Why is a long-distance relationship so painful?

First, the embarrassment of "nothing happened"

There used to be a famous cross talk joke "throwing boots", which is familiar to everyone. Although it is a joke, it reflects from another side and angle that a person will accept the reality, will be happy with it, and is most uncomfortable and tortured when the expectation of waiting and expectation cannot be realized and implemented.

This phenomenon is the best way to describe the state of long-distance love. Take being single as an example. Everyone is well aware of their current situation. It is self-evident and logical that those couples who are in the same place can treat themselves clearly.

Long-distance relationships are not like this. I clearly have an object, but I always have an object name. I live a single life, with expectations, ideas and references in my heart, but I can't realize them, just like waiting for "boots" that haven't landed yet. For example, watching other couples come and go together in pairs, and I should be like this, but why am I alone? I can also meet other lovers snuggling together and showing great sweetness and love, but the fact is that I can't have it, and I'm embarrassed to see others "sprinkle dog food" in person.

I can have such fun when I see other lovers, happy and romantic, but I have no idea. I can't be alone. What should I do? On holidays, birthdays and anniversaries, there are always people around, gathering, giving gifts and paying great attention. I also have people who can do it, and I also have these things, but I can only see a monotonous, slightly dull, deformed face, boring and so on through short messages or phone calls that I can't recognize the tone.

Every time I see these scenes, there will be thousands of injuries in my heart, mercilessly stabbing the lonely heart of long-distance love and bearing many painful impacts. Some people say that being single is not sad. On the contrary, the saddest thing is that long-distance lovers live a single dog life in the name of having a partner. This is no exaggeration.

Second, the pain of "helplessness"

There was a saying on the Internet that described the sadness of long-distance love, and that was "Don't cry, I can't hold you." This statement makes people cry, but also describes and depicts the situation of long-distance love. For ordinary lovers, as long as they have leisure and free time, they stick together. Their joys, sorrows, joys and sorrows are all clear, and they know their hunger like the back of their hands. In short, one party's needs will be met by the other party.

However, long-distance love is out of reach, and each other's needs are beyond their power. For example, when you feel lonely, you want to be accompanied by your lover, which is not a thing for ordinary lovers at all, but it is always a helpless hope for long-distance love; When you are happy, the average couple will share with each other, which will double your happiness. However, even if you are overjoyed in a long-distance relationship, the other person has no feeling at all, and can only describe it on the computer and mobile phone, and can't see the other person's expression. Even if it is a video, there is no face-to-face feeling in front of you.

When your life or work is not smooth, you are full of grievances and sadness. Whether you are depressed or in tears, if the average lover will stay by your side, maybe just give you a paper towel, wipe your tears or pat you on the shoulder. Maybe it just hugs you, hugs you, and can clear away the clouds, making you feel comfortable, warm as spring and relieved. What about long-distance relationships? Only when you tell the other person that you are sad, it is just boring, pale, repetitive and ineffective comfort on the computer and mobile phone. Some people may even say, "I am typing in tears, but you still think I am laughing."

When you are unwell, ill, or even sick in bed and need someone to take care of you, if you are an ordinary couple, you will always stay by your side, running around, seeking medical advice, sending water and meals, and not having sex, but what about long-distance love? Either the other person doesn't know that you are uncomfortable at all, or even mistakenly thinks that you are absent-minded. Even if you tell the other person that you are ill, you will always get the old saying "Ah, well, then you should pay more attention to rest and drink more water!" " "Take care of yourself", there is no other way, and so on. As long as lovers share things together, they will always be helpless, and care, warmth and care are even more helpless. This kind of regret, lack and helplessness will always be accompanied by people who are in long-distance love.

Third, the entanglement of "troubles"

In many cases, distance will not only affect the intimacy between people, but also reduce and weaken the trust between people. Ordinary lovers get along with each other day and night, bow their heads and see each other, know each other, and have a close and harmonious relationship in frequent exchanges. However, long-distance love is separated from each other, and each other's words and deeds and every move are unknown and mastered. Most of the time, they are alone, far from the sense of practicality and security when couples are together. The thought of unbearable loneliness and the temptation of the outside world makes them daydream, suspect and worry about their feelings at all times.