Very funny phrases in life

1. Don’t let your girlfriend have a blue complexion, because if she is blue, you will become green. Don’t let your boyfriend have a red complexion, because if he is red, you will become yellow. .

2. I liked you, chased you, got over it, kissed you, quarreled, got tired of it, got tired of it, broke up, pretended not to know you anymore, scolded you behind your back, and didn’t know you at all, so that It broke me

3. In today's society, it is no longer useful to cook raw rice into cooked rice. Even if it becomes popcorn, what should run will still run.

4. One by one, isn’t it just that I haven’t finished my homework before school starts? I don't even know what homework is.

5. As a human being, you must be like Conan, with the spirit of letting people die wherever you go.

6. There are so many people who despise me, who are you?

7. I love you! What does it have to do with you?

8. No matter how awesome Chopin is, he can’t express my sadness!

9. The ringtone for the end of get out of class is more pleasant than the national anthem, and the ringtone for class is more depressing than anxiety.

10. The most charming person is Master Kong. Thousands of people follow him every day.

11. Today I received another message from 10086. He still cares about me so much, but I wish he would add "Happy April Fools' Day!" after notifying me of insufficient balance.

12. Half a year ago, for To encourage myself to lose weight, I insist on recording my weight every day, filling in the Excel form, and generating a trend chart... Today, my colleague passed by my seat, and I saw him walk over and then fall back thoughtfully, lying next to my ear. Bian asked quietly: Well... can you tell me which stock you own? The trend is pretty good

13. There is a kind of longing called looking through the autumn water, and there is a kind of cold called forgetting to wear autumn trousers.

14. In the chemistry class, the chemistry teacher asked: "What should you do if the gas leaks in your home?" Don't panic, light a cigarette and calm down.

15. I play too much on the computer and want to fast forward while watching TV.

16. Auntie is like a gray wolf. When she leaves, she always yells, "I will definitely come back!"

17. When I was a child, I wrote essays and learned to lie; when I wrote essays in college, I learned to plagiarize; when I wrote reports after work, I learned how to be pretentious; when I was in love, I wrote love letters and learned how to be pretentious; when I wrote autobiographies in old age, I learned how to be pretentious. Learned about packaging.

18. The higher the QQ online rate, the more lonely the person is.

19. The only thing I can afford but cannot put down is chopsticks. Phrases about very realistic emotions in life

1. Shame is like underwear. It doesn’t matter if you take it off when necessary. The key is who you take it off for.

2. What is worse than having others talk about you is that no one talks about you.

3. There is no happy place in the world, only happy people.

4. To be jealous of someone is to admit that he is better than you.

5. Don’t argue with fools, otherwise no one will know which one is the fool.

6. Less than half of the fatigue in life comes from survival, and more than half comes from comparison.

7. There are two types of people who are hopeless: those who disobey orders, and those who obey orders.

8. People who have laughed with you are often easy to forget, and people who have cried with you are always difficult to forget.

9. Blindness can bring courage because you do not see the danger.

10. Anything that cannot be eaten can be eaten by the trash can, and any problem that cannot be solved can be digested by time.

11. You don’t have that many viewers, so don’t be so tired.

12. Don’t lose your temper randomly, no one owes you anything.

13. It is very painful now, but when you look back after a while, you will find that it is actually nothing.

14. Cut off friendships with people who are malicious to you. Only when people break up with each other can they have close friends.

15. Learn to tolerate people who hurt you, because they are pitiful.

16. Learn to give up. If you pull too hard, you will suffer.

17. Don’t try to make excuses. No one likes to hear those excuses when faced with mistakes.

18. Being concise and brilliant when you should speak is a sign of skill, and nodding and giggling when you shouldn’t speak is wisdom.

19. Working hard and sweating when you should do something is loyalty, and insisting on showing off when you shouldn't do it is showoff.

20. Letting the world bow its head is a kind of domineering; letting oneself let go is even more courageous.

21. The biggest gratification when queuing is not that there are fewer and fewer people in front, but that there are more and more people behind.

22. If you can still be impulsive, it means you still have passion in life; if you are always impulsive, it means you still don't understand life.

23. Not everyone can live a low-key life. The foundation of being low-key is that you can be high-profile at any time.

24. Being able to speak when you should speak is a level; not speaking when you shouldn’t speak is a smart person; knowing when to speak and when not to speak is a skill.

25. When men have affairs, it is mostly due to external attraction; when women have affairs, it is mostly due to internal repulsion.

26. Women value a man’s tomorrow, and men value a woman’s today.

27. There was once an emperor and a courtier. Now there is wine and now there is drunkenness. The winner is a prince and the loser is a bandit.

28. The gutter can capsize a boat, chicken feathers can fly to the sky, and black and white can circulate.

29. Find a way out when you are happy in life, and find a way out when you are frustrated!

30. People who have no goals will always work hard for those who have goals!

31. Nostalgia is not because of how good that era was, but because you were young at that time.

32. Three stages of life: Comparing talents; Comparing financial resources; Comparing realm!

33. People will become stronger when they are strong, and weaker when they are weak.

34. Many times, the reason why I force myself to move forward is not that the scenery in front is charming, but that the reality behind me is cruel.

35. In today’s society, the one with breasts is not necessarily the mother, but the one with money must be the father.

36. For men, the upper body is cultivation and the lower body is essence; for women, the upper body is bait and the lower body is trap.

37. The so-called loyalty is just because the chips for betrayal are not enough!

38. There are always some things that allow you to see some people clearly without realizing it.

39. As the saying goes, no matter how long you have known each other, it all depends on your relationship, release and development. My friend, I only care about quality, not quantity.

40. If you have no money, no background, no ability, no friends, if you don’t work hard, don’t complain about the reality of life.

Funny talk about a very cute personality in 2021

1. For the rest of my life, please give me some regret medicine, and give me a cup of love-forgetting water

2. Cheating is not popular anymore. , it’s popular to hand in blank papers

3. He’s just a clown. He gives you a smile but can’t give me my sincerity

4. Women, please don’t be deceived by our sweet-talking men. , hereby advise

5. I will listen to the nonsense you said as a joke, which will actually make me very happy

6. Although penguins are birds, their fat bodies It hinders its flight, so do you, right?

7. Others laugh at me for being too crazy, but you can’t see my Hoda

8. You came to my dream at night Only when my dream was shattered

9. In fact, you have many benefits that you haven’t discovered yet, such as warding off evil spirits and having sex at night to prevent pregnancy

10. The weather forecast reminds you: it’s raining Lightning, be careful of being struck

11. I really want to covet your beauty, but it’s a pity that you are just a commodity

12. When I go out, I take a dog and see who bites it< /p>

13. As the saying goes, it is better to live than to die, but I prefer to sleep

14. It’s not that I don’t want to lose weight, I’m just afraid of rebounding

15. There are too many germs in the outside world, and I’m afraid I’ll be contaminated as soon as I go out

16. I’m not tuneless, I’m just tone-deaf

17. Falling in love You, I am not willing to leave easily, my warm quilt

18. I have never been hurt by others, because those who have hurt me are not human beings

19 , Those who see my jokes, I will laugh at you one day

20. We belong to the flower season, living like pigs, and our brains have degenerated

21. If I am a director, and I will let you die at the point of a gun before you see the audience

22. I am not good-looking, but I am not as good-looking as you.

23 , Spring sleep is not awakened, yawning comes to the door, unable to sleep at night, unable to wake up during the day

24. There is a kind of feeling, called not sensational; there is a kind of person, called not human

25. When the books are used, you will regret them. When the money is used, it will be insufficient.

26. If your friends are unhappy, tell them and make everyone happy

27. Things that do not belong to you, If you put it in your hands, you will only hurt yourself

28. I am a human being, I also have a temper, I can speak, and I can also be angry

29. Not all people are You can see my ladylike side, so I only pretend to be a lady in front of you

30. I can’t stand it when you scold me when you don’t understand me, and I can’t bear it when you cut me when you understand me.

31. When you can’t hold it in, I’m willing to let you out, isn’t it just a fart?

32. In this world, there are many people who look at me 2, There are very few people who accompany me 2

33. When someone says I love you, I always say: "Take your heart out and let me see if I love you"

34. One of the great tragedies in life is to sleep soundly? I was woken up by a splash of urine

35. I am looking at your illuminated profile picture on the other side, but you are so stupid on the other side that you don’t know

36. If you go to class It's a hypnotic, so surfing the Internet is a refreshing drug

37. Don't let me kick you like a ball, I'm afraid you can't stand my continuous ravage

38. Just a superfluous thing People, no one cares about my sadness

39. I heard that money is the dirtiest thing in the world, so if you don’t want it, you can throw it to me

40. It’s not that Is the bitter taste of good medicine beneficial to disease? Why has it never been effective?

41. Calling you a beast, and insulting the purity of those pigs, dogs, cattle, sheep and horses

42. If you want to be a Buddha, why don’t you worship me? Kill Jesus and I will be God.

43. Without the existence of the mistress, who would witness your shameless happiness

44. Hold my hand and close your eyes and you won’t get lost

45. This can’t be said that I am taking revenge on you, I am giving it back to you

46. I I wish you a safe journey, even if you get lost along the way

47. My friends, let me throw a brick first, and if you have any jade, feel free to throw it at it

48. When a rabbit is in a hurry, it will eat the grass beside its nest? Don’t talk about you, you beast

49. God, please give me a way out, you are almost closing me to a dead end

50. There is no grass on the lively road, be smart A collection of funny and cute sayings about people who don’t have hair on their heads in 2021

1. I’m sorry, I love you is just my modal word.

2. I have always regarded money as air, because I cannot live without it.

3. Life is the process from the little white rabbit to the big bad wolf, and then to the old fox.

4. When you made me angry, I ate the map. This is called swallowing mountains and rivers in anger.

5. I have done two wrong things in my life. One is to be born, and the other is to live.

6. If I hadn’t been able to beat you, I would have fallen out with you long ago.

7. Look, the rainbow over there is looking down on me, because I am brighter than it.

8. There are many ways to destroy friendship, and the most thorough one is to borrow money.

9. I only drink pure water and pure milk, so I am very simple.

10. Why do I often have gum in my eyes? It’s because of my deep love for sleep.

11. I am really cruel and naive, thinking about how to harm others all day long.

12. I smoke just because my heart is cold and I want to warm myself up.

13. When you go out on the street, just rub off on others and say to them: Don’t worry, there is a secret and it’s fully automatic!

14. Those who abide by the law are good citizens, but they are not necessarily good people, so citizens are not equal to people.

15. When my brother gets rich, buy two houses and give them one to demolish. Live in your own apartment. !

16. I talk ridiculously and am a bit crazy. Just call me Lei Feng.

17. I am a civilized person, and all swear words have been disinfected with saliva.

18. I have been obsessed with you for a long time, and I have become a bit narcissistic!

19. I said I love you to the sky, but the sky thundered.

20. Wear perfume when you have money, and apply toilet water when you have no money.

21. I slept until I woke up naturally, but I only had five dollars to count.

22. If I throw a glass of water on your face, it is equivalent to ruining your appearance.

23. Kindness means not complaining when I eat meat when others are hungry.

24. I thought I was decadent, but today I found out that I was already scrapped.

25. People who still hang out on QQ all day these days have nothing to do except go to work, but no one loves them after get off work.

26. Asking what love is in the world will only make people die with eyes wide open.

27. Don’t think that if you are younger than me, you can dance for a few more days. The coffin contains the dead, not the old!

28. Listening to you speak, a sense of intellectual superiority arises spontaneously.

29. Breaking up is boring, let’s play divorce if we can!

30. After staying among the nervous people for a long time, I found that I am normal.

31. I’m not a good person, so I won’t accept your good person card!

32. Looking at your dirty face, I have the urge to vomit.

33. Without a strong master, don’t think that you can bite people just because you are a dog!

34. Bricks thrown may not attract jade, but they may hit people.

35. I am young and need to be pointed out, but I don’t need to be pointed out.