Work joke _

1. One is fat, the other is thin, and the other is sister paper. Fat sister paper looked at the enchanting figure of thin sister paper with bitterness and said: How can it be favored by boys?

Thin sister paper said; You should learn to praise others, so that you will leave a good impression on men.

At this time, the bus came and the thin sister paper came first. Fat sister paper took a look at the driver at the moment she got on the bus. Lenovo just said what Thin Sister Paper said, so I blurted out: Brother Driver, you are so handsome.

The driver answers in seconds; You have no money, do you, girl?

2. Personnel work has been done for a long time, and a couplet has been summarized. The boss requires employees to be obedient, capable and low in requirements. Employees' requirements for the boss: good people, light work and high salary. I added a horizontal criticism: beautiful thinking.

When they saw the dismantling of ZHA bomb on TV, they struggled for a long time to dismantle the red line or the green line. They thought: Why didn't he turn all the lines into red lines? I told you to tear it down! I told you to break a ball!

4. Eating crayfish, a child next to him asked his father, "Will crayfish be in a hurry if they can't go home?" His father suddenly froze. The boss came to the rescue and said, "No, their whole family is here."

5. What's the mood of a grandfather who studies Chinese medicine? Once he caught a cold and came home with a look of something wrong: come on, grandpa will take your pulse and then count your wrists. Look at me straight: grandson, be temperate, you are still a child.

6. I am glad that I graduated from college. No one will drag you to chat in the middle of the night until the early hours of the morning, and you can have a good sleep. No one will drag you to Summoner's Canyon, and no one will take a bite to eat instant noodles. No one will call to deliver the meal, not anymore. . . . . . . Eldest brother, second child, third child, fourth child, fourth child ~ you should be very happy! Hmm? Right?

7. In the third grade of primary school that year, my deskmate and I played truant and were punished by the teacher. Make a hullabaloo about, slap each other in the face, cross each other ten times. I left myself room for the first slap and gave him a gentle slap. Now he hits me, and the teacher says whoever hits me lightly will be punished. My deskmate slapped me hard, but I can still hold on. In the second round, it was my turn, damn it, I slapped with all my strength, and the other person's nose and mouth were bleeding. The teacher has been scolding me. ...

8. I went out drinking with some buddies last night and didn't break up until twelve o'clock. My buddy called in the morning: What's the matter? My sister-in-law didn't tidy up you when I went back so late last night, did she? I replied: What are you talking about? How dare she punish me! ? She dare not open the door!

9. Recently, there is a popular paragraph in the circle of friends: the real marriage is like this. Sometimes, you love him very much, and sometimes you really want to film him. Many times, you met his favorite food on the way to buy a gun, but forgot to buy a gun after buying the food. Then a few days later, I thought, no, I have to buy a gun. ......

10. In junior high school, Eason Chan was my idol. At that time, every textbook was full of the name "Eason Chan". Once my father turned over my textbooks, and then he said to me with tears in his eyes: Son, if it is a book related to study, my father will buy it for you, so you don't have to go to Eason Chan to borrow every one. . .