What we get is luck, but what we lose is life.

Lu Yao wrote in "Ordinary World": "How many beautiful things have disappeared and been destroyed, and the world seems to have never happened. Yes, life goes on. However, everyone in life is constantly losing their most precious things. "

We have experienced many people, either happy or sad, and then remember or forget those good or bad moments.

One afternoon, we sat under the grape trellis in the yard, enjoying the cool and reminiscing about the past. The advantage of memory is that it can travel through time, break the space, and then revisit the old place and reproduce the old scene. That afternoon was not much different from the previous afternoon. Sunlight through the grape trellis, like through the narrow door of time, takes us back to the past, as if we had a big dream.

Just like the scene in Inception, "Everyone is dreaming. You know it's a dream and I know it's a dream. In my dream, I know that I am a guest, but I don't want home, because it often makes you cry more sadly and laugh more happily than the real world. "

We invented some scenes to prove that we had lived, and we cooked up some festivals to express our affection. We tell some lies in our lives and then tell some facts in our dreams. We wander in reality, and then write poetic and distant stories.

Really, really, it's not true at all. Fake, fake is not fake at all.

When I was five years old, I went to preschool and had many holidays. I watched TV in my bedroom and had a good time alone. My dad suddenly came in from the outside and asked, what's wrong with you recently? Always so disobedient, and then kick me. At this time, my mother didn't come in. Fortunately, I run fast. I hid alone between the bed and the wall, crying there, because I felt wronged to be scolded and beaten. My dad is out, and I don't know what happened yet. I'm next to the bed in the corner. Come to think of it, nothing has happened recently. I just keep visiting relatives and don't want to go. Adults always take me by force, but they don't eat when they go, and they look unhappy. There seems to be nothing but this. Anyway, where to visit relatives in the future, even if I don't want to, I will pretend to promise, and I will be very happy when I meet someone.

Memories before the age of five are really lacking. Apart from getting some jokes from adults, there are still some caches left in my mind, which seems to be nothing else.

Grandpa said that at that time, you had to wean yourself. After your mother sent you here, she sneaked away. Then you found out, and you kept crying. Sleep when you are tired of crying, and continue to cry when you wake up. I cried for several days, and then you sat on the millstone in our yard and looked at the intersection every day and said you wanted to go home. I guess I thought I was sold. After all, I couldn't remember the way home. I still remember the way home, but the mountains are high and the waters are long, and I can't go back.

The only photo was taken when I was 100 days old. Sitting on a big stool, with a chubby face, a bag of biscuits in his hand and a lot of meat on his legs. At that time, there were no smart phones, so you could take selfies at will. There are only some anniversaries. When I go to the photo studio, I will take some photos, mostly in black and white. Later, with the mobile phone, the color photos were very clear, but they were never taken again, mainly because they were thin and the retouching technology was not very good.

When I was eight years old, I was in the third grade of primary school. Before I arrived at the school gate, the bell rang. X, several other children and I discussed it outside the door for a while, and decided not to go in for fear of being punished for being late. But all the other children are in class, so we can't just go home or hang out. There are two toilets outside the school gate. X said, why don't you hide in the ladies' room? I said, why not hide in the men's room? Some people say that the men's room is outside and people often come in and out. Finally, everyone hid in the ladies' room all morning, but fortunately no one went to the toilet at that time. After school at noon, the students all went out, and we mixed among them and went home together. Later, I was always worried that the teacher would find our parents and ask us why we skipped class. Fortunately, it is not.

About nine years old, in the summer vacation, one night, my family went out for a meeting and came back very late. I didn't want to stay at home alone, mainly because I was afraid, so I told my mother to visit my neighbor's house. S is about my age, and her parents just went out. So, it is conceivable that a lonely man and several women are in the same room. Unfortunately, we haven't developed yet. Holding toys, piling them on the bed, playing and falling asleep, it's simply. Then someone knocked at the door and shouted. When S and I woke up, we hurried to open the door. S mother said, what? Sleep? I said, yes. Then I went back with my mother. When I got home, I was scared to death. Because why did you sleep with s just now? Isn't there often some pictures on TV, that is, men and women are sleeping, and at dawn, the woman will say that she has a baby. Oh, my God, I won't be a little father. What should I do? I am going to tell my parents, but I am afraid. Later, I didn't dare to go to S's house for a long time, and I haven't seen her again for a long time. Occasionally, when I meet her, I will avoid her and secretly see if her stomach is very big.

When I was twelve years old, I was promoted from primary school to junior high school. That was my first graduation. Some students transferred to private middle schools in the city. My best friend L, who usually goes to the toilet for dinner after class, is one of the transferred students. He went to the city, but I stayed in the town. Our country has a 12 birthday. When I celebrated my birthday, I saw many strange faces. My mother told me which is my uncle and which is my uncle ... that was the first time I knew there were so many relatives I had never seen before, and then I never saw them again. My father took the wine, and I took the cup and toasted one by one. There are pork and beef in the room, as well as all kinds of vegetables. Outside the room, the scene is lively and life is full of excitement. I am the protagonist of this grand event. I looked at the unfamiliar and familiar faces at the party and felt for the first time that I had finally grown up.

I was pregnant with hundreds of dollars in the first grade, and I was very worried. I'm afraid of being stolen and robbed until I pay my tuition alone. When we entered the classroom, most of them were unfamiliar faces, and everyone was excited and whispering. Children who have just entered adolescence are passionate and simple. I asked a classmate at the door how to arrange the seats. He said, sit anywhere and adjust later. Seeing that the classroom was almost full, I went in and saw a vacancy in the second row. I asked the girl next to me, W, is anyone sitting here? W said, no, I asked, can I sit here? W said, yes. We introduced ourselves to each other, so we seldom talk again. She talked and laughed with the classmates around her, and occasionally I secretly laughed with her. On the third day, the school was re-divided into classes and re-adjusted classes. After everyone moved the books and cleaned them up, the class officially started. Since then, every time I meet W on the road, I will smile as if I were a stranger. I don't know when I started. I hope to meet her more on the road, but I never said a word again.

When I was a freshman, I went to a high school in the city as I wished. My father sent me to school, helped me with some business procedures and left. I entered the classroom alone, and no one I knew found an empty seat at the last position near the wall. From then on, I started my high school life. Although I work hard every day, my grades have been poor. I am often called to the office by the math teacher to share some math ideas with me and let me sum up. Before freshman year, one of my deskmates smiled and estimated that you could not get 100 in the math test. At that time, the perfect score in mathematics was 150. I laugh, fuck you, I guess you can't even get half of the exam. Of course, this is just a joke. Although math is not very good at ordinary times, it is still possible to do well in the exam and get 120. If it is badly done, it is not a problem to get 100. On the day when the results came out, I never expected that I got 74 points in math.

At that time, in our class, the math test was very difficult and generally not good. As long as the math test is good, the basic total score is good. I cursed others when I went to your uncle's school, but I failed half of the exam. I can't wait to jump to the Miluo River to find Qu Yuan and talk to his old man about how Li Sao expresses his thoughts and feelings, because I always encounter such reading questions in Chinese exams and never get it right. It's a pity that I'm in Hubei, the road is too far, and there is no fare to Jiangxi. So, I chose liberal arts without looking back, because I chose liberal arts and ranked by the total score, so I was assigned to a good class, the so-called "key class" and "experimental class" in high school. From then on, I was different from science, and I was generous. I have been living among a group of liberal arts girls until I graduated from college, and I was caught off guard and helpless.

I met H in the college entrance examination. She was my classmate in grade five in primary school, and she was often a deskmate in junior high school. Later, although they were in the same high school, she studied science and I studied liberal arts. When I meet her, I will also have a brief talk. But in a place where every minute counts, the teacher said that even eating and going to the toilet is a waste of time, let alone chatting there. If the class teacher finds out, come to the office. Well, I feel that your grades have been unstable recently. This kind of emotional thing, when you go to college, you can say whatever you like. At present, the college entrance examination is still the mainstay. Then, when you return to the classroom, the class teacher will repeat what you just said in public. H and I are completely pure men and women. How can we say that? H finally went to Jiangxi, where I wanted to go after seeing my math scores, and I stayed in Hubei. After the college entrance examination, I haven't seen her for a long time, and I haven't asked about her. I just added her QQ.

Before the college entrance examination results came out, I worked as a car washer in a car service company. Go to work at 7 am and get off work at 6 pm every day. Of course, my working hours are very flexible, such as washing those cars on weekdays. It's raining, what should I do? No one must have come, so we just sat there and watched the traffic on the road. It will be a tragedy when it clears up. Car washers have been waiting in line since 6: 30 in the morning, and we don't even have time to eat at noon. Wet the car body with a water gun all day, then spray some special foam for car washing, scrub it with a rag bit by bit, rinse it with a water gun constantly, and finally dry it with a clean rag. It looks so simple. If you hold a water gun, you will find that it is not too heavy. When you turn on the water gun to wash all day, and your clothes are wet and dry, you will start cursing your mother, because you deeply find that physics and strength in junior high school are mutual. I don't even bother to move my arm when I sleep at night.

There was another buddy who washed the car with me at that time. He is a college student. I asked, how did you find this job? He said that it happened that the school was on holiday, and I passed by the city and saw the recruitment. When his girlfriend came that day, he took a noon leave with his wife's boss, went out for a meal and hurried back. After washing for more than a month, the results of the college entrance examination finally came out. I took a little more than 1000 and went back to fill in my volunteer. I forgot where I spent my first salary. I seem to have gone to Beijing. Later, writing two manuscripts can get a month's salary, only to find that physical labor and mental labor are not the same. I added that buddy's QQ, but I never contacted him again.

When I was a freshman, I went to the Foreign Languages Institute, where there was a legendary beauty class with only one boy. There were six or seven boys in our class at that time, but the legend was just a legend. After the first listening class, my ears didn't get pregnant, because after one class, most of them didn't understand, but the buddy sitting next to me said that they could basically understand. My mouth is knotted and I speak Chinese with a strong local flavor. The buddy next to him speaks fluent English with British pronunciation. His voice is so beautiful that it is said that he charmed many girls in our college. Of course, the main reason is that he is too handsome, but he transferred to another school in his sophomore year. Later, my roommates were very cruel to me for speaking English, saying that I would call the police if I spoke English in the dormitory again. Jokes are jokes. I know my English very well. The more I dare not speak English, the worse I speak it. The less you understand English, the less you want to listen. The feeling of inferiority corresponds to disgust and escape, so I skipped many classes and went to the library later.

Some people think they like reading, while others think they have nothing to do. I think the computer on the fifth floor of the library is really terrible. I was tired of watching on the second floor, so I ran to the fifth floor and got off the plane. I don't know what to brush. Before that, I watched anti-Japanese dramas, martial arts dramas and occasionally some idol dramas. The three views have not yet formed, and the world has changed. Out of curiosity, I brushed several films that ruined three views, such as Lover, I spit on your grave, Original Sin and so on. Every time I haven't finished watching them, my computer may restart. I think it's the scale of the movie? After all, in the library, if the librarian sees it, he won't be fired. So apart from looking up information, I seldom brush movies. I'm relieved to find out if the computer should crash, but I seldom go up to the fifth floor and dive into the world of books. Now I always feel that it is essentially an escape. When I found myself out of place in this world, even my efforts were of no help. I tried to escape to Plato's utopia and establish my own "Utopia".

When I was a sophomore, I wrote a long love letter to a girl F and wrapped it in an envelope. This is another sad story of "ten strokes without response" At that time, after the meeting every night, I took the initiative to send F back to the dormitory for a month or two. After a long time, I may not be interested, but I will be tempted. Looking at so many couples on the university campus, why can't I be one of them? Frankly, although it will appear black. After repeated harassment, one afternoon, F was finally invited to the school's tea shop. That afternoon, like the first afternoon, was not much different. The sun is shining behind, and the campus remains calm. As Mr. Lu Xun said, "Time is always passing, and the market is still peaceful." I talked to her a lot and gave her many reasons. I kept saying that she couldn't stand it. She said, you know what? Don't tell this to other girls in the future, they don't like to hear it. I gave her a cup prepared in advance. Some people say it represents a tragedy, others say it represents a lifetime. I don't know what that means, but I only know that from then on, I began to write a long story, and the original protagonist of the story was F.

I was very busy at that time. I minored in a double degree at Wu Da University. Since my sophomore year, I haven't spent weekends, either reading stories or having a double degree. The whole person is immersed in a kind of busyness, full and empty, busy and boring. There is a course of double degree that is to do questionnaires. At that time, our group made a survey on the "Cherry Blossom Festival of Wuhan University", and we must find some tourists to fill in the questionnaire on the campus of Wuhan University at the weekend. It rained heavily that day, so we walked halfway and said we would do it later. But everyone is busy on weekdays. Although I don't know what I'm busy with, I can't spare the time anyway. Now that you are here, let's finish it. It rained so hard that we almost got wet with an umbrella. A few days later, I wandered around QQ space and saw a photo of H filling out a questionnaire. Let me have a closer look. Isn't this something special that we designed at that time? I left a message for H and asked, How did you get this photo? H said that we went to Wuhan University that day, and then I braved the heavy rain to help fill out a questionnaire. I told her about the situation, and she said, really, how did this happen? I asked her for her mobile phone number. From that day on, I will call her once or twice a month until I graduate from college. It has nothing to do with romance and affection, but I changed the heroine of the story to H.

When I was a junior, I went to the canteen to eat. On the way, I met a black girl, Sheila. She smiled at me and I said hello to her. Then I talked with her for a long time in broken English. I can't understand a lot of what she said, and I can't understand a lot of what I said. This is the first time for me to chat with foreigners other than foreign teachers. It's not as difficult as I thought, but it's not easy. She said credit several times, and I did recognize the word, but I just didn't understand it. Later, when I went back to Oxford, I realized that it actually meant "credit". At this moment, I regret not asking her for her mobile phone number. About 10 days later, I met Sheila near the canteen again. what can I say? I just asked for my mobile phone number. There is no transnational love story here, but I started my English learning journey.

After talking to her several times, I went back to listen to ABC, BBC, CNN and other broadcasts every day for a year or two. Because international students are such a big circle, they usually organize some activities together. As long as you mention anyone, you basically know them. I went on to say, I know, she is my friend, and then I asked the other person's name. One to two, I met many international students. Every evening, I go downstairs to find international students if I have nothing to do. There is a flower bed there. Many foreign students often sit there and chat, sometimes about bin Laden, sometimes about America, and sometimes about Africa. I deeply feel that world culture can be so colorful. I can also speak fluent English. Although I have a China accent, communication is no longer a problem.

During the Spring Festival that year, when I went back to my hometown for the New Year, I saw X, who was holding a child who could make soy sauce. I was going to say hello and saw a white car parked next to her. I hesitated for a while and didn't go. Just saying hello, wow, your children are so old? We also skipped classes and hid in the ladies' room, thanks to your idea. Really? Don't you remember? It slipped my mind. hahaha. Laughter and laughter floated in the streets of the town, and old things were buried in the ancient city walls as if nothing had happened.

In the third year of high school, graduation was like shivering. Everyone is a soldier, everyone is a soldier, everyone is eager to move, and everyone is nervous. Some people fled before entering the battlefield, some people entered the battlefield but became deserters, some people won the whole battle but lost themselves, and some people won themselves but lost her/him.

At that time, there were dreams, no literature classes, no girls and no girlfriends. The bottles collided in the middle of the night and wandered back and forth on the playground of the campus for a long time.

Some people in the class went to Beijing Foreign Studies University for simultaneous interpretation, some went to Edinburgh, England for further study, some went to university journalism, some were admitted to civil servants, some failed in the postgraduate entrance examination, and the rest were job seekers. After running for a month or two in Wuhan, where talents are everywhere, I finally found an unsatisfactory job. Then, our dormitory swept the bottom four of the class, and I graduated from the bottom four. No drunkenness, no drunkenness, no photos, I was elated. On graduation day, as usual, the sun shines on the earth and the campus is still calm.

During the Spring Festival this year, I visited my cousin's house, and he was elected secretary of the village committee for the second time. People come and go at ordinary times, and the passenger flow is constant, especially during Spring Festival travel rush. When preparing for dinner, the former neighbor S came with a young man. Only then did I know that S's aunt was my third aunt. In the banquet hall, I sat next to the young man, only after I introduced him did I know that he was S's husband. S aside, as if embarrassed, has not been seated, taking care of the children outside. Halfway through the meal, everyone filled their cups. My husband s and I laughed together. Come on, brother, what's your name? Have a drink together. He loves to laugh and can't drink well. I took a long drink, and the wine was really spicy, from my throat to my heart. He had to take a large glass of wine with him. It was windy when I left that day. I glanced at the child held by S. It was really nice. I finally let go of my worries more than ten years ago.

I just joined the work, and when I was twenty-three or four years old, I especially cherished my days in China because I was going abroad to go to Africa. My former friend L left me a message on QQ, asking, what are my old classmates doing now? I feel horrible. I was in junior high school in the city that year, when we were only 12 years old. For eleven years, we went to school together, ate together at noon, and even went to the toilet during recess. I told him about my job. I asked, I'm getting married next month. Will you come? I said, I will definitely go when I have time. I said, well, then contact me. A few days later, I saw L send some photos to space. Let me take a closer look. Wow, a perfect match. The woman put on her wedding dress and almost became a goddess. Who the hell is this? I took a break at noon, turned over some photos and saw the following message. Someone asked, how did you get together? Someone asked, isn't this W? I looked at it carefully. What w? Is it my first deskmate in senior one? Eighteen changes in women's universities? Is it really W? WTF！ After a while, I sent a message to L saying, I'm sorry, I'm going abroad next month. I wish you a happy wedding in advance! I said, well, come and play sometime.

I went to Africa for a while, where the sunshine was too warm, the environment was too bad, and the people there were too unrestrained. The values established in my university are very scattered. Because of disagreement with the boss, dissatisfaction with the boss and discomfort, I returned to China soon.

Before I leave, I intend to write a letter to H every day. As a result, I only wrote the first and last letter, and then I went back to China. At that time, I was going to send this article to H, but H sent me a message in advance. I was a little surprised. H said, I heard that you have returned to China. I said, yeah. H said, I'm getting married at the end of the year. Will you come? I will go back. What? I cann't believe you can get married H scolded me, and I replied with a series of expressions. hahaha. Of course I didn't go to the wedding that day. I happened to see an article on the Internet that day, "Childhood friends are not friends", with the signature: I am a passerby. I forwarded it, and H liked it that day.

At the age of twenty-five, some articles began to circulate, including the article "I am a passer-by". The author's name really fits the occasion. The mountains and rivers are picturesque, you are full of poetry, everyone reads aloud, and I am just a passerby. In the dead of night, I like to sit alone in the park, holding a wine bottle and staring blankly while drinking, like a tramp in this city.

Later, the girl M left a long message at the bottom of the article, saying that she felt the same way after reading it. I said, thank you, this is my mobile phone number.

One day, I was sitting alone in the park. This time I didn't drink. Look at the sky, the sky looks at me. I dialed M's cell phone number, and I said, do you want to consider being my girlfriend? M did not hesitate and agreed, but is online dating reliable? I laugh, the reliability of online dating lies in its unreliability. On the day of putting on the wedding dress, M looked like a princess, and no one in the world was more beautiful than her.

Later, M asked where to put the wedding photos. I said, it's on the bed. M said, who is the child with cookies next to him? I laugh, I, 100 day commemorative photo. M laughed: At that time, you were really fat. I laughed. It was a fleshy one, named Meng.

Twenty-five years old, starting from the age of five, for twenty years, occasionally I didn't want to go out to visit relatives and friends, but I went anyway. I met many strangers, praised and scolded by others. No matter how wronged I am, I have never cried again. My father never hit me again, and we hardly even meet each other. Busy as a bee, occasionally traveling with m.

Someone asked, what is your biggest feeling in these 20 years?

I said, what we got was luck, but what we lost was life.