Are there any jokes that can be used in the campaign?

Hello, dear comrades. I'm running for office today. On this sacred day, I swear that if I succeed in the election, I will definitely turn over a new leaf and start a new life. Don't let the tragedy repeat itself. I hope everyone will support it. It doesn't matter if you don't support it. This setback, my young mind can still bear. Thank you for your applause!