Joke Collection Website - Cold jokes - Eight long humorous jokes

Eight long humorous jokes

1, diaosi man prayed to God every day to change his destiny. He sincerely felt that God finally gave him three wishes.

Diaosi male way:

My first wish: I want a golden mountain!

My second wish: I want the most beautiful woman in the world to be my wife.

The third wish: I want to practice the best magic in the world!

God gladly fulfilled his wish?

Diaosi man cried? Not happy, but mulberry heart!

? Damn it, I don't want Fahai to live in this mountain, okay?

? This is Jinshan! ?

? Damn it, I'm not a shemale, okay?

? This is the best beauty in the world! You said nothing about beauty. ?

? Damn it, I want magic, not a palace, okay

? This is the best sunflower collection in the world! ?

2. Once upon a time, there was a lazy and fat pig, so the owner liked it very much, so he gave him delicious food many times. The other pigs were very unhappy, so they conspired to slander it, saying that it had robbed other pigs of their food. The owner was very angry when he learned that it was spoiled, so he wanted to kill it and asked what its last words were.

It said, either I did it or I didn't do it. Kill if you want.

So I hung up. Later, when the owner learned the truth, he regretted it and had to give it a nice name: pig self-cleaning, to commemorate it.

After arriving in the underworld, the judge also learned that it had died in vain and sentenced it to be a prince in the next life. It should enjoy prosperity, but it needs to go through some hardships. So he entered the homes of ordinary people.

One day, when he went hunting, he was shot in the ass by someone in the palace, and suddenly he fainted in pain. Speaking of the wound, his anus cracked. Later, when the world knew about it, they all laughed and called it pig anal fissure. Let's talk about the person who shot it first and send it back to the palace for treatment immediately.

After that, it adapted to the life in the palace and fell in love with the swallow. But in the process of getting along, the swallow found that it was a' prince' living among the people, so he told the emperor about this situation and verified it. Because the swallow found the prince, she was named princess who returned the pig.

After being a prince again, in order to cope with the intrigue in the palace, just a few princes planned rebellion, and with their wisdom, they arrested them all, and then established a new dynasty, calling themselves Pig Yuanzhang.

How many years have passed, and this pig's previous life is full of legends. Now, in this world, he is watching jokes and laughing secretly.

The outline is a senior leftover man who works as a handyman in the hospital.

The outline was sent to a department with something in its hand yesterday. At the revolving door, a beautiful nurse smiled at him. Handsome boy, open the door for me! ?

Hearing the outline, I was out of my mind with excitement.

He thought, is this girl interested in herself? With this in mind, the outline quickly rubbed his body against the revolving door.

Seeing the nurse go straight through the door, the outline took a few steps to catch up and said with a smile: Beauty, are you too weak to open the door?

The nurse bared her teeth and smiled. It's not that I'm weak, but that I think that door is too dirty! ?

4. Female: Husband, there is a cheeky contest, and I signed you up.

Man: What? I'm not cheeky.

Woman: Nothing. You will get fatter after practice.

M: How to practice?

Female: thick-skinned, both inside and outside. I have prepared two exercises for you.

M: What are the two ways?

Woman: When a guest comes, he scolds you in front of you and tramples on your self-esteem. You listen with a smile. This is the cheek to practice connotation.

M: How to practice the outer thick skin?

Woman: I've been slapping you all the time when I'm idle. When your face can withstand hundreds of blows, it won't change color. Even if you are cheeky, you will be trained.

During the Chinese New Year, all the people who work outside have gone home. I asked my neighbor what he was doing in the city. Neighbor brother said he opened a shop. I envy you for opening a shop in the city. It's beautiful to be a boss, but it's hard to open a shop, isn't it?

Neighbor eldest brother said: the scenery is far away, and there is nothing hard, just staying in the store at night and opening the store door in the morning is nothing! ?

? Oh! Open a shop? Watch the store, right?

6. A woman in the mall shouted? Niu Niu, Niu Niu? ! ? A waiter came running: Aunt, have you lost your child?

The woman said:? Help me find my dog, its name is Niuniu! ?

A few days later, another woman shouted at the mall. Mao Mao, Mao Mao? ! ?

The waiter rushed over: Aunt, pets are not allowed in the mall! ?

The woman said anxiously, have you seen my son?

7. Qingming three-day holiday, arrangement?

First day back to primary school to pay homage? There buried our childhood;

Going back to middle school to pay homage the next day? There buried our youth;

Going back to the university in the third grade to pay homage? Where our ideals are buried;

Go back to the unit to pay homage on the fourth day? We've been buried here for half our lives. .......

8. Ways to make money

School teacher: I want to turn the three-foot platform into a cashier.

President of the University: I want to transform the ivory tower into a pyramid.

Swimming coach: I want to turn the swimming pool into a pool of funds.

Water officer: I want to regard the water system as the Milky Way.

Director of Forestry: I want to prune green trees into cash cows.