Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Kneel down and beg! A sketch script by four people about civility and courtesy. Urgent, urgent~
Kneel down and beg! A sketch script by four people about civility and courtesy. Urgent, urgent~
In the Marxist philosophy class, Teacher Ma Zhe is speaking with gusto, and two students in the audience are also talking eloquently) Ma: Students, the world is material, and matter is motion. Yes, exercise has rules, and the rules can be mastered! Mastered! . . . . .
(The teacher found that the two students in the audience were only talking about themselves and not listening to his lecture, so he walked towards the two students)
Ma: I said, what are you two talking about? Come, come, come, tell me. Come on, you (referring to a student)!
(The two students were very embarrassed. One of them stood up with a red face)
Ma: (The teacher picked up the cup and asked), tell me what this is! ?
A: Isn’t this a cup?
Teacher: Who told you this is a cup! I just said this is a bucket, okay?
A: Everyone knows this is a cup? ! What a joke, why is it a barrel?
Ma: Didn’t I say it! The world is material. You can say it is material, but you cannot say it is a cup. Every substance is given a name by humans!
A: But it is just a cup, so I still call you a bucket!
Ma: What? What? What did you say? Say it again!
A: I didn’t say anything!
Ma: Then let me ask you why you never listen to the class? From the beginning till now.
A: No! I have been listening carefully!
Ma: Really? Then let me ask you, tell me, why is a dog alive?
A: Huh? Why is the dog alive? Doesn’t it live just to eat?
Ma: Then why are you alive? ! Are you here to eat too? ? Then are you the same as a dog?
A: Teacher, why do you say that! Why are you swearing?
Ma: I’m not scolding you, I’m just telling you the truth! You said that your non-stop lecturing affects everyone and my lectures! Chairman Mao taught us to study hard and make progress every day. How do you understand this!
B: Teacher, I’m sorry, he was discussing anti-terrorism issues with me just now and didn’t pay attention.
Ma: Is this classmate’s consciousness quite high? OK, then tell me, what are General Secretary Jiang’s “Three Represents”?
B: Three representatives? represent. . . . Representative
Ma: Why can’t you tell me? This is very relevant to our daily life!
B: Oh, representative, represents my interests, represents everyone’s interests, represents the interests of General Secretary Jiang and his elders.
Ma: You. . . you. . . A child cannot be taught, and a rotten tree cannot be carved! Come with me to the department office after class!
(A, B, exit the horse)
Act 2: In the office of the dean of the department
Ma: Counselor, I can’t teach this class!
Fu: Oh, why are you so angry?
Ma: Today’s students are amazing! I don’t even know what the three representatives are! What you say in class is still unreasonable! How can students like this be worthy of the New China created by our older generation of proletarian revolutionaries, the Party, and the people? They don’t have any theoretical knowledge at all, so you have to educate them well!
Fu: Okay, okay, I will do it, don’t worry.
Ma: I have to attend a seminar on people’s work, so I’m leaving first. (To A and B) Review carefully! Marx is watching you! (Exit)
Assistant: Why are you two standing? Sit down.
A and B: Oh, thank you, teacher.
Assistant: Do you know why you are here?
A: I know, let’s talk in class.
B: But what the teacher said was too boring, so we only talked when we were really bored.
Assistant: Oh, so you mean you don’t have to listen if you’re not interested? !
A: We didn’t say that.
B: Teacher, this is what you said.
Assistant: Oh? good! Let’s talk about something else then! Hey, do you know the recent NBA games?
A: The Rockets finally won. Yao Ming scored 25 points, 12 rebounds, and 6 assists. He was so handsome!
B`: What? Yao Ming is nothing, O'Neal still scored 30 points! He is the king of the basket.
A: Have you forgotten? Yao Ming also blocked O'Neal's 2 shots last time?
B; So what! If you were that tall, you could also cover it.
A: I'm not interested in O'Neal anyway, whatever you say 1
B: I don't like Yao Ming being so thin! What you said has nothing to do with me.
(The two were speechless and ignored each other)
Assistant: Why don’t you stop arguing?
A: He doesn’t like Yao Ming, so it’s useless to talk.
B: He is not interested in O'Neal, so he is playing the piano to others.
Assistant: Oh, you also know that if others are not interested, you will not be motivated to speak. The same goes for teachers. If you don't listen, how can the teacher teach well? You should learn to respect each other. Only by respecting others will others respect you!
(A and B look at each other and lower their heads in shame) Assistant: The teacher’s lectures can sometimes be boring, but he has put in all his hard work! You should respect his efforts! We follow a people-centered education policy. We not only teach you knowledge, but more importantly, teach you how to behave. It takes ten years to cultivate trees and a hundred years to cultivate people. Your future success depends on your accumulation now, bit by bit. And respecting others is the first thing you must learn. I say this, do you agree?
A and B: Teacher, we were wrong
(End)
"Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow"
School version, Reflects the relationship between teachers and students.
Set: one desk, three sets of tables and chairs
Characters: teacher, student Yang Erya, student Li Daidi, student Chen Ni
Chen Chang: We ordinary people, I'm so happy today... (Go to the seats)
Li Chang: The sun is shining in the sky, and the flowers are smiling...
Yang said: The west wind withered the green trees last night, and I just went downstairs. , I can’t see the way to study.
When... (Who?) Zhang Huimei
Yang: Hey, big news, big news! The class teacher was so angry that we ran away again, and our class has a new class teacher! I heard that the surname is Hou.
Chen; That's good, a "sheep" just left in anger, and another "monkey" came.
Li: Who cares about monkeys? Even if Sun Wukong comes, he still has to be angry and go back to Huaguo Mountain.
Yang: OK! If you grit your teeth and don't relax, you will continue to work in chaos. I have tried to persuade you to be correct, but whoever comes to protect you will be upset. yeah!
Teacher;: Enter the classroom and "come to class!"
Chen: Get up, stand up.
Teacher: Hello, students, please sit down. First of all, let me introduce myself. I am your new class teacher. My last name is Hou.
Students together: "Monkey"? (Ha...hey...)
Teacher: Quiet, please introduce yourself.
Yang: Teacher, her name is Chen Ni, and her name is Li Daidi.
Chen, Li: Her name is Yang Erya.
Teacher;: Don’t the students know who they are? Ask someone else to introduce you. Okay, let me announce the monthly exam results next, right? Yang Erya 76, Li Daidi 67, Chen Ni 49.
Chen: Ah! Tonight it’s time to stir-fry shredded pork on a bamboo board.
Yang, Li: How do you say this?
Chen: Do you know something? Every time I go home after taking an exam, women's singles will be played if the score is below 80, men's singles will be if the score is below 70, and mixed doubles will be if the score is below 60. This time I was dead.
Teacher: Stop talking and analyze the reasons why you did not do well in the exam. Write me a written reflection, your feelings must be profound.
Teacher: Okay, let’s read the reflection to everyone?
Li: How much do you know about Spring Flowers and Autumn Moon? When is the exam? Now I have handed out the test papers again, but the results are too bad to look back in my schoolbag. The lingering fear from last time is still there, but the subjects have changed.
When will you be able to come forward? Just like a river of spring water flowing eastward.
Chen Chang: Who cares about how miserable I am? Who cares about where I will go tomorrow, my poor grades, how many looks I have received, and how much pain I have suffered. Actually
I feel more pain than anyone else.
Yang: When will the high scores be achieved? I wonder if the exam will be strict when I go to school tomorrow? I want to work hard, hear the rooster crow at three o'clock, and turn on the light to watch at five o'clock. Unfortunately, I am dull and have incomplete intelligence.
I also sigh at the mountain of books and the sea, and there should be hatred. Who said that my will is not strong, the moon waxes and wanes, my grades in life are good and bad
, and it is difficult to reach the sky. This matter is difficult to solve in ancient times, but I hope that after working hard, my name will be in front of Sun Shan.
Teacher: I haven’t complained yet, but you have already. Why!
Sing: I don’t know, why is this? Students are not what I imagined, they just can’t find the direction of education, let alone be full of hope. Standing in the classroom,
with tears in my heart, I don’t know where to go?
Student: wink and laugh.
The bell rings for the end of get out of class...
Student: Victory in the first battle, yeah! Go home!
Teacher: In the dead of night, it’s the time when I’m upset. When I’m upset, I don’t sleep, and students all come to my mind. (Said:) No! These little guys seem to be deliberately against me. It seems that they can't do it in light eyes, hey! By the way, the new curriculum reform now requires optimizing the teacher-student relationship, eh!
That’s it.
Yang: Hey, who cleaned the floor so cleanly? There's a new table cover. Hey, where are the chair cushions?
Teacher;: Class is here. Today we are learning to calculate the area of ??a parallelogram. Please see, what I am holding are two identical trapezoids.
Now I put them together, what do you see?
Students: Whispering and making small moves.
Laoshi Chang: The students across the street look over, look over, I’m speaking very wonderfully here. Please take a look first.
Student: I looked left, right, up, down, but I couldn’t understand. Come, come, come...
Teacher: Hey! Nothing can be done? Just go up here today, right?
Chen: No, no, Li Daidi and Zhang Jiagan are fighting. The head was broken. Let’s take a look, shall we? And: Let's go
Teacher: Welcome at the door, don't go, you can study peacefully in the classroom, leave this matter to me.
Chen: Li Daidi is in dire straits this time. His family is so poor, so why should he pay for medical expenses?
Yang: Will the teacher fire him? Will she tell her mother? Her mother is sick.
Chen: Maybe, this teacher is quite fierce.
He: Let’s pray for him, right?
Chen Chang: I pray that Li Daidi comes back safely. Although he is injured, he will be fine when he comes back.
Yang Chang: I pray that the teacher can be more lenient and never expel me.
Li: He walked into the classroom dejectedly, with gauze wrapped around his head.
Teacher: Your face is calm. It’s okay. I’m going to get my homework book and prepare for class.
Yang, Chen: Hey, how is it?
Li: Forget it, the teacher arrived at the hospital and without saying a word, he ran back and forth to help me find a doctor and pay the medical bills without saying a word of complaint. See
my head is bleeding and the teacher is crying like a tearful person. Is it too unfair for us to treat him like this? The teacher is very aggressive with us.
Student: We all blamed her wrongly.
Teacher: Class!
Student: Hello, teacher!
Teacher: Stunned
Li Chang: Teacher, I'm sorry, it's not that I don't love you, I really don't want to, and it makes you sad again.
Students sing: Teacher, I’m sorry, I’m not trying to embarrass you, I really don’t want to, and it makes you angry again.
The teacher sings: It doesn’t matter, it really doesn’t matter. At least you have admitted your mistake. You don’t have to torture yourself sadly, and you don’t need too many commitments. I just need you to study hard.
, is enough for me, there are many memories in a person's life. 合: Thinking of you makes me very sweet.
Teacher: Today we learn a short poem "The Psalm of Love"
Teacher: Love is a mountain spring
Yang: How many dry hearts have been nourished
p>
Teacher: Love is the rain and dew
Li: How many happy homes have been nurtured
Teacher: Love is the spring breeze
Chen: Drives away the winter The severe cold
Teacher: Love is a lighthouse
Yang: Let the distance between hearts no longer be far apart
Teacher: Hold out your heart
Students: hold out my heart
Teacher: use our hearts
Students: use our love
Together: to dedicate to: yesterday , today, tomorrow
17
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