B: "Hey, move." (Spain)

Five: Ant A: "I'll do it!" (Brunei)

Six: Ant B: "Take it home." (Bulgaria)

Seven: Can't hold back, Ant A has an idea: "Eat pears." (Kenya)

Eight: Ant B took a bite and said, "The pear is not tender." (Lebanon)

Nine: Ant A also took a bite and said, "Noodles." (Myanmar)

Ten: Ant B took another bite and said, "A pear." (Israel)

Xiao Bai looks like his brother. Type an idiom.

A: The reason is clear.

15, a: how about it? This book is not bad, is it?

B: Great! It's a masterpiece. There is no nonsense at all, concise and powerful. However, there is a disadvantage, that is, there are too many people!

Nurse: Hello! You two ... put the phone book back.

16, a doctor in a mental hospital asked the patient: What would you do if I cut off one of your ears?

The patient replied, then I can't hear you.

The doctor listened: mm-hmm, it's normal. The doctor asked again, what will happen to you if I cut off your other ear again?

The patient replied, then I won't watch it.

The doctor began to get nervous: how could it not be seen?

The patient replied: because the glasses will fall off.

17, ten screen names that confuse administrators.

1. Call the "unknown" whistleblower: "Administrator, I report"

Administrator: "Who?"

Whistleblower: "I don't know"

Administrator: "... get out ..."

2. Informant with signature "Please wait": "Administrator, I report"

Administrator: "Who?"

Whistleblower: "Please wait"

Administrator: "OK, hurry up!" " "

In a minute.

Administrator: "Who is it?"

Whistleblower: "Please wait! ! ! "

Administrator: "Wait for you, get out ..."

3. Say its name: "It's me"

Whistleblower: "I report! ! ! "

Administrator: "Who?"

Whistleblower: "It's me"

Administrator: "Very good, you can … seal it!" " "

Whistleblower: "... help ..."

4. Name it "Hey, Hey, Hey"

Whistleblower: "Administrator, someone uses the plug-in, I want to report it!" " "

Administrator: "OK, who is it?"

Whistleblower: "Hey."

Administrator: "... who is it? "

Whistleblower: "Hey."

Administrator: "Somebody, call the mental hospital ..."

5. Name it "Administrator"

Whistleblower: "Brother Administrator, if someone uses a plug-in, I will report it."

Administrator: "OK, who is it?"

Whistleblower: It's the "administrator".

Administrator: "Who? Who are you talking about? "

Whistleblower: "Administrator".

Administrator: "* * *, is it necessary for me to use a plug-in? Kill you! ***。 "

6. Name: I won't say anything until I die

Whistleblower: "Administrator, I report it."

Administrator: "Report again? Who? "

Whistleblower: "I will not say anything until I die."

Administrator: "*! If you are full and have nothing to do, roll! "

18, there was once a eunuch.

There is nothing down there.

19, using division to make sentences

Child: A train passes by, besides, besides. ...

20. Jin Yong 14 This book can be connected into a poem: Flying snow shoots the white deer in the original sky, laughing at the book god Xia Yibi Garden.

JK Rowling's seven books can also be one sentence: What are they?

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

2 1, do you know what is in Da Vinci's code?

I don't know

This is Ada Finch's account. What about The Da Vinci Code?

Let me see.

This is Da Vinci's verification code. So simple that you don't even know it.

22. You have plum blossom-like nobility, glacial temperament, distinctive connotation and unparalleled coldness, so we all call you _ _ _ _ _ _ _.

Mei Chuan, cool.

23. Teacher: "Please turn the sentence" The horse ran away "into a question."

Frye: "Can a horse run?"

Teacher: "Correct! Very good! Now turn it into an imperative sentence. "

Frye: "Drive!"

24. What is the best unicorn?

Ice cream.

What Kirin runs fastest?

Michelin.

25. Who gave you the water of forgetting?

aha

("Aha, give me a glass of forgetful water")

26. A doctor received a phone call from a colleague at home: playing mahjong, three are short of one!

The doctor said, I'll be right there!

The wife asked: Is it serious?

The doctor said quietly, it's serious. There are already three doctors there. o(╯□╰)o

27. I just passed a primary school computer room and suddenly found a piece of paper posted on their window, which read: Prevent Mars from flying into the room!

I thought: This school is science fiction, and then I thought … Oh …