What original jokes and jokes do you have?

They are all my original paragraphs, let's see if we can meet the needs of the subject.

1. One of my bookworm brothers was hit by a car, so I went to the hospital to visit him.

He was badly beaten, especially in the leg, and he couldn't walk upright for half a year.

I asked him how he was hit, and he sighed, pointing to a book beside the hospital bed and said, it's all because of it!

This book looks relatively new, with the words "Tao Te Ching" written on the cover.

"Oh, I see. You were reading while walking, and you were accidentally hit by a car, right? " I mused.

My brother groaned weakly and said, "No, my own orders hit me!" " "

I was surprised and asked, "Is this impossible? What the hell is going on? "

My brother said helplessly, "It's true! Don't you know that I like reading? Do you still like reading aloud? "

I replied, "Yes! But what does this have to do with you being hit by a car? "

The brother went on to say, "This is a big deal! That day, I bought a new book "Tao Te Ching" from the bookstore, walked to a park parking lot, saw a bench next to it, and sat down to read this new book! I didn't expect a sentence in this book to be miserable, and it is like this! "

I asked, "No way? ! I know this Tao Te Ching is a classic, right? There seems to be nothing wrong with the words inside, right? "

The elder brother said, "You have to see where this sentence is used. If the timing is wrong, it will lead to tragedy. "

I said, "Don't play the suspense! What the hell is going on? "

The elder brother said, "Hey! I opened the book and saw three words in the first sentence of the first chapter, which was very interesting. So I couldn't help reading it aloud several times. I stared at the book, wondering what this sentence meant. As a result, a car fell right in front of me and fell on me. "

I said, "In broad daylight, didn't the driver see anyone reading?"

My brother replied, "I have my own reasons!" " Without my command, people wouldn't make such mistakes. If you don't understand, why don't you read the sentences in the book yourself? "

I picked up the book and turned to the first chapter. In the first sentence, I saw three words: "Tao can be Tao."

I looked at my brother a little puzzled. He is looking at me with encouraging eyes and saying, "Read it aloud, read it several times!" " "

So I murmured "Tao, Tao! Knife, Ke Dao! Tao, Tao ... "

I suddenly realized, "pour! You can pour it! Pour! You can pour it! Pour! Can pour ... "

(Author: water clouds and streams)

2、

On King Tiger's birthday, he carefully prepared a big table of food and invited all the animals to the birthday party. King Tiger accidentally fell down, and the nearest kitten was timid and gave a cry of fear.

As soon as King Tiger got up, his foot slipped again and he threw himself forward. His face just fell into the birthday cake, and his face was covered with cream. The kitten let out another cry in fright.

King Tiger tried to stand up and scratch with his paws. Because his face was covered with cream, he didn't see it clearly and grabbed the tablecloth. It grabbed so hard that a big table of food was dragged to the ground with a bang. The kitten let out another cry in fright.

King Tiger still can't get up. When the kitten saw it, she kindly walked over and helped it up.

King Tiger stood up, smeared cream on his face, and saw that it was a kitten. Without saying anything, he swung his fist and gave the kitten a good beating.

It said: "I accidentally fell, you said" Miao ",I can bear it! I dropped the cake, and you said "Miao", but I still endured it! The whole table I prepared carefully was ruined by TNND, and you even said "wonderful"! There is really no way this time! " (Author: water clouds and streams)

3、

Students in university dormitories play truth or dare. I was unlucky and lost, so I chose "Dare". My roommates told me to declare my secret love at once.

I have a crush on a talented woman. How can I express my love to impress her?

Suddenly, I had a brainwave, immediately took out my mobile phone, found four pictures from the Internet and sent them to her.

The first picture is a lion made of mud, the second is a big white goose, the third is two elephants, and the fourth is a galloping horse.

My roommates looked at me puzzled. I said I wouldn't explain now, but they would understand later.

As I expected, the talented woman really understood the meaning of these four pictures. After a while, she actually replied to my message.

Unexpectedly, she actually returned two pictures: one is a round mirror, and the other is a straight telephone pole by the roadside.

After receiving the picture, I was a little confused at first. After careful consideration, I suddenly realized and laughed.

My roommates are even more puzzled, but when they see my smile, they all know that this is probably a play.

Wit, they immediately asked me to invite you to dinner at once. I agreed happily.

At the dinner table, they asked what these pictures meant. I said: the mud lion is "mud lion", and the homonym is "you are"; "Goose" is very similar to "I" in some dialects, which means "I" here; Two elephants are a pair of elephants, namely "things"; "Ma" and "Ma" are similar in pronunciation, which means "Ma" here. The four pictures together are "mud lion goose object horse" (are you my object? )。 The two pictures she replied, one is a round mirror, isn't the shape of a circle like a 0? One is a straight telephone pole. Isn't it shaped like 1 0 means none, 1 means yes. From 0 to 1, it is from scratch. It means not at first, but later.

My roommates all praised me for my talent. Congratulations.

After dinner, I couldn't restrain my excitement and quickly sent a message to greet the talented woman.

Me: Hello, goddess. I didn't expect you to agree to be my girlfriend.

Talented woman: What? What did I promise you? I understand the meaning of the picture you sent, but don't you understand the meaning of my picture?

Me: I understand. Doesn't that mean from 0 to 1, starting from zero? .....

Talented woman: What are you talking about? ! My first painting is a mirror. Let yourself look in the mirror.

Me: Huh? ! Is that what you mean? What does the second picture mean?

Talented woman: Oh, this is even simpler. This is a telephone pole on the road.

Me: What does this mean?

Talented woman: I think it's clever of you to send charts in white. I didn't expect you to be so ignorant. This means three words.

Me: What three words?

Talented woman: Get out of the way!

Me: Huh? !

(Author: water clouds and streams)

Send these first, originality is not easy, please encourage more. Please call me if you still need me.