Give me some funny jokes. I want to coax a girl, so I will say it. That girl is not enough. Brothers and sisters give me some super funny jokes. Thank you.

Today, I received a short message from a swindler asking me to remit money to an account of China Agricultural Bank. Half an hour later, I replied conveniently: 5000 yuan has been deposited, please check it. Later, I received a reply: "Everyone went to the bank.

Three times, I haven't received your money, you liar! "

After seeing the Three Kingdoms, the tiger went to catch wild boar. He saw that there were no pigs in the pigsty, so he touched his beard and said, Empty city plan! Looking back, there was a dead pig in the animal trap, which startled me: danger! Suddenly see you again, exultation: Oh, and honey trap!

There is a penguin, doing nothing, plucking and playing. He said, it's cold.

There is a polar bear. He has nothing to do. He pulled out his hair for fun. He said that the penguin was right. ...

On the cliff, a little mouse waved its short front paws and jumped down again and again to learn to fly. The mother bat next to her looked at it and said anxiously, Dad, don't tell it, it's not ours!

A sleeping party in a boy's dormitory lasted until 3 am, and suddenly I wanted to discuss a question, "What should I say first when I meet a beautiful girl?" A gentleman woke up from a dream and said, "Stop talking and let's go to bed!" " "

Robber: "Tell me the password of the safe! Don't say kill you! " Female employee: "Don't tell me if you kill me! I won't say anything if you spoil me! " The robber looked her up and down and said, "You should be beautiful!" "

Several people watched the sunrise, and one pointed to the treetops and said, I saw it. Others also said they saw it. At this time, someone came out from behind the tree with trousers: I saw it when I saw it. What are you yelling about? !

Snakes, ants, spiders and centipedes play mahjong at home. After eight laps, the cigarette was finished. Let's discuss who to buy cigarettes for. The snake said, I have no feet. I'm not going. Let the ants go. The ant said: A spider has eight feet, more than mine. Let the spider go. The spider said: I can't beat the centipede with more feet. Release the centipede. The centipede was helpless, thinking: No way, who let me have more feet? So the centipede went out to buy cigarettes ... for more than an hour, the centipede didn't come back. Two hours later, the centipede didn't come back to buy cigarettes. So everyone let the spider go out and have a look. As soon as the spider went out, he saw the centipede sitting at the door. The spider was very angry and asked, why don't you go? Everyone is waiting. The centipede was also anxious and said, nonsense! You have to wait for me to put on my shoes! !

One day you stood on the bus platform and laughed, causing passers-by to treat you as a rare animal. One of them asked you why you giggled. You fought back your laughter and said proudly, I fooled the ticket buyer and didn't get on the bus.

The ant and the elephant got married, and the couple fell in love very much.

Elephants eat a lot. In order to fill the elephant's stomach, ants go out early and come back late every day to find food, which is very hard.

After returning home, the ant couldn't help but sigh: "I'm so tired, my back hurts!" " "

Elephant, I'm very sorry. He raised his leg and gently said to the ant, "Wife, let me help you step on your back!" " "

The centipede was bitten by a snake, so it must be amputated to prevent the spread of virus liquid! The centipede thought: fortunately, I have many legs ~! ! Doctor comfort: relax, brother, you will be an earthworm in the future ~

Fish said: I keep opening my eyes just to keep you in my eyes forever ~

Water said: I keep flowing, just to hug you forever ~ ~

The pot said: It's almost fucking ripe, and you are still so poor! !

The fish said again:

Do you sell rat poison drops ~ ~ ~

I killed myself too! ! ! ~~

No one can eat, grandpa! ! ! ~~~

I'm worse than a chicken ~ ~! ! !

I can't even drink soup! ! ! ! ! ~ The pot is still ~ ~ ~

One day I saw a shocking car on the street, which read: expulsion from driving school, self-study, renting a car, buying a license plate, no insurance, and unclear brake throttle.

The chef asked kindly, "How do you want to eat?" Don't be afraid, let a hundred flowers blossom and speak freely. "pig:" actually ... I don't want to be eaten. Chef: "Look, that's not the point, is it? "pig: ...

A bee bites on the calendar = windy (bee) sunny (calendar). 2, the mobile phone can't fall into the toilet = it's now or never (wet), 3, Xiaoming and Xiaohua go to the seaside to tell jokes, and then they die. Why = Because of the tsunami (laughs)?

One day, Xiaoming took tomatoes, watermelons and strawberries to the streets. At the crossroads, tomatoes were run over by a car. Xiao Ming said, "Ha ha ha! Ketchup! " At another intersection, the watermelon was hit. Xiao Ming said, "Ha ha ha! Watermelon juice! " At the third intersection, Xiao Ming was run over by a car. Strawberry said, "Ha ha ha! Scum! "

A little ant and an elephant made an appointment to go swimming. The elephant took off his clothes and began to swim happily. The ant rummaged for clothes on the shore and shouted to the elephant in the water: elephant, elephant! ! Come up here for a second! ! The elephant went ashore and asked, how? The ant said: nothing, nothing. Let me see if you are wearing my swimming trunks. .

The hen laid a duck egg. Rooster: "isn't that too exaggerated?" No wonder you bought several swimsuits two days ago! " The hen laid an egg. Rooster: "mine? God? ! Haven't I already tied the knot? " The hen laid a black preserved egg. Rooster: "dizzy! Who did this? Which African is it? " The hen laid an ostrich egg. Rooster: "No wonder you always bury your head in the sand?"