Jokes that satirize Chinese football

Searched online. .

1: A: I heard that your brother plays in the national team?

B: Your brother is the only one who plays in the national team! Your whole family plays in the national team. ..

2: A: Cheating in CS will kill the whole family

B: Cheating, my whole family plays in the national team...

3: A: Recently A KB movie just came out in Europe and the United States. It was so shocking that many girls cried. I was so brave that I almost fainted.

B: Trash has the ability to watch the national team play...

4: A: I heard that the grandson of uncle 2 next door went crazy last night?

B: Yes, let’s go watch the national team play together...

5: A: Old man, we have been married for 70 years, why do you want to divorce me today?

B: Who told your cousin’s wife’s classmate’s friend’s neighbor to watch the national team play...

6: A: FBI? These KB elements are all recruited

B: What’s going on? A: They accidentally watched the Chinese national team play last night...

7: A: This person has committed a heinous crime and killed countless people. He should be sent to the eighteenth level of hell

B: No, let him watch the national team play football as a punishment...

8: A: The constipation during this period was caused by the national football team.

B: I told you to poop cleanly before watching the national football team. It’s best to watch the national football team while watching ML! ...

9: A: My back is sore during this period. My legs hurt and cramped. My wife even complained about it.

Already: ~~Oh, it’s all the national football team’s fault. I don’t cum for 90 minutes...

10: In the past, I had to go to the toilet more than a dozen times a night. Ever since I watched the national football match, holy shit, my disease has completely healed!

11: A: I have been unlucky to buy whichever one I bought recently.

B: You deserve it, just watch the national football match. A: Fortunately, I only watched half of it, otherwise~~~~~~~~, the consequences would be serious. ...

12: A: I heard that you were fired from your work?

B: Yes

A: Why?

B: Because I watched the national team play...

13: Brother, you have done so many good things in your life, why are you still in hell? Fuck, I accidentally glanced at the national football match! ...

14: A: I heard that your dad is the head coach of the national men’s football team?

B: Your dad is the head coach of the national team!...

15: A: I want to break up with you

B: Why? I am so good to you. A: Watching the national team playing football every day makes me stop menstruating. I still I want a baby~...

16: There is no minimum in Chinese men’s football, only lower; there is nothing that cannot be lost, only things that are unexpected.

17: Great news: The Chinese team successfully avoided all the strong teams and reached the semi-finals of the group, and will triumph in advance.

18: The current situation of the national football team: age is basically fictitious, appearance is basically ugly, brain is basically rusty, offense basically relies on walking, passing basically relies on looking, stopping the ball basically relies on hands, passing people basically relies on roaring, defense basically relies on Huh, there are basically no shots, the goalkeeper basically has no hands, and there is basically no worry about losing

19: Run your own way, go back to your own home, and let others play football.

Let the failure come more violently

20: A: Zhu Shuai is out of class?

B: Going to coach Brazil!

A: Will the Brazilians invite him?

B: It was invited by the Argentinians!

21: There is a problem with the tactical arrangement! ! If we tie, we can qualify. Why not put 11 people in front of the goal?

22: Why should Dong Fangzhuo be played as a winger? If you can play as a winger if you run fast, why not arrange Liu Xiang to play as a winger?

23: Cherish life and stay away from the national football team

24: Smoking is harmful to health, watching the national football team is harmful to life

25: Watching the Premier League costs money and watching the national football team is life-threatening

26: The correct use of digital TV can effectively prevent the national football team

27: The national football team is not sick but it is really fatal to play

28: The Chinese coach asked God: When will the Chinese team qualify? ah.

God looked at the coach and said solemnly: I just want to see this session.

The coach exclaimed: Why don’t you make fun of me.

God roared: You were the one who took advantage of me first.

29: The Chinese team won the World Cup, give a song title:

A. "A Thousand Years of Waiting"

31: China, South Korea, and Japan Football coach goes to meet God

Japanese coach: When will the Japanese team become the world champion?

God: 50 years

The Japanese coach sat on the ground and cried: I will never see you again in this life!

South Korean coach: When will the Korean team become the world champion?

God: 100 years

The Korean coach sat on the ground and cried: I can’t even see my son!

Coach of the Chinese team; what about our Chinese team?

God sat on the ground and cried: I can’t see him in this life!

32: Nothing was normal in China in 2008...only Chinese football was the most normal!

33: If Chinese football performed normally, it would lead to a loss. If it performed normally and exceeded its normal performance, it would lead to a loss.

miserable.

34: A criminal was sentenced to death

When the execution was carried out, the criminal burst into tears

I was framed, they forced me to watch the national football team

I was wronged! (Lie on the ground and cry loudly),

It’s okay if I die, but I won’t die with my eyes closed

My son knows that I watch the national football team, how will he behave in the future

Son! Dad, I'm sorry for you! ~~~~~~~~~ (bleeding to death from the seven orifices)

35: I know the tragedy of Shakespeare is terrible! But those who have watched the national football matches will know what tragedy is! That actor played it for you! Crying is a release! Now I feel like crying without tears! Those Chinese football players should win Oscars~ The director is of course Adu! Compile evidence? How about Xie Yalong?

36: First line: How sad is Chinese football?

Second line: It’s like a group of eunuchs going to a brothel

Hengbian: No one knows how to shoot

37: From the day the Family Planning Commission was established, the national football team has played an indispensable role in its hands.

B. "Absolute Infatuation"

C. "A Thousand Years Later"

D. "Myth"

E. Beijing welcomes you"

F. "A Chic Walk"

G. "I'm not worthy"

Correct answer: Zhang Chenyue's "Fart"

30: Gradually, Chinese football gives us happiness in a way that is different from football in other countries!

38: You see how awesome the Olympic team is in the Olympics. Don’t talk about the national football team like that. You have to be kind. Anyway, they also broke out at home with one more player thanks to Manchester United superstar Dong Fangzhuo’s historic goal. A cold draw with New Zealand, ranked 112th in the world, is still okay.