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Zhengtai entered the hospital,

Zhengtai said innocently: Mommy, what are we doing here?

Mama: Give it an injection~

Shoot: Why do you need an injection? Did the injection do something wrong? Doesn't the needle hurt?

Five minutes later, Shota started to roar: This is a needle hitting me~ This is a needle hitting me...

A little kid was eating grilled sausages and playing around on the roadside. I accidentally dropped the sausage on the floor. Passers-by comforted him and said: Give your intestines a bath quickly!

My daughter, who is in elementary school, gave me ten questions in a test and she answered them all wrong. How shameful! One of the questions is, which three animals are tallest when stacked together? I said: elephant, giraffe, Yao Ming. My daughter said people don’t count. I said that together with the boa constrictor, these three species can stand very tall. The standard answer turned out to be: pig, she-wolf, wasp. Together they are a pig, a wolf, a wasp - Mount Everest!

I had a dream in the morning. In the dream, several friends and I were kidnapped. When everyone was thinking about how to escape, the alarm clock rang. I got up and was about to get dressed when I suddenly thought that if I ran away, would the remaining buddies be killed? Brothers are like siblings, so I couldn't leave them alone, so I lay down and went to sleep...

Taotieke netizen's status: I have spent a lot of money these days, and I accidentally spent all my living expenses. , but there were still more than 20 days before the end of the month, and I was ready to please my dad for some living expenses. I woke up in the morning and cooked noodles for my family for breakfast. My dad looked at me warily with chopsticks and asked, how much does a bowl of this noodles cost?

One of my friends’ online name is “Because my balls hurt,” and when he went offline, the system prompted me: Your friend has gone offline because his balls hurt.

It’s summer, and the situation on campus is basically as follows: girls dress like nightclubs, and boys dress like migrant workers. . . In a school with a lot of girls, visiting the school in the summer is like going to a brothel. In a school with a lot of men, going to the school in the summer is like going to a men's bathhouse!

I went to get my headphones repaired today. After the customer service MM helped me pick out my ears, I felt that the sound quality was much better~

While taking the bus, there was a young mother with two little girls. As soon as they got in the car, the two little lolita kept talking in the balabala, which was very cute. One of them said: "If I had magic, I would turn my parents into monsters." Just as I was wondering why this little girl looked so cute, I heard the little loli say next: "Then I will catch Tang Monk and feed them to eat." I won’t grow old.

“Mom, I’ll lend you 2,000 silver taels temporarily. "What's the use?" "Kill." " "What? ! who! ? "Your grandson!" "

My mother taught her daughter: "Choosing a husband is a lifelong event, so you need to be careful. Look at your dad, he can fix everything: he fixes cars, electrical appliances, and faucets by himself. Even if the wardrobe is broken, he can fix it by himself..." My daughter interrupted: "I understand. "I understand, sister, if you find a husband like your father, you will never be able to use anything new in your life." . . "

"Brother, please do me a favor. The elder brother was pulled into the room by his younger sister in confusion. The younger sister blushed and said, "Brother, please give this love letter to your deskmate for me." "When we arrived at school the next morning, my brother gave the pink letter to his deskmate. During class, his hand was grabbed under the desk. My brother looked at his deskmate in shock, and his deskmate blushed and whispered: " I like you too. "

A group of engineering men were discussing graduation travel, so they talked about Phoenix in western Hunan and Shen Congwen and his "Border Town". At this time, a certain guy said with a confused look: "Nani, Shen Congwen can also C language? "Let me go...

I was bored during class and asked questions. Who is the Immortal of Poetry? Answer: Li Bai. Who is the Saint of Poetry? Answer: Du Fu. Where is the Ghost of Poetry? Answer: Li He. That poem Where is the king? Everyone was silent... A passerby blurted out: Simba!

If a girl is suddenly very enthusiastic about you, then congratulations... She must have a problem with her computer or write I encounter difficulties in my paper, or I need you to revise my resume... In short, you are a good person~~

A netizen wrote on Taotieke: Whenever I caught a cold when I was a child, my mother would rush for me. A cup of coffee. She said softly: "Foreigners are all like this. "But I am always afraid of the taste of coffee, which is sour, sweet and bitter, and the same is true in life.

Nowadays, I can’t see the brand I drank when I was a kid on both sides of the Taiwan Strait, on the island, or in Starbucks. I still vaguely remember that it has a very foreign name: Isatis root!

Xiao Ming was dumped by his girlfriend and was heartbroken. My friend comforted me and said: Forget it, forget her, it’s no big deal! Xiao Ming cried: I can't forget it. I bought a lot of things for her, all of which were paid in installments. WTF...

There is a rich and handsome man in our company. His family has a farm and ranch with a regular high income. He has a Scottish sheepdog to look after the farm. He also hired a witch to look after the ranch. He has 10 Ferrari sports cars, plus Several slaves. He is also worth a lot, owns his own restaurant, a supermarket, and has a high income. However, since his QQ was stolen, he has nothing...

Zhan Zhao told Ma Han his heroic story: "That day I visited Xiaoyao Tower and obtained important information, but I accidentally fell into the trap. , I was seriously injured. I took a deep breath and supported myself to Kaifeng Mansion. Suddenly, my eyes went dark. "Ma Han asked with concern: "Are you fainting?" Zhan Zhao: "No, it's Master Bao who came out."

Try to explain the difference between "law" and "law" in the word law? A female student answered: Of course it is different. If I tell my mother that my boyfriend is a "lawyer", she will be very happy; if I If she says her boyfriend is a "mage", she will beat me to death!