25 jokes that absolutely make you cramp.

1. When I was eating with my friends, the baby beside me kept crying, which annoyed me. My friend said let me be considerate and learn to put myself in other's shoes. Now that I'm sitting in a stroller, I still feel bored.

second, getting up early can really do a lot of things, for example, sleeping again.

3. Boys take their girlfriends for a walk and pass by restaurants. The girlfriend exclaimed, "It smells good!" The cash-strapped boy said very gentlemanly, "If you like, we'll walk in front of the restaurant again."

4. When one or two people say I'm fat, I don't think so, but when more and more people say I'm fat, I know the seriousness of the matter, and there are more and more liars.

5. People who love to eat are all good people. Because they are desperate for food, they have no time to harm people.

VI. When I went shopping in the supermarket today, I saw two monks' shopping carts full. I thought the monks were really rich. When I checked out, the cashier asked him if he would pay in cash or by credit card. One of them said, we are here for alms.

7. When I was a child, when I saw my parents' wedding photos on the wall, I always thought it was because I was too young to climb such a high wall!

8. I heard that people with big faces are generally super good-tempered, because it's really hard to turn against each other with big faces.

nine. I tell you, no matter how thin your figure is, as long as you have a big round face, you will give others the first impression of being a fat man.

1. Q: What's the difference between Master and Master? God replied, "Master, there is a demon ahead!" "Master, turn right ahead."

Xi. I don't like to speak ill of others behind their backs. If I have the leisure, I might as well stab him in the back.

12. I went to the station to see a friend off. When I was leaving, he rushed out of the station several times but was stopped by the security personnel. I know he was reluctant. After all, I still have my luggage.

13. Class reunion. The best classmate said, I'll pay the bill this time! I objected on the spot: why do you pay the bill this time? You will pay the bill every time in the future!

XIV. How to smoke gracefully in public places? God replied: put the burning end in your mouth.

15. Please remember one sentence: Have breakfast! Of course, it's not because you are unhealthy, but because it's the cheapest meal of your day.

16. Self-timer is something that is destined for three minutes and depends on the filter for seven minutes.

XVII. I don't want any status, and I don't want any status. I just want to simply become a rich man.

18. The prince becomes a frog, and it takes three kisses from the princess to become a human. The frog prince found the princess and asked her for help. The princess kissed her twice and thought it was delicious, so she made a fried frog.

XIX. Today, I called the mobile customer service, and the customer service answered the phone and said, "Hello, it's my pleasure to serve you." I said, "You are happy too early." Then I hung up the phone.

2. Besides the rich, there are two kinds of people in the world: those who scrimp and save to buy luxury goods to pretend to be rich, and those who scrimp and save and can't afford luxury goods.

21st. Xiao Wang bought a car with a loan. Later, because he could not repay the loan in time, the bank took his car. Xiao Wang was so annoyed that he patted his thigh and said, "I knew this would happen. I should have got married with a loan!" "

22. After you left, my life was dark and there was no light, which greatly improved the quality of sleep.

XXIII. Every time I face delicious food, I tell myself, "If I eat too much, I will die." But it turns out that I'm not afraid of death at all.

XXIV. When I was a child, I was sick and had a fever. My mother went to call a doctor for an injection. I understood. My father couldn't hold me back because of all kinds of rolling, splashing and crying. Later, when the doctor came, I rolled and sweated, and my fever was gone.

25. Men like women's pretty faces, and women like men's sweet words, so women learn to make up and men learn to lie.