A large collection of humorous jokes in language art

1

There is a man who looks like an onion, crying as he walks.

2

Two people fell into a trap.

What are the names of the dead and the living?

Answer: Call for help.

three

What are cloth and paper afraid of?

Cloth is afraid of 10 thousand, paper is afraid of one thousand

four

A fat man jumped from a tall building. It turned out to be a fat man.

five

Teacher: How to reduce white pollution?

Classmate: Make the lunch box blue.

six

One day, a male deer ran faster and faster, and turned into a high-speed male deer.

seven

Miss: Business is bad now.

Boss: Why?

Miss: Bird flu.

eight

Which is the worst, tiger skin, elephant skin and lion skin?

Answer: Like leather. Because of the eraser (poor).

nine

What animal has a head and feet?

A: Three monsters with one head and one foot.

10

Cotton candy: I am so tired. I think I'm getting soft.

1 1

One day, the little yellow duck was hit by a car while crossing the road.

Shout "gung"

From then on it became a cucumber.

12

Xiao Ming: Kang, the shark ate mung beans. What has it become?

Kang: I don't know.

Xiaoming: Silly. Mung bean paste (mung bean shark)

13

The elephant asked the camel, why do your breasts grow on your back?

Camel: Stay away. I don't talk to things with dicks on their faces.

The elephant looked at the snake and said, that's better than the one with the face on the penis.

14

How to make drinks bigger?

Read the great compassion mantra

2. A short joke

1

Two dung beetles discuss the lottery.

A said: If I win the lottery, I will buy all the toilets within 50 miles of Fiona Fang and eat enough every day.

B said: you are too vulgar! If I win the lottery, I will pack a living person and eat fresh food every day.

2

One day, a mother-in-law took a bus.

Sitting halfway, my mother-in-law doesn't know the way.

My mother-in-law spanked the driver with a stick and said, where is this?

Driver: This is my ass.

three

Once upon a time, a man fished and caught a squid.

Squid begged him: let me go, don't bake me to eat.

The man said, well, let me ask you a few questions.

Squid is very happy, and says: You test, you test.

Then the man roasted the squid.

four

What is that man doing?

He's shaking.

Why is he shaking?

He's cold.

A: Oh, shivering doesn't lead to cold drawing.

five

A sausage is kept in the refrigerator.

I felt very cold, and then I looked at the other one next to me.

Say: look at you, you are frozen like this. You are covered with ice.

The root of the tree said, sorry, I'm a popsicle.

six

There are two sausages in the refrigerator. It's been a long time.

I shook my sausage. Wow! It's very cold.

Another sausage said in surprise, huh? You are a sausage. How can you talk?

seven

Xiaoming cut his hair and went to school the next day. The students saw his new hairstyle.

Xiao Ming, your head looks like a kite.

Xiao Ming felt very wronged and ran outside to cry. He cried and cried and then flew away.

eight

One day, Xiaomei and her boyfriend went out for a ride.

The car is running out of gas. Go and refuel.

Suddenly a gust of wind blew away her boyfriend's hat.

Xiaomei's boyfriend said to her, I'll get my hat, and you help me refuel.

As soon as her boyfriend ran away, she heard Xiaomei shouting behind her: Come on! Oil; Fuel filling; Make greater efforts

nine

One day, a girl went to tell her fortune.

The fortune teller saw that she had a tattoo, so he said that your boyfriend's name was Liang Xiao, right?

I saw that girl say with angry eyes: This is hate.

10

An orangutan walked through the Woods and accidentally collected gibbon feces.

The kind orangutan cleaned up the ape's feces.

Soon they fell in love, and people asked how you came together.

The orangutan replied: it's ape dung (fate)

1 1

MM got lost looking for a university.

Meet a gentle professor.

Excuse me, how can I get to xx University?

Professor: You can only study hard.

12

Polar bears play with penguins.

Penguins have plucked all their hair. After plucking,

Say to the polar bear: it's so cold

Polar bear, listen. He also pulled out all his hair.

Turned to the penguin and said, it's really cold.

13

The ants went to the desert. Why didn't they leave footprints, only one line?

Because it rides a bike.

The ant came home from the desert. He didn't inform anyone, but his family knew he was back. Why?

I saw his bike parked downstairs.

14

In the music class, the teacher played a Beethoven tune.

Xiaoming asked Xiaohua: Do you know music?

Xiaohua: Yes.

Xiaoming: Do you know what the teacher is playing?

Xiaohua: Piano