Common problems in psychological counseling

Frequently asked questions in psychological counseling

Psychological counseling is conducive to restoring psychological balance, improving adaptability to the environment and improving physical and mental health. So what are the common questions about psychological counseling?

Question 1: How to cure your sadness quickly?

A: When we are sad, our first reaction is to get rid of the bad mood. It's like being sick and wanting to take medicine right away. But there is no cure for sadness in this world, because sadness is not a disease at all. This is the best answer to this question.

Frustrated, lovelorn, relatives and friends died, but we will be sad when life passes away. If you lose it, you will cry. This is a normal emotional reaction, just like being laughed at by a joke. No one can stop it. Those who cry smoothly and those who are normal and sad will recover slowly with time. Often those who forbid themselves from being sad and want to stop being sad quickly are prone to get sick. In other words, it hurts when you are sad, which is a sign of mental health. On the contrary, not hurting yourself and not giving yourself time to be sad are the source of all diseases.

We all know that you don't need to take medicine for the common cold. Getting through it will increase immunity and improve physical fitness. Normal sadness, such as a cold, will naturally get better, but forced intervention will reduce your psychological endurance. So, if you are sad, it's no big deal. Just hurt yourself thoroughly and heartily. Time is the best healing agent, don't force yourself to pretend to be innocent at once. You know, people's hearts are bound to get hurt, and only sadness can make people grow. There is a lyric in "Beautiful Mood": Only when you are disappointed and shed tears all night, do you understand that this is also a kind of luck.

Question 2: Why do I always feel insecure?

A: It is estimated that no one in this world will always feel safe. This is because we always have some worries about the unknown, afraid that we can't control it. We are always afraid that a strange fruit will be poisonous before eating it; In fact, if you really take a bite, you may find it quite sweet. So, if you feel insecure, don't make a fuss. This is normal, so are passerby A and passerby B, but please note that the more you dare not bite this fruit, the more insecure you are when you still hold it. There are two best ways, one is to take a bite and the other is to throw it away without looking back. Contradiction is the root of anxiety. Don't make yourself so embarrassed is the best way to ensure a sense of security.

Question 3: How can we forget unhappiness?

A: To answer this question, we can use reverse thinking to think about why we should remember unhappiness. There is a word in psychology called unfinished events, which means that things that once made people unhappy will be recorded and left there to wait for their future self to complete. For example, you lose your beloved dog, make a fool of yourself in public, break up with your friends and your lover. A few years later, you have two lively dogs, become an orator, make new friends and find the most suitable person to get married.

You silently completed those things that were previously recorded as unhappy and re-marked as happy. You see, unhappiness is not something that can only be forgotten. The reason why it doesn't want to leave you is to remind you where happiness lies. Unhappiness is some self-test we recorded, and we will solve it when we are mature. When you are 25 years old, you can solve some unhappiness left by 16 years old. We can proudly tell ourselves that I have really grown up! So, don't forget if you are unhappy, just leave it alone, and it will be fixed sooner or later.

Question 4: Is my personality good?

A: There is no good or bad personality. Both introversion and extroversion can be good personalities. As long as you know your own personality, foster strengths and avoid weaknesses, give full play to your own advantages, and what kind of personality will be welcomed by others, you will have a chance to become a good personality. For each of us, the only thing that determines our character is whether we know ourselves and accept ourselves. If you know more about yourself, you can know how to show the beautiful part of your personality and hide and modify the sharp part of your personality appropriately. Accepting yourself means comparing yourself less with others and trying not to link the success or failure of things with personality. Personality determines success or failure only as a slogan, not life. The truth of life is to accept yourself and decide success or failure. As long as you can appreciate yourself, you will know how to give yourself a chance to succeed. Similarly, you will know how to make your personality one centimeter beautiful every day.

Question 5: How do I know if the other person loves me or not?

Answer: Love is an emotion, so there is no measure. It is impossible to judge love by what you do. Love is not eternal. Maybe this person didn't love you yesterday, but it is also possible that he loves you today. So people in love, even if you know whether the other person loves you or not, what can you do? You just need to know whether you want to establish a lasting love relationship with this person. Whether two people can be together is not love, but needs: mutual appreciation, self-esteem, material needs, caring needs and responsibility needs. Of all the people the other person knows, you can best meet his needs, and he will naturally choose you.

But please note that some needs are met not by your efforts, but by the matching of personality. For example, some people just like to take care of others, and you happen to be used to being taken care of, then you are a couple. Don't dwell on the false question of love or not. Love can be created. As long as you can understand each other's needs, don't be too hard on yourself. Sincerity is not guessing, but feeling with your own heart. Only with sincerity and no doubt can we feel each other's sincerity.

Question 6: I have done so much for him, why can't I get something in return?

A: When we were young, we all accepted the unpaid contributions of our parents. Their demands were very clear, that is, as long as you love them, parents will be willing to pay. Therefore, we always think that the formula of giving in exchange for love is valid, but in other interpersonal relationships, this equation does not hold. For example, if you make a product that tells me I love you and the other person doesn't want to buy it, he can even pick it up and play with it, and then put it down. This is his right, and no one has the right to force others to buy their own things. I love you. I love you too. Willing to give is not directly related to having to accept. You give because you want to. If you don't consider whether the other party is willing to accept it before giving it, it is also selfish, and the other party certainly has the right to choose not to accept it. We all know that accepting others' efforts but not being able to repay them will make us feel guilty, so refusing is a very considerate choice. Many things in this world are rewarded as much as they pay. For example, practicing every day can make things perfect. But only interpersonal relationships can't be exchanged with wishful thinking. Only by not counting this account can we love happily.

Question 7: Why do I have no friends and no one understands me?

A: The friendship between every two people is different. Friendship is not a model defined in a TV series or a book. It is long and dull, but it is also short and profound. Sometimes the definition of friendship will trap us, so that we can't feel true friends, such as he wants to understand me, forgive my shortcomings, be loyal to me and want friends. He couldn't think so much, just smiled and held out a hand. Only by eliminating the definition of friends and giving others the opportunity to contact themselves can we open our hearts. One more thing, we need to realize that in our life, we will have many friends with different types and personalities, and each friend can provide us with different things. We can't ask for a perfect friend. We need to fully realize our interpersonal needs and social support among many friends. There is a saying that no one can grow up with you. On the way, you will meet many people. Everyone will accompany you for a period of time, some long, some short, some late. Everyone knows a little about you, but they don't know you completely. This is inevitable and normal. When you try to talk to more people, you will have more chances to be understood by more people.

Question 8: There is a lot of pressure. What about insomnia?

A: To some extent, pressure is the driving force for growth. Working during the day, some pressure can improve work efficiency. But we should also give ourselves a timetable for stress. Just like our biological clock, stress needs a stress clock. You can release it at work in the morning and stop releasing it at night. When our study work changes or there is an emergency, the pressure becomes greater, and it takes some time for the pressure clock to adapt before it can run again. So it is normal to suffer from insomnia occasionally, and we can help upgrade the stress clock in some ways. First, wake up the stress when you are energetic in the morning. For example, after getting up every day, make a timetable and arrange something that can cope with stress. For example, the English exam is coming and the pressure is great. You can plan to recite 50 words in the morning. If the pressure of unit assessment is high, then plan to do more work and sprint. Then at dusk, when the pressure is less, do something to relieve the pressure, such as eating delicious food, exercising, singing and watching movies. Don't wait until bedtime. In this way, when you fall asleep, your stress and energy are released. When you make some efforts to cope with stress during the day, you will not be so anxious and naturally fall asleep easily. If this week continues, you can naturally form a new stress clock and regain the ability to sleep for three seconds.

Question 9: Does poor performance in psychological test mean that I have mental illness?

A: A single psychological test result can't judge a person's mental health, just as a person's physical health can't be measured by weight. In particular, the psychological tests that automatically calculate the results on the Internet are mostly inaccurate. The psychological test of investigating mental health needs professional psychological investigators from authoritative institutions to conduct the test. A more accurate psychological test, first of all, has a large number of questions, generally above 100, and after sampling test, the reliability and validity are up to standard, and there is a relatively new norm. And there are professionals to explain your test results. And even if the psychological test results come out like this, it only provides a reference data for people's mental health. The diagnosis of mental illness also needs other indicators such as behavioral observation, physiological response and emotional response. According to China's mental health regulations, only the psychological outpatient department of the hospital can make this diagnosis. Neither the counselor nor the counselor has this right.

Question 10: Can studying psychology cure your heart disease?

A: Studying psychology can't solve your own problems, just as doctors can't treat themselves. Studying psychology can only help you understand yourself and some laws of people's psychological activities. Our psychological problems all appear in life, so they can only be solved in interpersonal communication in life. In the final analysis, many of our psychological problems are caused by our contact with others, and we need to find the right way through our interaction with others, such as consultation, intimacy and social relations. It is impossible to have a concrete life verification by learning and reflection alone. All psychological professionals, when facing their psychological problems face to face, also want to find a psychological counselor for treatment. Therefore, psychological problems need to be solved through professional psychological counseling. So studying psychology can prevent some problems from happening, but it can't solve your own problems.

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