The jokes that make people laugh until their stomachaches should be especially funny, otherwise they will not be adopted.

1. Idle egg hurts at night, send an event message to a lesbian. I wrote: Are you busy? I have opened a room, waiting for you! She replied: Don't be ridiculous. I said, really,

They say you are good at it, and I want to try the truth. She replied: Where are you? I'll go back: Happy Landlord, Room 1 12 of Netcom, Table 22, come quickly. She replied: Get out ...

…

Several students got up late on the day of the exam. They lied that they missed the exam because of a flat tire on the bus. The professor agreed to make-up exams and arrange them in different examination rooms. These documents are just

There is a question: "Which wheel has a flat tire?"

3. Husband: How many blessings have I received in my last life to find such a good wife! Wife: You didn't fix it, I did! Husband: .....

4. The teacher said, "Daxiong, the teacher gave you 90 yuan, and then you borrowed 10 yuan from Pang Hu. How much money do you have?" Nobita said, "0 yuan." The teacher said, "You

I don't know math at all! "Male said," you don't know Pang Hu! ! "

Grandpa KFC said to Uncle McDonald: The most romantic thing I can think of is to always appear within 300 meters of you, silently watching you, and then put

Your own chicken wings are one yuan more expensive than yours. This is love!

6。 A boy said to a girl, "Do you want me to chase you?" The girl blushed and said shyly, "Bah ~ ~ OK ..." The boy said happily, "Then run.

! "

7. 127 users found that after watching Conan, a famous detective for more than ten years, today they noticed that the Japanese pronunciation of "I am Kudou Shinichi" turned out to be O Leiwa.

Drum washing machine ~ ~ ~

8. "Tao is extraordinary. What you pursue, care about and persist in your heart is your Tao. Some people are infatuated for a lifetime, and it is infatuation that is cultivated; someone

Filial piety is filial piety; Some people are addicted to killing, and it is the way to kill. Lao Tzu turned to a teenager and asked him, "What do you pursue, teenager?" "admitted to a.

Ben. ""that's a book! " Lao Tzu said kindly.

9. A secret was discovered. The United States hired a large number of people to flatter China so that it could never compete with it, and deliberately kept China backward and politicized it.

The system has not been a country ruled by law, democratic and free for a long time, with unclear economic property rights and extravagant culture. An ironclad proof is that these are called five.

Mao's people have a headquarters in America called the Pentagon.

10. Reading comics in self-study at night has become a fashion. One day, when I was studying physics in the evening, the teacher suddenly rushed to the MM in the back row of me while drooling on the stage.

The cartoons in the MM physics book were confiscated, and the whole class of children's shoes were shocked, exclaiming that the teacher had become a perspective eye. But the teacher said on the spot, "I want to read all the physics books."

Cry, you laugh while watching! 」

1 1. There is a very tall coconut tree. There are four kinds of animals, orangutans, apes, monkeys and king kong. Who do you think will pick bananas first? Test you

A man of that character. The answer is: 1, monkey, which is the most typical 250; 2. Orangutans have low intelligence and few tendons; 3. Ape is the predecessor of Alzheimer's Harmo's disease; 4. King Kong

, is a fool whose head is caught in the door. Have you ever seen a coconut tree grow bananas?

12. A netizen posted that a buddy was very serious. He once ate noodles in the canteen, and when he ate an unknown black object, he told the canteen master and was scolded.

So this buddy silently buys a bowl of noodles every day, eats it quickly, and then spits it out in public ... After three days, the noodles in the canteen are completely unsold.

It was the fourth day, and the canteen master knelt down and begged him to stop …

13. A couple went to Century Park by subway. After leaving the station, they argued about which entrance was near. Boyfriend insists on 1 exit, girlfriend insists on 2 exit.

As a result, my boyfriend had no choice but to turn to the staff at the information desk. Aunt took a look at the boy and only said, to go to Century Park, you should take the entrance 1.

If you want a girlfriend, go to Gate 2.

14. Look at the hairstyle, look at the nose in the middle, look at the face with bangs, look at the temperament with oblique bangs, look at the facial features without bangs … and I … am suitable for masking!

15. A beautiful woman saw an ultra-low-cut evening dress in Chanel and tried it on immediately. After coming out, she asked the shopkeeper and boss if this dress was too low-cut. Boss:

Excuse me, miss, do you have chest hair? The beauty said angrily, what are you talking about? Why do people have chest hair? Boss: That's really too low.

16. In the history class, the teacher asked my deskmate, "Who is the king of the Taiping Heavenly Kingdom?" I'm at a loss at my deskmate. I whispered below: "Shi Dakai!

Shi Dakai, ... "He looked puzzled and said weakly," Is it ... 18? " The whole class laughed, and the teacher glanced at him and said, "It's 24 ..."

17. Yesterday, my colleague bought a BMW X6, which made other colleagues envious. Beautiful appearance, fine workmanship and full horsepower, but there is one disadvantage, that is, the battery is not given.

force ...

18. A buddy invited me to drink, and everyone drank too much. He insisted on taking me home by taxi. In the car, I have been holding the pull ring on the co-pilot door and walked to the scene.

When I was in the city, I said to the driver, Master, slow down. Too soon. I feel terrible. The driver replied helplessly: traffic jam, brother!

19. While eating, my son suddenly left the table and ran to the mirror, pointing at his teeth and nagging angrily. I asked him why, and my son said funny:

"My tongue was bitten by my teeth. I am criticizing it! "

20. I just went to the library and climbed up in the dark corridor. By the side light, I saw a white boy walking beside me. I deliberately went to the middle to block his way, he said

Sorry, classmate. I didn't move and continued to block his way. He paused and said that his senior had lent it to me. I was unhappy and thought, am I so old? So I went back.

Turn your head and tell him with a strange smile, can you see me? He froze for a few seconds, then jumped up and ran away. ...