Super funny and humorous sentences are very short, the kind of funny jokes that make you cry.

1. The first love is infinitely good, but it hangs early.

2. I got paid. My dad says money is tight recently. Let's go fight the landlord with your mother. Then I agreed, and then my salary won this month. .

I took a fancy to you because I was out of my mind, and now my brain is shaking dry.

4. The world is not worth it, but it is worth talking to.

I am not a casual person. I am not a casual person.

6. If you have money, you lose your family; If you have no money, worship God.

7. My future is not a dream, but a nightmare.

8. I once had a sincere love before me, and I didn't cherish it. If I could start over, I would choose Li Bai.

9. You like to talk sarcastically. Are you born with essential balm and cool oil?

10. it's good that you went, otherwise you're always worried about whether there are problems with your legs and feet and you can't walk.

1 1. I thought I was decadent, so I scrapped it!

12. Last night, a buddy got drunk and agreed while pouring his own wine.

13. I have a small mind, but I don't lack it. I have a good temper, but I don't lack it!

14. You may not know why there are advertisements in the middle of the program, because both the host and the guests have to go to the toilet.

15. Do you love me? If you love me, put on a white wedding dress and peel it off with your crazy hands.

16. I feel that I am not going to school now, but learning from me, simple and rude, without condoms!

17. Find a friend, find a boyfriend, kiss and hold hands, and have a baby at night.

18. There is no love and hate for no reason in the world, but TM is fat for no reason!

19. I bought a can of mimosa today. I'm not shy to go back. Go back and ask the boss. The boss said: Maybe you bought this pot to lose face.

20. Personality is just a little bit. Remember to leave some flowers. Spending money is shameful.

2 1. This kind of ghost story happens every day in school. I pointed to an empty seat and asked my classmate, Excuse me, is anyone there?

22. There is no love and hate for no reason in the world, but TM is fat for no reason!

23. At least the human brain will be short-circuited, and I don't even have a power supply.

24. Forgive me for dressing up, holding a fountain pen, frowning and writing hard, just to get to the bottom of Xueba.

I never like strangers asking me personal questions. Today, an unknown person asked me where I was going, and I said, it's none of your business. Then he kicked me out of the taxi.

26. My mother asked me why I didn't come out to go to the toilet for so long. I didn't dare to tell her that I was fascinated by myself when I passed the mirror.

Please don't stare at me with innocent eyes like a puppy, it will make me want to eat dog meat.

Laugh until you vomit blood. Humor, funny qq, signature book.

1, my ancestors smoked and couldn't break the fragrance.

It is because I love you that I broke the fire line next door.

3. I love you and reward you. Don't be shameless.

You say you are broad-minded, but I think you are broad-minded and brainless.

5. During the onset of chronic depression, strangers should not disturb and acquaintances should not find out.

6. How many good students have you raped at school?

7. Have a plenty of monitor, have a plenty of study committee, I am the representative of the unreasonable class.

8. I can't learn to be reserved, and I can't be a good lady, so I am destined to be a bitch.

9. Many times a fool is not stupid, but just too lazy to be smart.

10, love is a rehearsal, why is it arranged by heaven?

1 1, you just don't know what you look like, so why don't you pee and take a picture?

12, orange said to orange, people who take off their clothes easily are not good people.

13, I always feel that raising you is sweeter than loving you.

14, I lost hope to disappointment, so say goodbye.

15, I love you, but it doesn't mean I can't live without you. Be careful I kick you in a bad temper.

16, I love you, come back for you, fuck you, I love you.

17, people sometimes cry when they are old, so love is over. Let's go

18, fuck love, employers and employees don't like it, please take mistress out of my sight.

19, at that time, simplicity was synonymous with innocence; Now, simplicity is synonymous with pack to force.

20, women, to live a high profile, don't let the dog behind you see jokes.

2 1. He abandoned me and will abandon you sooner or later, so don't be too happy.

22. Smart women value friends, while stupid women value friends.

If you don't love me, please leave consciously, or I will let you die very ugly.

24. Don't play tricks behind your back, but in front of me.

25. Go up and kick someone when they bully you, and then tell him that you are not easy to bully.

26. Why are you crying? You are a useless person, aren't you?

Don't be silly, the best person in the world has married your mother.

28. I have a full battery. Who can corona myself?

29. I hope to see you become a white-haired grandfather.

30. I just want to prove to you that I am happy to dump you.

3 1, today is your birthday, and a friend ordered a shit cake for you.

My colleague Bugatti Veyron was driven away by the traffic police one day.

33. If your wife says you, just listen; I said you, just bear it.

34. It is said that I met love at the corner, but I met a big German shepherd at the corner.

35. The most vicious spell is to curse that people who love each other are brothers and sisters.

Happiness is that cats eat fish, dogs chew bones and I sleep.

37. Isn't that what love is all about? Break up after injury

38. Compared with genius, you will lose. You should be more stupid than him. You must win.

Your love for me is as vigorous as a tractor climbing a mountain.

40. I can fall asleep in class every day. I am dreaming.

Super humorous children's quotations.

Love story during SARS period

DuDu is lewd. Yesterday, she whimsically told Xiao that she wanted to have children with the most beautiful girl in her class. He even dragged Mr. An An to Xuanxuan and pointed to the teacher's ring and said to Xuanxuan, "If you like me, I'll give this to you." Xuanxuan ignored him and went to find someone else to play with. Dudu suffered this setback because of love and hate, and Jessica Hester Hsuan didn't come to school in the next few days. He told everyone that Jessica Hester Hsuan was caught in the Iraqi war, or that she was quarantined because of SARS.

Mother asked, "Dudu, do you think the little sister next door is funny?" Mom gave birth to a little sister for you, too, okay? Dudu was still sad that Xuanxuan refused to marry him and replied, "I don't like my sister." . Otherwise, mom will give me a puppy, white! ! "

Free child

Dudu clamored for his mother to buy him a piggy bank. His mother teased Dudu and asked him what to buy first after saving money. Dudu excitedly told his mother that he was going to buy sanitary napkins. "What to buy? ! "Mom opened her eyes wide and thought she heard wrong. Dudu replied: "Buy sanitary napkins! It is often said on TV that as long as you use sanitary napkins, you can stand upside down, ride a bike, row a boat and swim freely in the swimming pool ... "Mom fainted!

Auntie Tiger

Dudu clamored for his father to take him to the circus. Dad leaned lazily on the sofa, unwilling to move, yawned and said, "No, son, I don't have time." Dudu said, "Listen to the children, there is a naked aunt dancing on the tiger in the circus." Dad thought for a moment and said, "Well, let's go together. I haven't seen a tiger for a long time. "

Popular children

After June 1st, the children got together and performed. Wu Xuanxuan is the best. She went on stage to play the piano. After the performance, the parents who watched the show kept shouting for her to play another one. Teacher An An asked Xuanxuan if she wanted to play another song. As a result, Xuanxuan was so anxious that she was about to cry: "I didn't play wrong. Why should I play it again? "

Dating an angel

Xiaoyudian was so excited when she flew for the first time that she ran around in the aisle and almost knocked over the drinks on the stewardess's hands. Mom was busy with luggage and children, and she was really overwhelmed. She blamed Xiaoyu and said, "If you want to play, go out and play."

I love Ann!

Dudu especially likes the beautiful teacher An An. One day, he finally got up the courage to say to the teacher, "Teacher, I like you!" " "Teacher An An teased him with a smile and said," But I don't like children. "Dudu hurriedly said to Ann," I'll be careful. There will be no children. " Teacher An fainted!

Listening to the radio in the dormitory that day, I heard a very young girl order a song for her mother. She said that her mother was very hard and couldn't rest on Sunday, so she wanted to order a song for her mother. Hearing this, the master said, "What a sensible child. What song do you want to give your mother? " The little girl said in a childish voice, "I want to buy new women in Winnie, so why bother women?" .

Raindrop (female, two and a half years old, a child in a kindergarten class)

Raindrop is only two and a half years old. She is a child in a small kindergarten class. On this day, the students in the small class played games, and the teacher poured a basket of building blocks on the table to let the friends in the small class play freely. I saw raindrops lined up blocks in front of me, then pushed them forward and shouted, "I am Hu!" " "

Xiao Duo (male, four years old, a child in Class 3 of kindergarten)

Xiaoduo and her mother went shopping, and as a result, her mother lost her baby. Xiaoduo cried and asked her uncle and aunt in the street, "Have you seen my mother? There is a little fat man beside my mother! ! "

Teacher An An (a female teacher in Class 3 of kindergarten)

Teacher An's boyfriend came to see Teacher An in kindergarten today. When the children saw someone coming, they all rushed to show their kindness and shouted, "Teacher, teacher, your father is coming to pick you up." The teachers fainted.

Dudu (male, four years old, kindergarten class three children)

Dudu VS ant

Mom asked Dudu to help dry the clothes. Dudu just watched a group of ants moving bugs in the yard. His mother Jiao Yu said, "Look how hardworking ants are and never waste time playing." DuDu said unconvinced, "But every time I travel to the suburbs, I always meet them."

The caterpillar and its mother

Today's weather is so good that even the caterpillars come out to play. Dudu proudly showed Mr. An a crawling caterpillar in his hand. But teacher An An trembled at the sight of the caterpillar, and hurriedly coaxed the children to play: "Get it outside quickly, its mother must be looking for it." Dudu turned and ran out of the classroom, and Teacher An was relieved. Who knows DuDu came in after a while, with two caterpillars crawling on his arm, and said to Teacher An An, "Teacher, I also brought the moth."

Dudu quotations

DuDu's growing experience: If you want to buy expensive toys, it's better to tell grandpa than dad.

Dudu's ideal: if I grow up to be a woman, I will become a doctor; If I grow up, I will be an engineer.

DuDu's concept of love when he was three years old: We all fall in love with relatives, such as my grandparents, uncles and aunts.

Dudu's two-year plan when he was five years old: When I finish kindergarten, I will start thinking about finding a wife for myself.

Dudu's most shameful past: I was so tired one afternoon that I fell asleep unconsciously when I was defecating in kindergarten.

Dudu beat dad:

Dad scolded DuDu: "You are so stupid, you are really a little pig!" " Do you know what a pig is? "

Dudu: "Yes, it's the son of a pig."

Dudu is very disdainful to his mother: Mother: "Be careful not to eat the bugs in the apple!" " "

Dudu: "Why should I be careful? It's time for it to pay attention to me! "

You can trust me.

An old woman is sitting on a chair in the park. Dudu, who was playing with children on the lawn, suddenly ran over and asked, "Grandma, is your tooth okay?" Grandma kindly replied, "No, it's all gone." So Dudu confidently took out a bag of walnuts and said, "Please hold it for me, and I'll play ball."

Today, my little uncle came home and saw Dudu sitting on the ground playing with building blocks seriously. He casually asked him, "Does your teacher give you music lessons?" Dudu replied: "Of course! Teacher An An also taught us to sing ducklings last week. " Little uncle wanted to test him, so he asked DuDu to sing a new song. Dudu thought for a moment and seemed a little at a loss. After a while, he suddenly twisted his waist and shook his ass and sang, "The woman I love the most loves me the most. Why do you love others behind my back? " Little uncle was dumbfounded.

Music cell

In order to cultivate Dudu's artistic accomplishment, his father took him to the concert hall to enjoy the violin concert. One hour, two hours passed, and the performers on the stage continued to perform ... Finally DuDu was really fed up. He asked loudly, "Dad! When can he saw that wooden box? " Dad fainted.

Funny, funny, humorous conversation

1. The so-called sleeping goods can be summarized in eight words: spring sleep, summer fatigue, autumn sleep and hibernation.

2. I asked: Is my avatar awesome? He said, like ...

Nobody wants me except you. I just don't want anyone except you. ...

I love you until the news broadcast is over. ...

You don't know who you love most until you are drunk, and you don't know who you love most until you are sick. ...

6. Only you know whether it hurts or not, and only you know whether it has changed or not. ...

7. Don't take a person's past to doubt a person's essence. ...

8. Don't say sorry to me, because we are all right. ...

9. Once you are unfaithful, you will never need it. Whoever lets me down, I will let him down.

10. God, I will never call you grandpa again. You don't love my granddaughter at all 1 1. Look at people with time and heart, not eyes. ...

12. If you have two days and five days off a week, no one will be absent from class.

13. Wow ... It's so hot! B: What's hot? A: Water. B: Take your time. A: Foot washing water ...

14. Everyone speaks as they say. I read the medical records. I can't even imagine a doctor ...

15. In the future, I will make a movie about the girls who were not chased by us in those years. I don't believe it. ...

16. Yesterday, I took part in the pigeon racing in the city, and I went alone. ...

18. Little sunflower's mother started school, and her child always coughed badly, mostly because she was abandoned.

19. In the northeast, there is a sport called calf rolling. ...

20. It's not just beautiful parents, but living beautifully is the real skill.

2 1. Cry when you are sad, and laugh when you grow up.

22. If a woman is a book, many women have only three pages: one page depicts a car, another page depicts a house, and another page depicts a ticket.

23. Buckle signature: "I am hot all over."

24. Why do orangutans have big nostrils? Because its fingers are thick. ...

25. Don't let others get you easily, or you will be easily forgotten.

26. A scene exhausted the clown and made the audience laugh. ...

27. Youth is like dandelion. It seems to be free, but it can't help itself.

28. If I die, my first sentence is: I don't have to be afraid of ghosts at last.

The fairest thing in life is that everyone will die.

The color of the money in your pocket determines your mood today. ...

3 1. In the dead of night, I often ask myself whether it is right or wrong to decide to come to earth. ...

Online and invisible are the same these days-no one cares about you.

33. Look at the middle of the nose, look at the face with neat bangs, look at the temperament with oblique bangs, and look at the five bangs.

34. I just finished watching Titanic 3D today. At the end, a 2B shouted: Let the women and children go first!

35. The so-called brothers are not seeing each other when they get rich. The reunion of suffering and happiness.

You are my special concern, but you are not my recent visitor.

37. Do you know how disgusting you are? When your mother first felt your existence … she threw up! !

38. In order to drive a Land Rover, you have to endure hardships. Young people will only drive Li Xia if they don't work hard. ...

39. Destroy your life, and Warcraft is poor for three generations. If you don't touch these two, you will become Gao Fushuai. ...

40. It's time to change the notebook-it takes 5 minutes to turn it on and the battery only lasts 3 minutes!