100000 cold joke gang tasks

100,000 economic jokes, great god jokes!

It is better to use economists instead of mice to do experiments.

The National Institutes of Health (NIH) announced that in the future, economists will take the place of mice to do experiments, which caused a national uproar and was considered unfair to economists.

But NIH listed four reasons, and the opposition soon disappeared.

1. Researchers like mice and can't bear to see them become innocent' experiments'.

2. Economists breed faster.

The local society against cruelty to animals does not object to this.

Economists are willing to do experiments that mice are unwilling to do.

Consulting fees of economists

A well-known economist opened a consulting company, so someone came here to inquire about its fees.

The customer asked:? How much is your economist's consulting fee?

The economist replied:? Each question costs $ 1000. Now we can ask the second question. ?

There are many theories but few practices.

An economics professor at Barclays University in California died and went to heaven, waiting at the end of the long queue to enter heaven through a worse door.

St Peter looked outside the office and saw the economist at the end of the line, so he ran out and invited him into the office to have a rest.

The economist was flattered and asked why.

St Peter explained:? I'm just showing my respect for the elderly. Judging from the consultation schedule you gave your clients, you are at least 193 years old. ?

The difference between mathematics and economics

What's the difference between mathematics and economics?

Mathematics is difficult to understand; Economics is confusing.

One-armed economist

The late US President Truman said that he would entrust a one-armed economist as a consultant.

Why? One-armed economist

Because economists always say: on the one hand, on the other hand. ?

He was bored to death by them.

What is an economist?

People who lack personality and can't be accountants can become economists.

Economists are experts who know why yesterday's prediction didn't come true today.

Economists often have too much theory and too little practice. They know at least 100 ways of making love, but they don't have a female friend.

It depends.

The son of an economist and the son of a mathematician are classmates. One day, the teacher asked this question: If a person digs a canal with a shovel in 10 day, how many days does it take for a person to dig the same canal with a shovel in 10 day?

The teacher asked the mathematician's son and the answer was ten days.

The teacher asked the economist's son, and the answer was? Depends? (As the case may be).

Blind world, save energy.

Father, psychologist and economist play golf together.

The couple ahead of them played very slowly.

When we reached the eighth hole, the trio got impatient and made a loud noise on purpose? Complaints? I hope the group can play slowly, understand the elegance of string songs and speed up the game.

The priest said:? Holy Mary, I pray that they learn more basic kung fu before entering the arena. ?

The psychologist said:? I'm sure some people like to take their time. ?

Economists say:? I didn't expect it to take so long to finish a hole. ?

On the ninth hole, the trio had enough.

The psychologist stepped forward and asked the caddies of the duo to make way because they:? Hinder our progress? .

The caddy said no problem. Then explain why they play so slowly. It turned out that they were former firefighters who were burned in a fire fighting operation and lost their sight! Both the priest and the psychiatrist have regrets, and each said something sorry for his identity.

The economist thought for a moment and said to the caddy. This problem is not difficult to solve. Just ask them to play at night in the future, because blind world can save energy. ?

Law of economics

The first law of economics is that every economist has a colleague with opposite views.

The second law of economics is that both economists are wrong.

It doesn't matter, but it is controversial.

The judge needed a jury to try a drunk driving case, but unfortunately, no qualified person was present, so he had to invite several people to the court to do it. Expert witness? Economists serve as jurors.

The trial lasted about ten minutes, and the facts were very obvious. The defendant drunk driving and committed a crime.

However, the jurors discussed for three hours and still failed to reach a consensus; The judge was impatient and sent a bailiff to rush it.

After a while, the bailiff reported to the master:? Jurors have their own opinions and are still arguing about who should be the chairman of the jury! ?

The reputation of an economist

(1) A famous critic said: The Royal Swedish Academy should no longer award the Nobel Prize in Economics. ?

(2) A politician said privately: The happiest time in my life was before I met an economist. ?

3 Robert? Solo (professor at MIT and author of divine retribution) thinks:? The public's respect for American economists reached the lowest point after the war. ?

(4) President R? Reagan angered his economic adviser: a person who specializes in negative remarks. ?

(5) A big entrepreneur publicly criticized that the wrong economic forecast is often more harmful than no forecast! ?

The economist's method

Because the real world is complex and diverse, economic models must make all kinds of simplifications and assumptions. However, economists are often criticized for making unrealistic assumptions, which makes their models meaningless. The following joke illustrates this point.

Three people drifted to a desert island. One of them is a chemist, the other is an engineer and the third is an economist. There is no food on the island, and their situation is desperate.

Later, they found a box of cans washed ashore. However, they realized that there was no way to open these cans, so they decided to give full play to everyone's professional expertise and find a solution to the problem together.

Chemists look around for various minerals, heat them, produce a compound, and open the can lid by corrosion.

Engineers look for some stones around, and then calculate the height of a tree. After the stones fall from the tree, they can open cans.

Economists, on the other hand, sat still and lost in thought. If only I had a screwdriver to open cans.

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