Ask for a joke that can make parents laugh, and use it urgently tomorrow.

Have a look, hehe, I hope I can help you. I bought a skirt a few days ago, and today I put it on for the first time to "show off" in front of my parents and tell them that I really like the lace on it. At that time, my dad said, "I have used mosquito nets for decades and now they are called lace." Oh, my God, 1. Mom, have my sneakers been washed? My mother:. . . . . . . . I washed it. . . . . . . . Part of me: which part? My mom: Shoelaces. . . . Me: ........... 2. One day, my mother saw Mike on TV. Jackson's camera took a long time to tell me: Why does this woman look like a man? 3. Popular QQ car mom: Qiu Qiu me: QQ mom: buckle me: QQ mom: ball me: ... 4. Call home. My mother answered and asked me who I was. I called "Mom", and my mother agreed, and then asked "Who are you?" I am crazy: "Do you have any other daughters besides me?" ~ ~ ~ ~ 5. My mother has a pair of colleagues, female 1.5m,1.30,40kg ~ ~ male 1.9m, very thin ~ ~ My mother described to me: "They stand together, just a pencil and an eraser ~ ~" 6. I bask in the sun. That time, I actually took a kitchen knife and wanted to cut down the wall. She is concentrating on cutting the wall. My grandfather came in, stared at her faintly and said, "Are you crazy?" 7. Once my mother cooked the eggs at home, then peeled and pickled them. Then I saw a very small egg and ate it secretly. Later, my mother looked for this egg everywhere and shouted, "There is an egg streaking in the kitchen!" " 8. I am lovelorn, depressed and emaciated. Dad was worried when he saw it, but he didn't do it for decades. Parenting education didn't know how to enlighten him for some time. One day, I couldn't eat or answer. Dad is anxious and painful. He struck the table: "You are party member, and I am party member. What can't be discussed between party member and party member! " I just laughed when I was lovelorn. 9. One day I ran on the floor after taking a shower, and my slippers were covered with water, so I slipped. Knock, knock, knock yourself all over the floor, only the neck is still upturned. It was a kind of pain, so I shouted, and my mother came over and asked, didn't you fall down and chew the mud? "No" and "That's fine", so I went back to my house to watch TV. I'm still lying on the floor at the moment. My mother is losing weight. When she was eating, she said to me, "XX, give me more rice. I can only eat one bowl." . . . "1 1. Another time, my mother came back from seeing my grandmother ~ ~ My grandmother's house is far from home ~ ~ When she came back, I asked her how my grandmother was ~ ~ My mother said," My body is fine, but my arm is a little weak, especially when I was moving things, and I kept shaking ~ ~ "I haven't picked up the crops yet. Mother-in-law: Oh, thank you! You are welcome! Happy, happy! I:-_-|||||13. My mother and I both speculate in stocks, but she has been speculating for longer than me and is an old stockholder. I often ask him for advice. One day, I wanted to throw away a stock in my hand and asked her not to let me throw it. The next day, I texted my mother and said, smelly mom, I don't think you will let me throw it away. . . My mother replied: smelly son, it doesn't matter. . . . Dizziness. . I am a woman. . . . 14. It is said that a classmate's mother's classmate is watching the cartoon Slam Dunk. When her mother passed by, she happened to see Sineitai of Rukawa Kaede dancing on her lap: "Rukawa Kaede, I love you! "My classmates and mother are very confused and ask: What organization is this? Classmate: ... 15. My ex-boyfriend came to my house to help me repair my computer, and my mother saw him come back early. At dinner, my mother asked him who he was, because my father didn't allow me to fall in love at that time, so I said it was my best friend's BF, so I "borrowed" it to repair my computer, and then my mother began to educate me not to get too close to other people's BF. What do you want them to do in case you have a spark? 16. My grandmother never likes watching TV. Once, she put on an army performance or something. The PLA is crawling forward. My wife is sitting a little far away, and her eyesight is not very good. She shouted to me, "Come and see how fast this toad jumps. 17. When I was a freshman, no one had a mobile phone at that time, so my dad had to call me at my dormitory. One day my dad called and a roommate answered. Roommate: "Hello, who are you looking for? "My dad:" Hello, hello, I'm looking for my baby daughter. " Roommate: "#% ... #%, uncle, here are baby daughters. "18. Once, someone gave a puppy. We discussed naming the puppy. At first, my dad didn't respond, and suddenly he said, let's call it a game. We all feel good. My mother also said, well, good! I like competition. I am very competitive. After a long time, my dad said, we have a colleague named Li Sai. 19. One morning, I rode that broken bike to work. My mother called me on the way. Because I didn't wear headphones, I said to hang up quickly. I am riding a bike. The old man said leniently, well, drive carefully. 20. I had a perm the other day. When I got home, my mother asked me in shock: Did you touch the switch? 2 1. Once, my mother said that I was the queen mother of our family. I'm very proud. What queen mother, queen mother of the west? My mother said, too thick-skinned! 22. My father didn't like small animals at first, but after keeping them for so many years, he changed from a habit to a liking, but he refused to admit it. He often said in front of my mother and me, "I will strangle you if you are not at home. "In fact, as soon as he gets home downstairs every day, he will blow his whistle and then go upstairs. The first sentence is, did the cat meow? Did the dog bark? Cats and dogs hear their father's whistle like electricity. 23. My mother texted me and asked me what I had for lunch. I said I went to Huangshanghuang and bought a dried salted duck. My mother quickly sent me a text message: you son of a bitch, you are so talented! I can't remember what kind of party my mother received that day, so my father asked my mother, "Can I bring a couple?" Mom said, "Where's the luggage? Just a party. What luggage should I take? 25. In the evening, my mother and I lie on the sofa. I raised my leg and pinched my thick calf. I said to my mother, "Mom, if I sleep tonight, I will find the meat on my calf gone tomorrow morning!" " My mother gave me a cross look and said, "If you come together tomorrow morning, you will find that your calves are thin and there is a pile of meat beside your bed. It won't scare you to death!" " 26. Another time, I watched a good man come. I was so excited that I said to my mother, "Mom, look, they are all handsome guys." As a result, my mother replied to me bored: "What's there to see? What's the use of being handsome? It's not your object! " 27. One day, my mother and I went shopping and met one of my classmates on the way. My classmate greeted my mother and said that my aunt is so young! My mother smiled proudly at once and quickly grabbed my classmate's hand and said, "Go, go! Let's go shopping together! I'll buy you a skirt, too! ! "28. My mother just used her mobile phone a few years ago, and she never sends text messages. One day, I recorded a short message with my mother as follows: Mom: What are you doing? ) me: ah, mom, you can send text messages, haha. Mom: I yawned after half an hour (I think I hit Hado). Mom: The wind gently blew away my thoughts of you. Me: Mom, what are you doing? Mom: Practice writing letters. . . . A few hours later, I received countless harassing text messages from my mother. Later, my mother called: "How do you spell my daughter? I said, what are you doing, mom? " Answer: "Nothing. "Five minutes later, I received a message from my mother," the sea growled, pouring out my deep affection for you. . . . Completely vomiting blood and fainting! 29. Sitting on the sofa with my mother watching crayon Shinchan, I suddenly want to ask my mother: Shinchan is so cute ~ What will you do if I have a son in the future? " My mother slowly turned her head, stared at me in horror and said slowly, "strangle and reincarnate!" " "I almost choked to death by peanuts ~ 30. One year in the World Cup, my father, my brother and I were watching the game closely. My mother whispered, "This floor needs carpet." The remaining six pairs of glasses suddenly dull! 3 1. I called home once in middle school-"Mom" "Who is it? "In addition to me, who call your mother? ! ) "I, * * (my name)"—"Oh, * * went to school, please call back tonight." After that, I hung up ... I was sweating ... 32. I've been getting fat recently and complaining about losing weight. My mother always blocked me with a classic saying: A skinny camel is bigger than a horse, so forget about ............................................ My father said I was your mother. . . . Sweating. . . How can you be my mother? My father explained that every time I call, I always talk to my mother. He wants to pretend to be my mother and talk to me more. I went to see my grandfather yesterday and wore a dark blue collared dress. My grandfather stared at me for a long time and said, I look like a cook today ... I'm sweating ... 34. In the summer vacation of college, I bought a skirt and showed it off in front of my mother, hoping she could praise me. My mother asked me to show her around, and I finished watching it. I asked her, "What's the matter?" My mother said, "it's okay, all the bags are wrapped." "35. I went home and rang the doorbell. My mother asked "Who" and I answered "May". One day, my mother went out to ring the doorbell. I asked "who" and my mother replied "May's mother". Tell me about my aunt. She traveled to Hong Kong for a year. Sister asked her to bring s.h.e records and hello kitty's little twins, and the old man brought them back. 37. I have a classmate whose parents are funnier. Aaron Kwok saw the advertisement of Head & Shoulders while watching TV at night. Her father said "Zhu Shimao is so small", and her mother turned to say "Yes, it was Zhu Shimao who fell (Chongqing dialect, meaning: it was really Zhu Shimao)". I complained to my mother that you made me so fat. 38. My mother flew over and said, "When I gave birth to you, you weighed more than 4 kg, which was none of my business ..." 39. When my uncle and I discussed Jiuzhaigou, my grandmother smiled. What is there to see in Leek Valley? Have you seen leeks?